I don't know if I'm cut out for a relationship...

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Sirunus
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17 Aug 2011, 3:50 pm

However, that's not to say I don't want a relationship. But I can't give what most self-respecting women are looking for in a partner and they know that. I'm not cut out for the "modern woman" just how I'm not cut out for the modern job market not matter how much I try and fit in. If you don't have the right connections and networking, you'll never meet the right woman, and that requires good social skills and a lot of self-confidence. I wish I wasn't so oblivious to everything going on around me in social situations, but now uni is over it feels like I've missed my chance to meet the right woman forever as now it'll be extremely difficult to meet new people except for perhaps at work. But you know what people say about that, "don't sh*t where you eat."



AsteroidNap
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18 Aug 2011, 5:52 am

I would say this: Don't make that decision for women. Let them make that determination. When I was younger, I would have a similar thought process...deciding, a priori, that this woman or that woman wouldn't go out with me, whilst knowing NOTHING about them.

But I came to realize that one simply doesn't know what an individual might or might not want...and shouldn't make that decision for any woman. Let them make that determination on their own; and while she's making that determination, you are also deciding whether she's right for you.

You said yourself you're not sure if you're cut out for relationships. Clearly, then, you don't have enough experience to make that determination. There's a lot of life outside of University. Join clubs, board game groups (if that's your thing), other activities. Volunteer (met a few great friends this way). Or perhaps heading back to University for an advanced degree?

The worse thing to do is hole up, in my opinion. I fall into this trap myself when things are bleak. It starts a very detrimental spiral that's tough to break out of. That's why outside activities are so important to me.



SadAspy
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18 Aug 2011, 9:40 am

If you're a heterosexual man in the West, then yeah you're probably not cut out for a relationship. Keep your sanity and don't even attempt to talk to women.



hurtloam
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18 Aug 2011, 11:02 am

Don't despair, not all women are like "the modern woman". Try some outdoorsy activities, or activities involving animals, or art clubs or something quirky, that way you'll meet un-ordinary women.



MissDorkness
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18 Aug 2011, 12:22 pm

Sirunus wrote:
it'll be extremely difficult to meet new people except for perhaps at work. But you know what people say about that, "don't sh*t where you eat."
I could not agree with you more about not trying to date people you work with.

BUT, I wouldn't say give up on meeting people 'through' work.

I work in the design field, so I meet people from other companies who do similar work, I've joined a trade organization for designers and go to meetings to get tips and tricks... it's breaking the ice and finding that commonality that is difficult for me, but, going to professionally geared events ensures that I will have at least something in common with everyone there.

The last four guys I've been romantically involved with have all been folks I've met through my industry, but, outside of my company.

There are obviously communities for just about everything... database administrators, gardeners, architects, accountants, spec-writers... I'd say there should be similar options for a ton of industries.

Good luck.