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Tuttle
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18 Jul 2011, 5:02 pm

Lots of us Aspies have issues with eye contact. Personally, I have issues with eye contact with /most/ people, but have absolutely none with my boyfriend.

In fact, it goes so far as that some of my personal definition of loving someone is being comfortable looking them in the eyes.

Are love and eye contact connected for anyone else?



OhNowIGetIt
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18 Jul 2011, 6:16 pm

I am one of those sappy ppl who can "get lost" in the eyes of the one I love, but it is much too much with just anyone for more than a few seconds.

I, too reserve prolonged eye contact for my love... of which I have none right now. I can look deeply into my children's eyes, but don't know that it counts!



MONKEY
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18 Jul 2011, 6:44 pm

I can keep prolonged eye contact with my boyfriend, he's the only one I can do that with. But not so much when we're talking, when we're just sitting silent I could stare at them forever!


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Iloveshoujoai
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18 Jul 2011, 7:32 pm

How romantic of you. I too find looking someone in the eyes to be highly intimate.



Ashuahhe
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18 Jul 2011, 7:47 pm

I can only stare at my boyfriend's eyes for a long time, they are a beautiful colour!



MathGirl
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18 Jul 2011, 8:26 pm

MONKEY wrote:
I can keep prolonged eye contact with my boyfriend, he's the only one I can do that with. But not so much when we're talking, when we're just sitting silent I could stare at them forever!
Same.


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awes
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19 Jul 2011, 2:07 pm

well, for me the problem about eye contact is, that I cant focus on two things at the same time without losing capacity or quality of both.
that means if I want to use my brain and all of its capacity I have to eliminate my eyes focus and fade down my senses so that I can concentrate on my inner eye if you know what I mean. I think this is the general reason for autistics not to look into others eyes.
and of course looking into otherones eyes is not an inborn quality, it's a characteristic people in a society learn from fellow men by watching them from the moment they are born. since autistic people are far mor introverted in their early years, the aspect of learning by doing and thinking matters much more than the aspect of learning by watching others, so they never really get used to irrational habits everybody else is informed with by society.

in a warm and sorrowless relationship sometimes there is no need to think about heavy things, if two persons have found to each other smalltalk is abundant to notice to have someone who cares around you. when they really trust each other they can just look into each others eyes and feel them. peace, caring, why should aspergians miss these aspects of life? at least my feelings seem to be much purer and more intense than the ones of "animen" and women who are just driven by instinct in everything they do.
hopefully we all will find someone we can care about and we can respect, that cares about us in a amorous way too. no matter how far we have to travel for.



superboyian
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19 Jul 2011, 4:07 pm

The fact that you love someone so much and you feel so comfortable with the other half, we tend to just stare at each other into each others eyes and it seems to not overwhelm us in that way.

I do this so much with my girlfriend, it's just beautiful personally. :heart:


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hyperlexian
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19 Jul 2011, 6:42 pm

i have MORE trouble maintaining eye contact with someone i love romantically, at least for the first weeks/months. i can hardly even turn and look directly at them!! ! it's like looking right at the person overwhelms my senses and i feel overcome with emotion.

once i get to know a person really really well, i have no trouble giving eye contact under normal circumstances. but if any emotions run high (i.e. affection, anger, sadness), then i revert to looking away again.


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awes
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19 Jul 2011, 7:09 pm

that's true... once I was in love and really couldn't handle it to look into her eyes for longer than a moment, because it overexcited me and I suddenly jerked away. It somehow hypnotized me, I couldn't look away, I was paralized when I looked into her eyes until I couldn't handle it anymore. but that depended on the situation I did... but at last I was afraid of doing it and it mostly didn't even work out to get my focus into her eyes. that's a kind of sad I think...



queenserenity22
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19 Jul 2011, 11:34 pm

My boyfriend is really the only person that I can maintain eye contact with as well. I love staring at him all the time it makes me happy to see his face.


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ASPERGERSJOHN
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20 Jul 2011, 6:49 am

Tuttle wrote:
Lots of us Aspies have issues with eye contact. Personally, I have issues with eye contact with /most/ people, but have absolutely none with my boyfriend.

In fact, it goes so far as that some of my personal definition of loving someone is being comfortable looking them in the eyes.

Are love and eye contact connected for anyone else?


I have issues with eye contact but on a thread i started i said the person i fancy i find it easier to make eye contact with her than any other person so i would say yes there connected although we are not together.