Should I be concerned that I can't truthfully really say....

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That I know how it feels to love someone else;whether it be family,friends, or the occasional romantic partner.
Can I be very fond of someone,have fun with them,cry and feel extreme sadness if they die or get hurt....Of course!

But as Creepy or odd as it may sound,at 27 years of age I cannot conclusively say I have ever truly loved anyone.
Maybe I did as a child when my feeling seemed to be a lot more fluid.But now all that seems to be there is a sort of emotional numbness,aside being hyper actively angry or sad at times.

And it's not like I want to be this way believe me.No one would want to have social graces more than me.It's just that it's...not there.Best way I can describe it.

I love people, but I've never been loved back (except by my friends and family.) I've certainly never felt a romantic love.

That's probably why I'm so depressed all the time.

Ouch..it sounds like you have some of the same problems I do.
I am truly sorry to hear that man.I do understand affection somewhat,and I know trying to give it to a person who doesn't reciprocate is a horrible feeling indeed.It's tough..but I really do think that with my few friends and family I will be able to make it through.I have THOUGHT I felt romantic love before,but in all likeliness it was just lust.Even NT's confuse them all the time.

Love is something you do, not something you feel. If you're waiting for that starry-eyed fuzzy-head butterfly-tummy woozy dizzy sparkley moment where someone turns your world upside down the minute s/he walks in the room... you aint ever gonna be in love.

Love is an action. It is a decision to be devoted to another. How do you make this decision? Most people make this decision based on physical and mental compatibility with another person. There's attraction, similar beliefs and opinions and similar life goals. You may have met several individuals like this or you may not have met anyone who completely suits you that would justify the devotion and commitment required in loving them.

But, take the pressure off yourself. This is no such thing as a magical soulmate that will sweep you off your feet and you'll be perfect for each in every way as you live happily ever after. Relationships take devotion and commitment. Individuals have to keep their promises, show respect and kindness and, at times, self-sacrifice for the other. If the individuals are xsexual, they'll want to enjoy physical affection with each other, from holding hands to sex. And attraction (both physical and mental) may wane from time to time, but it also returns. Some people bolt the moment they no longer feel physically attracted to their partner or the moment one of them decides to change direction and set a life goal the other isn't onboard with. There's a lack of compromise in those situations and the people just are not loving each other. They've based their relationship on subjective things that change, as opposed to commitment to each other through a constantly changing world. People might as well spend their time chasing unicorns.

You'll love someone when you decide to love someone. Just exercise good judgment in who that person is.

wefunction, that's a rather pessimistic and cynical, perhaps pragmatic is the better word, view, but I fear you are right.

I will add that I am in the same boat as the OP, I don't think I have ever "felt love" for anyone, well at this point in time at least, I might have thought otherwise before, I can't honestly say.... It is hard to say, because I think we can only look at things for our current state of mind.

If one is unhappy or depressed, they would perhaps ignore what they have or have not felt (and thought) in the past. Memory is a very subjective... Someone once said to me "You don't usually remember the good times, but it is impossible to forget the bad times", I believe this to be true. There are a great deal of things we take for granted.

My 2c.

This may or be of interest to some: It appears can't post links yet, so just look in wikipedia under "Love Styles".

A care giver goes about performing specific tasks, should this be considered love. They are actions which seem to fall in the category of caring and devotion but they can have no emotion because it is their job.

Actions with feelings of fondness and or affection and not feel it is a duty I would consider that as love.

I love my car. I am doing nothing but saying it. Feeling strongly devoted to something that doesn't have feelings to begin with but I don't care. I love my computer too.

Love is subjective whether it be doing, thinking, and and or feeling. Let us not dismiss those who have different views or ideas merely because they do not mirror our own.

I don't think wefunction is talking about loving your car or your computer.

If we're talking about love between a man and a woman, or whatever combination you prefer, then I too believe that love is an active response, not just a vague feeling. There are definitely feelings and emotions involved, but if the love isn't actively engaged by both partners, then it dies. I also believe it has to be returned in order to be sustained ... so-called unrequited love is a false love.

Obviously, but why should that be seen as any less. The OP was wandering about if they truly feel love. If you can love things than you should also be able to develop healthy relationships with people and gradually react in actions of caring and devotion.

Indeed. If you can make a commitment of devotion and self-sacrifice to your computer, that would be love. Unfortunately, your computer is not capable of making such a commitment in return so that would be very self-destructive and one-sided, barring on something between madness and obsession, rather than a healthy equitable relationship where love can be a functional and productive act.

