Help!

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Does anybody have some good ideas for me? I started dating a guy last year, and I instantly fell in love with him. He seemed awkward and shy and realtly quirky. I remember telling him he was interesting, as he had all this funny odd things to say. He would make me laugh and smile when he wasn't even trying to. We instantly started spending every day together. He would log all our dates in a book and make sure to keep track of every receipt outing we had together. He would constantly want to see me all the time and would take me on romantic dates to wonderful, fun places. We would spend all our time together, travel together, do everything together. He would write me cards, bring flowers to my work, do anything and everything to make me happy. But sometimes, he would just get quiet. I would feel really sad and insecure and would just think it was me and my problems causing him to withdraw. He seemed to be in another world and nothing I said could snap him out of it. If I talked to him when he was in a mood like this, he would say that we are talking in circles and avoid me. I would end up crying and leaving the house, but he would never go after me. He would just withdraw more. Sometimes he would just totally change the subject and try to avoid, saying he wants to live in Simplelville with no problems. I took this as personal rejection. I was trying to get a clear understanding of where he wanted to go in the relationship as I was spending all my time with him. I was going to buy a house, but he said maybe we could live together. He never gave me a clear answer, but I cancelled the contract on the house. He still was not ready for me to move in. When I talked about fixing the house up to meet our needs, he just drew detailed pictures with crayons and put them on the walls with tape. It was cute and funny but it seemed so temporary. He says he just lives in the moment, and I wanted permanency. When it came to sex he started to withdraw and he started having more shut downs. He had a very difficult time verbalizing that he loved me and when he finally did, it seemed unnatural and scary for him. Finally after many meltdowns on my part to try to win his attention back after a shut down, we broke up. I constantly was pushing him to make a decision and he shut down completely.
We started talking again after two months of being broken up. He said he wanted to be my friend. I initiated the contact, but he kept it going. Calling me, texting me, asking me out on "dates" as he called them. He knew my physical boundaries because we were not in a relationship, and so he never went there. He made me mixed CDs, brought me flowers and ice cream, cards, drew pictures of us together, took pictures of us together, took me out on a boat for my birthday, gave me a gift card to Victoria's Secret for 100 dollars, postponed his plans to spend time with me or help me do something I needed help with. Waited for me for a long time to finish at the gym to take me out to dinner. Took me on tons of dates, always paid, always called, always acted like the complete gentleman. Did I mention we were never physical?! Talked about our plans together and seemed to always want to be with me. He seemed to get jealous if I left him out or did not respond. However, when I became emotional and/or brought up our "relationship" he became defensive and told me we were only friends and eventually each of us would date someone else and if I became emotional like this, somebody was going to get hurt! So, he said we should not hang out anymore. It broke my heart. I was very, very sad. However, a nurse friend of mine that knows the story and has spoken with him, told me she believes he has AS. Could this be true? Also, I forgot to mention that he is an engineer and seems fascinated with telling me outlandish details about the universe that I do not understand. However, when it comes to feelings, etc. he has a very difficult time going there and some things that are a very big part of his life (death of his sister, etc.) he has never told me about, and I found out about them from his family. I still love him very much, but this is destroying me. I ended up in the hospital after our first breakup! I told him I think he has AS, and he agrees that he believes I am correct. However, he is doing nothing to work on this behavior, and he says he does not want to see a counselor. Help! I either have to move on or get him help.

Really? He trys to do things to work on it sometimes and he says he has come a long way thanks to me, but I feel my emotional health is really suffering. Does this sound like AS to you? Is this an excuse for his behavior?

I agree with KRX. It is time to move on... And it sounds all to familiar to me now. I know it hard to give up that level of attention. And AS is not an excuse. It just is. And the more I try to puzzle this together, it is not his fault. And of course, it isn't yours either to be enchanted by him. But as hard it is may be, just move on. As I learned sadly, all those wonderful traits can come with some others that are not so wonderful until he is ready to address them...

Just having the diagnosis won't do anything if that diagnosis doesn't move him to do something to make the situation better.

He may be extremely dear to you, but it sounds like you keep getting hurt and he keeps not listening to what's going on. This situation seems to be somewhat poisonous for your well-being.

Help!! Paragraphing special force needed!! HEELLLPP!

I appreciate your all letting me know this. I agree. I did tell him this last time to not contact me. I just could not handle it. Of course he has respected my wishes. It all makes me very sad. He has not come to terms with his diagnosis and has not been officially diagnosed, so him even admitting to having it is coming a really long way for him. I see so much potential. I just don't know if I am strong enough to go through it with him.

Very frustrating situation. I sent you a personal message (upper righthand corner of page).