Aspie Friend/bf is being dishonest

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After 5 and a half months, I am seriously beginning to feel like disabling my bell and not answering anymore when he comes round.
He is a 52 year old man, but at times, it is as if he is 5 years old emotionally and it is driving me bonkers. And this is coming from someone who is Aspie themselves.
I use a nicotine inhaler as I stopped smoking for health reasons some years ago.
Twice now, I have left it by my laptop in the living room while I went to the bathroom, and twice I have come back and it has been gone.
I am aspie myself, and losing things or, knowing something was there and finding it gone, drives me to immediate meltdown mode.
Last time, it didn't turn up again, and he feigned ignorance and started looking for it. Tonight, he called me in when I was looking for it, and magically it had appeared on the floor, and was not there before.

I have taken to weighing myself recently, daily, and keep the weight tickets in the kitchen. I have lost a few pounds.
Tonight I went in the kitchen to find the tickets had been blackened. I tested on the cooker to see if that was the cause and it was.
When I commented on them, he just said 'everyone always blamed Stephen'. I mean, seriously, wth am I supposed to do?
How can you trust someone who does something then lies about it.

It might seem small, but lies really , really bug me.
Why couldn't he just tell me if he has a problem with me checking my weight or using my nicotine inhaler ? He smokes himself anyway.
It is making me very paranoid that he does these things then lies when I get upset about them and asks me why I am 'in a huff'.

How can someone of 52 be so bloody childish and seemingly have the emotions of a kid or below?
For someone who is always harking on about justice, and about the state of the world, and murders, and cheating spouses and the like, I find it really hypocritical that he hides my nicotine and burns my weight tickets then doesn't even admit to having done it.
I have not outright asked him if he burnt the tickets, or asked him why he lied etc, as I feel sure it would cause him to react badly.
What can I do ?

Does anyone have any insight as to why on earth he feels the need to damage my weight tickets and hide my nicotine inhaler?

Buy a mini spy camera.

I believe he really cares about you.

He's just not showing it in the right way.

And all humans lie at times, remember that.

Well, I don't think this should be major, you just need to ask him nicely to explain himself.

Because he's passive aggressive or avoidant.

He is either upset at you for some reason and is afraid to just tell you, or doesn't like that you use a nicotine inhaler and are watching your weight for some reason, and is afraid to just tell you. It could be that he worries about your health, it could be that he doesn't want you thinner because he is worried other men will be attracted to you, it could be he just likes your weight how it is.

Either way these people usually make relationships impossible because they ultimately leave their partner feeling paranoid and like they can't trust the perpetrator to be open and honest with them, and this mistrust is justified for obvious reasons.

If you grill him about it enough or catch him on camera and confront him you will probably get the truth out of him but I'm skeptical someone so old would change their ways permanently.

And you know those of us with AS usually need people to just be up front with us.

Graelwyn, what more advice do you need?!

The guy is a twat. Kick his twattish arse to the gravel.

Chronos - he is or used to be very direct, but to a point where he upset me.
Now he is not direct it seems, and has gone the other direction.
He has always claimed he doesn't care etc, and that he believes in letting people just live their own lives.
It is true,he knows I used to be anorexic and he knows I have lost weight the last few days, but he isn't eating himself much at the moment either.
Part of me is very angry and paranoid, worrying he is doing these things to mess with my head.
Another part is wondering if he is annoyed I am obsessive over my weight, and couldn't tell me,.
He surely must have realised I would know what he had done when I saw the bloody tickets.

But it is always 'everyone blames Stephen, it is always Stephen's fault'.

That is his genuine response when I attempt to mention the missing nicotine and tonight, when I asked what had happened to my weight tickets.
Then he goes home because I get silent and annoyed at it.

Face Of Boo - Yes, perhaps it is because he cares, but it is hard for me to see it that way as I get very paranoid and upset when people lie, as it plays tricks with my head and makes me think they are deliberately trying to mess with me. That, and what if he does something to my laptop, because he sees computers as being bad lol ?

My nicotine only magically reappeared when he heard me muttering and wandering from room to room hunting for it.

Now, I'd understand if it was cigarettes or tobacco but the whole aim of the thing is to keep me from damaging my lungs with smoking.

When it last 'disappeared', and I told him it was missing, he just told me 'you're addicted to it'.

If someone cares, I would sooner they tell me so, or speak their concerns than do childish things like this,
He is 52 ffs, and intelligent, my mind cannot make sense of how he could think I wouldn't realise he had done these things.

Alas, I can't simply let it go and ignore it and carry on, as it plays on my mind and makes me build up a lot of anger and mistrust.

I now don't know whether to just not let him in for a few days, or to ask him outright or to just ignore it and keep my tickets and nicotine in my pockets at all times, lmao, like youd have to hide things from a kid.