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13 Aug 2011, 6:08 am
13 Aug 2011, 3:42 pm
rlb wrote:
Is it just me, or does anyone else feel as though they're just going through the motions when in a relationship?
I don't mean that I don't care deeply about, possibly even love, the person I'm with. Rather, I'm talking about doing things because they're expected and everyone else seems to do them. For instance, holding hands: I will do it but it doesn't seem to particularly mean anything to me (emotionally) if I do. I'm only doing it because it seems to be expected of me by others.
Am I alone in feeling this way?
I don't mean that I don't care deeply about, possibly even love, the person I'm with. Rather, I'm talking about doing things because they're expected and everyone else seems to do them. For instance, holding hands: I will do it but it doesn't seem to particularly mean anything to me (emotionally) if I do. I'm only doing it because it seems to be expected of me by others.
Am I alone in feeling this way?
Yeah...a lot of Aspies including myself seem to have various levels of difficulty in connecting emotionally or reading others social cues.There's a lot of things even outside of relationships that I am told I'm 'supposed' to do,but for the life of me I can't understand their significance.
But when it comes to intimacy I actually crave affection a lot.I love kissing,holding hands,hugging,eye contact etc because when I like someone I have this urge to get close to them.Due to my awkwardness with Social cues and other norms,I often feel ignored and deprived of that affection.And when I do get intimate with a girl I probably don't feel emotional sparks as strongly as some NT couples would,but the liking for affection is still there.
14 Aug 2011, 9:24 am
14 Aug 2011, 5:13 pm
blueroses wrote:
I've felt that way before.
Glad it's not just me
blueroses wrote:
I also tend to feel like I'm just going through the motions in other areas of my life, too, though, so I think it's a broader problem for me.
Definitely. I only confined the question to relationships since this is the "Love & Dating" forum.
blueroses wrote:
Often times, I'm worrying about the future or analyzing the past, so I find it hard to be present and 'live in the moment.'
Gosh! If you figure out how to stop worrying about things, will you please let me know? If I don't have anything to worry about, then I worry that I've forgotten what it is I *should* be worrying about. If that makes sense
