Do you still FREEZE???

Post Reply New Topic

I've been going through a bit of a crappy patch lately, but starting to get back into something of a groove. Being a musician, I kind of have to.

I went to a little gathering where there were a few women chilling out (good-looking too).

I almost forgot what it was like to be inexplicably uncomfortable with my surroundings, I felt like I was in college again. So to all of those who may or may not have improved their social life. Do you still freeze up completely when talking to girls?

Almost to the point where whatever comes out of your mouth sounds like complete babble (even if sometimes it isn't and you manage to pull through)?

I ask simply because, even if you manage to keep it together, you still have to be able to engage your listener in a way that at least makes yourself seem attractive to them.

It will get better, of that I am completely sure, but sometimes it's just not fun lol

I begin to freeze up, but I don't babble - I just digress into a discussion of whichever of my special interests comes to mind.

Needless to say, I'm single.

I have the tendency to freeze when I'm nervous. I haven't really done that with women for a long time though, mostly probably because I don't interact with a lot of women I don't know. I remember going into embarrassing babble-mode in the past, though.

Hey, I do that too!

And I'm also single

Maybe there's something wrong with the strategy

You think?

Pretty much what I do - I'm just lucky that I happen to be knowledgeable about a few popular subjects.

It's a really valuable skill to be able to be engaging enough to make whatever it is you're talking about sound like the greatest thing in the world ever lol.

Off-topic: Okay, MountZion, I give. Who is that in your avatar?

On-topic: I'm a freezer, too, if I'm feeling particularly Aspie in that moment. Very unattractive, even in females.

Actress called Antonia Thomas, she plays a character in a show called Misfits in England. Needless to say, she's hot. Very.

They call the freezing, shyness, which isn't very popular these days lool.

Does it still count as freezing if you do not talk to any girls/women outside of work at all?

It's really weird that you mention this. I had been making progress on freezing over the past year or so. But two weekends ago I went to GenCon, and it was like all progress I'd made, not only in the last year, but the last decade, was gone.

Part of it was stimulation overload no doubt...but here were a bunch of cool, geeky women that I had loads in common with, and couldn't bring myself to engage any of them. And then that familiar downward spiral kicks in where I get frustrated and p.o.'d at myself for being such a coward, which then further tanks my self-esteem, which frustrates me even more, and....you get the picture. I found myself huddled on benches tucked away from people near the end of the Convention ...

I'm heartened by the fact that I recognized what was happening to me. My therapist would be proud, haha. But I couldn't find the right impetus to throw me out of that spiral.

Looking back now, it was probably my fear of success (which I have in spades). Success leads to change, which, as we know, going against routine isn't our strong point. Yeah...hmm, even as I type this, I'm figuring some things out, lol. Dammit! haha.