I don't view this as pessimistic. Pragmatic... I can't really argue that. But I found the viewpoint liberating, rather than dream-killing. I'm a Christian (an Episcopalian) so, I mean, I believe in things that others consider to be unicorns, but in all that I believe, the concept of soulmates never sat right with me. I do believe we have souls in a real Christian context where we have eternal life in the afterlife, but that there is one person out there that suits you perfectly in every one... just one... in this entire world... what if he gets hit by a bus? what if something traumatic happens that changes his personality so that he's no longer perfect for me... then I have no soulmate! The whole idea is too much like predestination, which I think is hogwash.

That sweet old couple that's been married for 75 years have managed it because they made the commitment to love each other. There were likely times when they wanted to murder each other, but they administered a hefty amount of patience, continued to act lovingly, and exercised forgiveness until they got through the rough patch. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination but it's inspirational to think that any of us could have that same thing. They don't have it because it was meant to be. They have it because they made it be. There is no magical element to it. It's just commitment between two people to love, honor and cherish.

mine says that I am generous and sweet and treat him wondefully... and that he is happy when spending time with me, going out, and having deep discussions about nuclear science. He told me the same thing, that he can't feel "love" like that. I told him that IS love.

You think so? I actually think it's a very beautiful definition of love. It is at the very least something I can understand and do, and thus know when I truly love someone.

Then may I ask what is the point of the fuzzy in love feeling? I don't want a relationship without that. What if I commit to a good man, say he's the right age, not living on the other side of the world, is available, has a good personailty, is kind, caring, interesting, but I don't feel the spark, the dizzy in love feeling. Why should I commit to him? I know he will stand by me, I know he cares about me, I know that we get on well as friends. I am as well staying friends with him and wait until I meet someone again who makes me feel the happy, dizzy endorphin rush. I had someone like that, but it never developed into a relationship, there were too many logical variables against us. I reget that now, I wish I had been reckless and illogical. I care about him.

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Totally agree. I don't like the idea that we are pre-destined to be with one person. It is up to us find someone for ourselves. there may be more than one person with whom we are compatible, but I don't think that minimises the need for the "in love" feeling. The feeling like "we are soul-mates".

When I was younger I felt that anyone could make a marriage/relationship work with another person as long as they showed agape love, were peaceful, had self-control, were long-suffering, etc Treated each other with respect, worked hard at the relationship, that it would only work well, as long as both parties were invested in and commited to the relationship. Actually, I still think that's true to a certain extent and I accept that emotions wax and wane and that you've got to work through the rough patches, not walk away. People in love don't magically agree on everything. It's how you cope with the times you disagree that is the most important.

But now that I've grown older I have had the "in love" feeling happen a few times, but it's never developed into a relationship for various reasons, mostly the guy rejects me, other times it was the age gap, the differences in lifestyles, the location (australia is a long way from here). I still want that feeling, the feeling that me and him belong together. The totally lost in the other person, drowning, happy feeling.

Hope that makes some sense.

Everything in your comment makes sense, hurtloam. To address the above question, I didn't mean to imply that the endorphin rush wasn't important or possible. I just meant to say that it isn't the end-all be-all and should not be the reason to establish a relationship or, more importantly, walk away from one if that feeling should wane. That is not a definition of love. That's lust. And there's nothing wrong with lust.

As meandering as it can be to do so, I'll delve into personal anecdote to help articulate my point: My husband continues to take my breath away. He has a lot of physical qualities both aesthetically and in his presence that turn me on. I also know he's very turned on by me. There's just something different with how touch feels to us, like there's electricity. This is a physical thing. It's hormonal. We're physically compatible and that's great. Having been with him for seven years, there have already been times when I wasn't swooning over him. In fact, I was very annoyed by him. I expect that he has also had phases of not liking me very much because it'd be unrealistic not to consider it. But we just continue to love each other. We don't fake anything, but we continued to treat each other with respect and kindness. This is how we've interpreted our vows. Just as the attraction wanes, it always comes back so it's just a matter of not ruining a good thing because your hormones get an itch to look for some strange.

Perhaps you haven't met or gotten close to the rite person to fall in love OP. I never felt love or was aware that I could feel love for anyone till I had gotten really close to my ex 8 years ago. I was kind of closed off to those feelings before but those feelings came flooding out of me after a while

Maybe you have schizoid personality disorder.

I don't know what to call it but I had a strong connection to a person that i feel like i could tell anything to and had no regret at the time, i kinda do now only because she has used it against me and i feel like an idiot for it other then that i feel something that can't be explained while i was with her. Every problem goes away and you just have this awesome feeling. maybe the love drug got me, but i never felt that way with anyone else. so yeah idk.