Why am I sooo awkward. Ill never get a date / BF =0

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Soo, Im really shy. Painfully. I do not understand people so I just avoid them.

And people often misinterpret this and think Im just a b***h... And I try to seem nice, but am always pretty quiet with people I dont know. And since I am not overly emotional and out there everyone thinks I am arrogant and mean and that I dislike them.

On top of this I am completely introverted, and can go days or weeks without talking to anyone, mainly because I dont think about it. So the little friends I do have, slowly get mad or forget me.

So if I cant even keep friend, how will I ever find a boyfriend or something? Is this even something I want? I feel like I might be missing out on a lot, but am not sure how to go about changing things...


Whats a workaround to this? Im 24, cute, smart, and apparently undateable.

Suggestions? What do you guys do?

Can't offer any good advice cause I'm personally very needy and simultaneously (I feel) 100% extrovert and 100% introvert.

Except: maybe ylook for a boy like you. Who doesn't need interaction that often. What are your interests? Any websites/organizations/clubs you could join?

Give yourself some time and study the subject. Then slowly start trying out socializing. Learn from any mistakes you make, and don't get discouraged no matter what. Don't dwell on any mistakes past learning from thdm though. Look forward and stay positive.

That's what I did.

1.) For me, a relationship (once I found someone who saw my unique viewpoint as cute and even helpful to them) was WAY easier than a friendship. If you find the right person, you can be open with them. And then, you actually want to spend a bit more time with them because you don't have to "act" and they will understand that you need time for yourself too.

2.) The same feeling (I think) peaked when I was in my late teens, so I applied myself to learning about personality types and devoured books like "Please Understand Me" and after several years, I was able to connect emotionally a lot better.

3.) Finding the appropriate place to meet someone is helpful. I found that the nerdy, geeky types of people quite liked me in a sustainable way, as opposed to the more popular, shallow people. So libraries, or comic book stores, or meetup groups for anime, depending on your interests of course. And, offered with an appropriate "be cautious though", online is always a nice place to start for people who are better with writing.

Sorry if the above is preachy or something...

Where do you live? I mean what state or country? It may be very possible that you will find a fellow Aspie who lives near you. Another idea is to look outside of your native culture. Just about everyone I have dated for a significant period of time was from a different culture.

Not preachy.. You guys have a point. I guess I just need to try harder at being more social. Start accepting my awkwardness, someone might like it..

And yes I guess meeting the right kind of person is important. Most of the people I meet now are drunk / superficial / model types that dont care for much other them themselves. Not the best crowd to be a shy introvert around.. Nope. Hmm Im going to start hanging out in libraries, =)

Well, I've been plowing through some of my own frustrations recently with one of my AS friends who has been uncommunicative and all I can say is that friendships DO take some sort of maintenance. I'm not talking about high maintence either -- communicating every couple weeks just to say "hi" would most likely be enough for most people. However, not communicating with people for months at a time probably suggests to the other person that you aren't interested in maintaining the friendship (even though you probably ARE, but have just forgotten to call them or you needed to be alone for a bit.)

My practical advice: put reminders on your calendar to call Friend A, or email Friend B etc. That way, even when you're not thinking of it, it will show up on your calendar and you can take appropriate action. If you're not up for a long chat and want to do the hibernation thing, then just send an email saying something like, "I've been travelling/busy/etc. but just wanted to drop you a note to let you know I'm thinking of you. Hope to see you soon."

Succinct. Nothing fancy. Your friends will appreciate that you're thinking of them and will probably stick around.

Hope that helps!

I have exactly the same problems. After much thinking, I came up with a solution: medication for anxiety.

Unfortunately, no one knows that I have Asperger's syndrome. Since it would be quite difficult to hide Xanax from my family, I still haven't mustered the courage to get an official diagnosis and a solution to my anxiety.

Alternatively, I could try opening myself up to my colleagues at school and work, but that would require some way of decreasing my anxiety. Which leads to the original solution.

Alcohol is OTC Xanax.

This sounds like me with a good bit of this.

I want to give advice to you on this, but I can't. I struggle with this as well at times. All I can say is you are not alone...

Yesss I came to the exact same conclusion. Tried to get xanax and failed miserably.

And yes alcohol / drugs can help too and easier to get. But thats just always going to end up being really messy. God the things Ive done to try and be less anxious and weird.. The one time I finally was being social and almost hooked up with a guy its because I got reaallly wasted, but ended up in the bathroom throwing up. And the guy was still trying to make out with me. Iewww.

There are plenty of weird people who appreciate others' weirdnesses. You just have to accept yourself and act like yourself and find them. (Or so I want to believe, lol.)

Of course, if you tend to like the type that don't appreciate "weirdness", then that could be problematic in the long term.

You'll find a "BF" here after pages.

I predict that after few pages, it'll become BF = 1.

Forget that posey model scene, its full of NT codes and markers its impossible for an aspie

I have been watching people closely for long periods of time

There are viable options for high functioning autistics, but it comes down to discernment.

Only a few men from a crowd, will ever be suitable options. The rest is just time wasting and disappointments that no one needs.

Be prepared to do the forward gestures, as these suitable guys might not even notice you