Review this poem please.

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Treasured soul






Unused to the feelings, it has been such a long time,
since I have crossed souls, with one such as mine.

You are the high light of my thoughts, and as such, of my dreams,
I love to listen to your voice, as you paint pictures unseen.

Careful and guarded as you quest through this life,
In relation, I am respectful, Ours has been one of strife.

I am not playing hero, though I can be your knight,
to be there when needed, like strong wind for a kite.

You inspire my imagination and stir my emotion,
I find you divine and you have my devotion.

Forgive me if this all seems to sweet,
but you are like the someone I always wanted to meet.

I love having coffee and talking about your day,
or perhaps just watching a movie, as we both think of things to say.

I am sorry if I seemed upset when you did not come over last night,
the truth is, I was worried and concerned if you were alright.

I hope to talk to you soon, writings taking its toll,
just wanted you to know that you are my treasured soul.

I don't like it, and would not suggest poems as a concept. Rhyming ones make you look...well, I could go on a massive rant here but people tend to take those personally when in fact they asked a question and I gave an answer. So in the interests of my safety as a member of this board, I will go no further than to tell you that I do not like either the concept or the content of your poem.

Postscript-And now we get to see what happens when we put subatai on probation and lock up his frustration. This one could get fun...

Rhyming is probably at least 100% more effective in recalling information. Can you be more precise in describing what you mean by "not suggesting poems as a concept?", other than a concept is a creative act of will.

I don't like poetry as a concept for love. It just feels...forced. Damnit, I need to insult something!

I tend to have difficulty expressing emotions because I realized some time ago that I control my inner dynamic. I find that it is easier to relate how I allow myself to feel by the written word. When I am having face to face intimate emotional communication, to many potential outcomes are brought to mind. I would not want to have a negative response by implying anything accidently. At this point in this developing relationship I am attempting to be very cautious with my approach. It is a delicate balance. Not to fast, not to slow. Though I do think that it is important to express how I feel, for better or for worse.

If you like her, tell her as much. Say what comes to mind. If you didn't mean it, it shouldn't have come to mind. Thinking everything through is not what a relationship is about. That's what a business is about. That's what politics are about. That's not what a relationship is about. Be impulsive.

I have told her as much. She is Bipolar. I have read that many people with B.P. require a lot of reinforcement. Personally I think she might have aspergers. She definitely exhibits symptoms. She reads a lot into things just as I do. She also enjoys writing poetry to express herself, so I decided that it might be an effective method to relate. Thank you for your opinion subatai_baadur, it is appreciated. I have extreme difficulty with being impulsive in this context. I will attempt to be more spontaneous though.

Well, I like it.

If subatai doesn't like ANY poem then being a poetry critic probably isn't the right job...

Thank you sociable_hermit.

Hello VesicaPisces,

Here are a few comments I wish to make:

Well, I like it too. If I had more guts and confindence in my relationship, I would ask if I could use it, it fits just right. But, I am running out of courage for now....