How can you tell if an NT guy is flirting with you?

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chibi555
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14 Jul 2011, 12:17 am

Ok so, I have this NT guy friend who I think might be flirting with me but I'm not 100% sure :? . He sometimes does nice stuff like, takes time to talk just to me, and tries to make me laugh (much to the expense of a guy I once liked) :) . But he also does stuff like call me by a nickname I don't like, comment on my looks (like if I have a zit), and at times he annoys me to the point where I wanna punch him :x . So how can I tell?



orchidee
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14 Jul 2011, 12:21 am

How old is he? This sort of thing can vary a lot by age.

A lot of times, teasing can be flirting or at least someone trying to get closer as friends. If he comments on your looks, it means he definitely notices them, so I'd say that's probably a huge sign.

From what you've said, I think it's likely he is flirting, but of course I can't say for sure.



chibi555
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14 Jul 2011, 12:40 am

The guy's in his late teens. The last time he commented on my looks was when he pointed out a big zit I had. :x
I've known him for years so I know how annoying he can be. Which is why I have a little trouble processing the whole flirting concept. :?



spongy
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14 Jul 2011, 12:39 pm

I believe that the whole commenting on your zit etc might be a way of teasing you.
For example last time I fell for a girl I made an attempt to show that I was interested but at the same time I made sure that I made fun of her once in a while to make sure that I wasnt coming too strong.
This implies making fun of child-like behaviour(even though I found it adorable), critizicing her clothing style once a week(she did that with mine once every couple of days so we were even)...

Before I started the whole teasing thing she was just someone needed a study partner and I was just the guy filling a blank(she didnt like studying at the library and to get a small study room you had to be studying with someone else), after I started teasing her we began getting to know each other better and eventually we met outside university a couple of times.


As for the op I think he likes you, I had similar behaviour with another female at that age(mutual name calling, critizicing each other without going to far...) and I was asked at least once a week by some random acquaintaince why werent we going out until eventually we went out for a while.



chibi555
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15 Jul 2011, 2:48 am

Ok, that might be true, but I'm not sure if I should take him seriously on the whole him liking me thing. :?
Part of the time when he flirted with me, he was dating another girl I know (I found that out later on and was so mad :evil: ). But after a little while he talked with me about the relationship, and said he was breaking up with her (which he did), and asked for my opinion. I was nice about it and told him I wished him the best, when on the inside I was going What 8O ?.
Plus there was a dance (he went with someone else, I went with friends). I was dancing and he asked if I wanted to dance with him, while his date was at another table. :x
I'm not clear on flirting and dating rules, so all of this is giving me mixed signals. :(
Is he serious or just trying to kill time?
And if he is serious sould I give him a chance? :?



CrinklyCrustacean
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15 Jul 2011, 4:38 am

chibi555 wrote:
Plus there was a dance (he went with someone else, I went with friends). I was dancing and he asked if I wanted to dance with him, while his date was at another table. :x

Maybe he wanted to dance with someone else, for a change? Dancing every dance with the same girl gets dull after a while.



chibi555
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15 Jul 2011, 11:38 pm

Good point. I just want him to be clear about how he feels twards me. :?
I tried flirting with him once (and failed).
Maybe I should try being a little more forward (like asking him out for lunch).
Would that be too forward or what? :?



AsteroidNap
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16 Jul 2011, 12:20 pm

Maybe others would disagree with me, but my feeling is that as an AS trying to play the romance game as an NT when your not is trouble. Be yourself and do what you want to do. "Being too forward" is an NT analysis that we Aspies will never get right..either we're too forward or not forward enough.

That's my opinion anyway.



chibi555
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16 Jul 2011, 6:38 pm

Very true, trying romance the NT way has NOT served me well in the past. :( I think just seeing how things go might work. Thanks :)



Tequila
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16 Jul 2011, 6:40 pm

Ask him if he wants to shove a banana up your ass. ;)
































(j/k - this is a reference to another thread in the same forum)



blitzkrieg
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17 Jul 2011, 3:34 am

I didn't need the inside joke to find that funny. Childish eh.



chibi555
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21 Jul 2011, 1:30 pm

Very childish