well, for me the problem about eye contact is, that I cant focus on two things at the same time without losing capacity or quality of both.
that means if I want to use my brain and all of its capacity I have to eliminate my eyes focus and fade down my senses so that I can concentrate on my inner eye if you know what I mean. I think this is the general reason for autistics not to look into others eyes.
and of course looking into otherones eyes is not an inborn quality, it's a characteristic people in a society learn from fellow men by watching them from the moment they are born. since autistic people are far mor introverted in their early years, the aspect of learning by doing and thinking matters much more than the aspect of learning by watching others, so they never really get used to irrational habits everybody else is informed with by society.
in a warm and sorrowless relationship sometimes there is no need to think about heavy things, if two persons have found to each other smalltalk is abundant to notice to have someone who cares around you. when they really trust each other they can just look into each others eyes and feel them. peace, caring, why should aspergians miss these aspects of life? at least my feelings seem to be much purer and more intense than the ones of "animen" and women who are just driven by instinct in everything they do.
hopefully we all will find someone we can care about and we can respect, that cares about us in a amorous way too. no matter how far we have to travel for.