Gifted & Disabled

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At the invitation of a former colleague, I went back to visit broker-dealer I used to work at in my Wall Street days. It brought back so many memories, it was like I was back in my element - ready to grab some hotshot hedge fund manager by the ear and bend him to my will just like the old days. I'm seriously considering going back now, even though I don't really need to, just so I can feel good about myself for a change.

Then I went back home to my empty apartment and felt like an untouchable autistic freak again.

That's probably the worst thing about AS - you're just successful enough to see what life could be like, but too f*cked up to actually get there - no wonder women can't stand me...

[/whine]

Yes, it sounds like you should go back, just to build up your confidence and self esteem.

Next, I 'd suggest identifying issues that upset other people, or make it tough for you to fit in.

Finally, you might work on seeing what you can do so that those issues aren't so much of a problem anymore. The goal isn't to become an NT, but to find some compromise. For example, can't understand fashion, you might find someone to help you get age appropriate clothing. Then you can toss all the inappropriate clothing you own so you don't wear it accidentally. These changes may take tiime, but look at it this way--you are making an investment over the next few years that will really help you out over the next 30 to 40 years. You are investing in the quality of life.

It's not true that women can't stand you Grisha.

You're going through a bad time, but you'll find the right one for you. Maybe just chill a bit, don't try so hard to find someone?

You've got a lot to offer, but if you come over as desperate you won't attract them. Play it a bit cooler?

You're a lovely person Grisha, don't be so hard on yourself. Most of us here understand the difficulties you are facing.

Thank you dear

Of course you're right about the desperate thing, it's just that I felt like my recent experience was such a "close call" (even though it probably wasn't) that it re-sensitized me to what I am missing in life. It will fade with time and a conscious effort to refocus on something else.

Also , the previous post has me paranoid about my fashion sense - is there some sort of problem I don't realize?

I am neither the person to ask for fashion advice nor the person who can tell you what women think of you. But, what I've heard from you, you are fairly successful at life. An empty apartment doesn't imply that you're a freak. You seem like a nice guy. If it only takes me a couple of days of reading your posts here to come to that conclusion, then I'm sure that someone outside of WP will inevitably come to that conclusion at some point as well.

Nah, you've no problem there. You dress just fine.

Anyway, most aspie women don't care about that sort of thing. I can't speak for the NTs though.

That's OK because I want an Aspie anyway...

That is the perfect description of my life too. You are so not alone in this feeling.

Grisha, why do you think women can't stand you?

The pepper spray is a dead giveaway

Don't mind me, I'm still just butt-hurt over what happened recently, I'll get over it...

Well, okay. I'm always free to talk if you feel you need to.

Thanks dear!

BTW - looks like I'll be signing up another client in the Bay Area (Emeryville) so it's likely I'll be bugging you in person pretty soon...