Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

47x
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 Aug 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 223

18 Aug 2011, 12:52 pm

So hi, I've had a boyfriend now for about some time and he haven't yet met my parents. To some people this might not be a be problem, but for me it is. It's not that I'm ashamed of either one really. I just worry about how to, well, act. Should I try to create discussions or something to talk about. And what if they don't go well together. I don't really know why I worry so much how I should behave, I think that it could have something to do with the fact that I've never brought someone home before. I'm 23 so..yeah. And I'm anxious what he'll think and what my parents'll think. I could go on like this forever.



AsteroidNap
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jun 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 601
Location: Santa Monica, CA

18 Aug 2011, 1:21 pm

I would just say don't make it ABOUT meeting the parents. Make it an event in and of itself. For example the first (and only ;) ) time I've gone through this, I brought my gf of 1 month home to go sledding on the family farm. My dad surprised me by preparing a 'sled run' using the family's big tractor on the steep hill we used for sledding when I was a kid. I remember it was super fun because the tire tracks acted like a bobsled track. My gf at the time was from Arizona and had never experienced the fun one can have with snow. We all had a great time, laughing and such.

So, yeah. Making it about something else takes the pressure off, allows the significant other to feel less pressure and be themselves, which is better at showing the parents why you like this person in the first place.



47x
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 Aug 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 223

19 Aug 2011, 3:19 am

Thank you so much :) That is a really good idea, now I just have to find something that's worth doing..but I'll figure it out. Thanks again.



Melpomene
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 119
Location: Veldhoven, The Netherlands

19 Aug 2011, 5:23 am

Everyone involved is probably nervous - I always was whenever I got introduced to 'the parents' or vice versa. The most comfortable situations were those in which we weren't just sitting around staring at each other, trying to keep a discussion going, but rather when something else was going on (dinner, for instance). It gives everyone an extra distraction so silences don't seem so long and there's always something to talk about. Also, when the activity is finished, there's an automatic 'out', without having to awkwardly wait for somebody to say something like, "Well, we should be going...". Try to be yourself as much as possible, don't force behaviour. Your boyfriend likes you for who you are, try to keep that in mind and you should feel a bit better. Good luck! :wink:



MissDorkness
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 903
Location: Missouri

19 Aug 2011, 12:30 pm

47x wrote:
Thank you so much :) That is a really good idea, now I just have to find something that's worth doing..but I'll figure it out. Thanks again.
I agree with everyone else. I always made the mistake of having 'the introduction' be the event. AWKWARD.

My Sister recently started dating someone new and decided to put off introducing us all until our family had scheduled a bowling day. My Grandpa bowls regularly, so we've tried to build a regular gathering around meeting up with him. He's not always chatty himself, but, he's good for some bowling advice and laughing with us when we mess up.
It was a much lighter way to ease the guy in and get everyone used to each other.

In fact, I can say with some certainty that I was the only one causing awkward moments during that time.

My sister was trying to encourage me to have some chit chat with him because, evidently, we hung out with the same group of weirdos back in college. I don't remember names, and I seldom remember faces outside of their original contexts, so I stumbled through that conversation quite badly and really pleased my husband by finally ending the convo with "I'm sorry, but, I just don't remember anyone unless I went out on a date with them" and my sister chimed in with "that would still mean you remembered quite a few." :oops: