Unrequited love for a friend?

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Someone (C.) I'm really close friends with, is a person I'm also in love with, but he basically rejected me this morning because he admits with AS he's asexual. Well at least it's not like he chose someone over me, because that happened when I was 17 with some stupid boy I had some immature crush on and made me feel worthless for months, and if this had happened again, I would have been miserable.

I still want to be friends, I just feel if, most likely, I could never have him it would emotionally drain me. I relate to him so much because he had a lot of insecurities I have and we've both got over a lot of these since knowing each other and I feel abandoning him would be cruel, although, and I hate being selfish, if you're in love and the otherwise close friend isn't attracted to you, it can create such a dilemma.

How have others dealt with this?

[BTW if other people in this section of the forums recognise me and my love life related posts, this is a different person I like, at least I have different options which probably makes stuff more bearable]

I'm actually dealing with it right now. Usually I just "write-off" the idea as too awkward/painful and sever all ties, but in this particular case I feel a strong non-romantic/sexual affinity that I hate to lose, so I'm trying to make the adjustment.

It won't be easy, or maybe even possible, but it's worth trying I think.

I guess my view is that if there's enough feeling there once romance is off the table, you should make the effort and let the chips fall where they may, even if it causes you more emotional pain than it would have otherwise...

Does that make any sense?

I GOT REJECTED BY AN INTIMATE, NEWLY ASEXUAL FRIEND TOO. I feel your pain sister.
For me, it was best to no longer be friends. We had a friendship bond, too, but he was growing more distant every day, and I couldn't deal with the romantic aspect.

A lot of these people might not actually be asexual, they may just choose celibacy for the time being.

This^

It seems to be a fad right now, but it's more properly described as voluntary aromanticism I think, because it goes beyond abstinence from sex.

There used to be a guy here who was actually clinically asexual and it really helped me to understand what it was.

Clinically asexual as in having no parts? What was he like?

No - he had a fully functioning set of (male) gender organs, but he was simply not sexually stimulated by the presence/thought of another human being whatsoever.

He would masturbate because it was physically pleasureable but it was not associated with any conventional erotic imagery - it was like a nice massage, nothing more.

He described the incredible isolation he felt because anything related to romance and sexuality was completely alien to him but he kept it to himself because he felt no one would understand or accept him otherwise.

It was really sad.

"Clinically asexual" makes it sound like a disease.

I think this explains asexuality pretty well. The "clinically asexual" individual does sound asexual, though he could have been interested in romance and still been asexual.

I understand how you feel, though in a different manner. I fell in love with my best friend in 11th grade, beings that I had no other friends at that point in my life. I didn't mean to, but we liked all the same things, had the same favourite characters, we even had the same favourite Pokémon for crying out loud. I realized, after about nine monthes, that she was everything I ever wanted in a girl. She was smart (for a neurotypical), nice, kind, virtuous (or so I thought), and very beautiful. I could go on and on, as we Aspies are prone to, but I'll spare you all the musy-gushy details, because, well, you'd get bored, and I don't really know you all that well anyway. Besides, they aren't all that important. Anyway, long story short, she liked jerk guys (and girls) who used her and abused her, not nice, intelligent, honest nerds like me. I tried for two years to earn her love and for two years she rejected me in favour of abusive idiots. We're both graduated from high school now and it's highly unlikely that we'll ever see each other again. We don't even talk anymore. She hates me (I'll never understand) and I pretty much hate her back. I was hurt before her, but I was willing to try again with her because I trusted her, I believed in her. Heh (rueful smile) look what that got me. I hope things go better for you than they did for me.

The girl I am interested in has a boyfriend, but we've actually become friends (I already had feelings for her before we became friends). I find that I greatly enjoy her company, so I simply hide my interest in her and try to just treat her normally.

That's exactly how I would like to handle it, but I can't help trying to let her know how I feel about her in a misguided hope that she will reciprocate - I wish I wasn't so weak in this regard...

I have done that before with another friend. I still feel bad when I think about it, so I promised myself never to do it again, and I try to put myself down the moment I even start thinking about hinting at my emotions. Sadly, I still think them, but I've probably done or said only one or two stupid inappropriate things to her over the course of the past two years. I have no idea if she suspects that I fancy her. My other friends were hugely surprised when I told them, even though I thought I was being fairly obvious about it.

Asexual =/= Aromantic