I Want an Aspie Girfriend

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Ever since I realized I was an Aspie about 2 years ago, I have been thinking: wouldn't the best girl for an Aspie guy be an Aspie herself? It seems like we would understand each other's special needs more so than an NT would.

Or is the exact opposite true? Would two Aspies in a relationship be like throwing gasoline on a bonfire?

My non-aspie girlfriend sometimes suggests that i'd be better off with someone who also had AS.

Imo, its incredibly possible that you will find someone with AS who understands you, but it is also very much possible you will find an NT who empathizes as much as possible. Or heck, even just empathize with you enough so the "differences" don't get in the way of your relationship.

Men and women with AS can be jackasses, men and women who are NT can be jackasses, I wouldn't limit yourself based on a diagnosis.

It can go both ways. There are huge advantages and huge disadvantages of an aspie/aspie relationship compared to an aspie/NT relationship.

Advantages include both needing time alone and more likely having similar view points.

Disadvantages include meltdowns and not having the NT to translate for you when you want it. It is harsh to have one of you meltdown and triggering the other to meltdown.

I don't think you can really say either way would be better in general. Aspie/NT relationships and aspie/aspie relationships both can succeed and fail.

Personally, I'm in an aspie/aspie relationship, and highly enjoy it. However, there is no question in my mind that some things would be easier in an aspie/NT relationship. He tends to pull away because of triggers different than the ones that cause me to pull away, and we tend to spiral out of control easily because of each other's moods affecting us too much when they're meltdown levels.

Either an aspie or an NT can understand aspies, its just important to have that understanding in the relationship - In the aspie/NT couple I know best, the NT thinks of herself as an NT/aspie translator - she is an NT, but she has a deeper understanding of aspies than most NTs and know how to translate between the needs of both sides. It seems to work well. At the same time I'd say my relationship is working well as an aspie/aspie one .

I think Greatsharkbite's comment of "I wouldn't limit yourself based on a diagnosis" is the most apt statement to make. If you find someone, you can figure out then whether aspie/NT or aspie/aspie is the relationship you'll be pursuing .

It depends on the person.

Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. It's more about personality and nature compatibility than neurological condition.

You should never look for someone to complete you. If you do this, you should be working on completing yourself.

I have wondered too, if I would be best off w. an Aspie guy. Who knows?
I'm an Aspergirl all the way but I am never a jackass on purpose. I do have some needs that differ from others, but I have those sorted out and accomidated. I can't always live in that bubble and it would be nice to have a soft place to fall when I'm on overload and need to "de-frag" but if someone I am with has the same issues or more than me I don't know if that would be worse or better?
I just don't know, I haven't ever tried an aspie to aspie relationship w. anyone w. but my brother who is also AS. Judging by that, not too good a thing, but then again he IS a jackass on purpose sometimes! ha ha ha, I love him. But don't know if the dynamic is hard on us b/c we are both AS or not. We kind of take a seperate stance on the whole autism thing, I think. My aspie-kids are more "free-range aspies" and his AS son is therapied, schooled, possibly even medicated- I don't know. So, yeah, lots of stuff there.
Guess it will have to remain a question for me right now, without conclusion.
So I am no help at all, but I do often wonder the same thing.

I'm an Aspie guy who found an Aspie girl here on WP & we are a lot more compatible & get along a lot more smoothly than me & my NT ex 8years ago did so going by my limited experience I believe that Aspies are better for each other than Aspies & NTs are

every nt girl i meet doesn't seem compatible at all (to put it nicely, maybe its the degenerate crowd im involved with)... I wouldn't be opposed to dating an nt but I imagine its more likely a girl i could see myself with would be an aspie. Just speculations though as i haven't had a girlfriend of any kind.

An aspie girlfriend. I'd be in favour of that... My wife may have a different oppinion though.

Next time I accidentally hurt someone I care about through some misjudgement I'll wear one of those I'm Not Rude, I'm Autistic t-shirts when saying sorry. Were she autistic herself then it'd save me £10 on the t-shirt.

I just want a girlfriend.

Someone who's understanding, caring, and doesn't look down on me for having poor social skills.