This sucks

Post Reply New Topic

Just got this message from a girl I met on OkCupid:

I feel you need to know something going on in my life as I strongly believe in honesty and being genuine. I have been seeing someone on and off since June and last night we had a discussion in regards to becoming more exclusive and moving onto a relationship. I will be closing my okcupid account too. That doesn't mean I can't still talk to you...I just felt you had the right to know.

at least she was honest. you dont know how rare that trait is.

That's common on dating sites - it's what dating is. Bummer for you though - glad she was honest about it.

Well, I don't know how many of you knew this, but we went to the zoo together ("Dutch"), and we talked a LOT on the phone and through the computer. We were talking of going to Lake Michigan tomorrow, but I'm betting that's off now.

Sorry to hear that, but it's all a part of the game - trying to get over a pretty nasty rejection myself right now.

However, look on the bright side - you seem to have made a tremendous amount of progress! Keep it up, it's the only way your luck is going to change...

Sounds honest enough, unless if she's making that up.

At least she's being honest about not being interested in you.

I can't imagine sending that message to every person I am talking to or was talking to before closing my account. When I met my husband, I went and took my profile off the website. People I was talking to, they had my YIM name so why tell them on there? I could tell them on YIM if we talked again and asked about it. The other men I wasn't even talking to because I wasn't interested in them so I didn't think I needed to tell them. I had different men that messaged me and only a few exchange messages and then never again so I didn't see the need to tell them I had met someone so I am taking my profile off the website. The ones I was still talking to I had on IM. Now I have lost contact with lot of them anyway and rarely talk.

Well at least she told you so you wouldn't think she played you or something or have you think you did something to scare her off.

when i was on an online dating site for a while, anyone that i talked to more seriously or thought about meeting in person was made aware if there were other people i was conversing with. so that it wouldn't be a big surprise if i picked someone else.

it really sucks that this woman didn't do you a courtesy like that. it looked quite good for this to move ahead into a relationship for you. so sorry it didn't work out.

Hyperlexian - yeah, I agree. She is hetero female and put in the OkCupid account that she was only looking for "new friends", but she only selected guys. Leads one to think that something might happen down the road. Would have been nice to know there were other almost-daters in her life since I thought I was almost-dating her.

We are still FB friends, but I don't know how long. I don't know how long I want to be FB friends with her

The nice thing about her were was that she seemed accepting of my Asperger's, OCD, Schizoaffective disorder, and even my mild case of ADD. Her son has depression, ADD, and impulsivity issues; her BFF's son has Asperger's. She and her BFF might even have OCD.

You had reservations about her, anyway, so this is just as well. Keep on looking. There's more women out there.

Well, we're still pretty good friends, maybe especially because she just got dumped by that guy. She sent me this message today:

Well I got one thing out of the way, so now I have to go do something before I lose it. Basically, the guy I was seeing, over the last week led me to believe he was very interested, and just texted me to dump me today. I made him at least call me tonight and talk to me about it and that was that! What the hell! I don't want sympathy...just letting you know. Gotta get out of here...ttyl.

Well I don't know if congratulations are in order, but I know that would make me feel better. I'm not exactly proud of it, but a little schadenfreude can be therapeutic for me sometimes.

I can't believe I have the audacity to be giving dating advice, but it seems to me you should just stay in the loop right now and see what develops - don't exploit the situation too aggressively, just be there to provide the sympathy she claims she doesn't want.

Hopefully someone with actual relationship success will chime in...

Thanks, Grisha. Plus, I learned a new word today.