BECOMING INTIMATE WITH YOUR MAN

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I always was curious how long should wait before having sex with your man. My guess is more than a month but less than a year. I definitely don't want to have sex on the first date. I want to respect myself enough to wait. I think that is the classy way of doing it. Before i even think about sex i need to get to know him as a person. I wouldn't mind going on various dates and being comfortable around him. I need to be able to talk about anything easily with him like condoms, birth control and condoms before anything happens. Once we talk and mutually agree to have sex and when we want it then all right. Until that day it is hugging and kissing.

You seem to already know the answer. I wouldn't put time constraints on these things. It depends how quickly you get to know eachother and how soon you feel comfortable enough with him. I think that you should just wait until you feel ready.

I agree with Karenina.

Since this is a thread and you seem to be seeking advice, then I shall offer my imput. I'm far from an expert on dating, but here's my thought: most men, especially NT (though perhaps some AS too, not really sure) are hungry for sex. Perhaps I am demeaning my own gender, but I've seen it many times. Men pretend to love women long enough to get sex, and then dump them for someone else after they get what they want. I've know guys that will wait about a year to get in bed with someone, do the deed, and then find someone else when they're done. If they don't want to wait that long, then they'll either deem you not worth it and dump you earlier, or they'll deceive you and cheat on you while they wait for you, and THEN leave you. Which is the second is probably the worse of the two by far. So, my advice. I will admit it's biased. If a man will not keep his sexual desires under control until he marries you, than it's much more likely that he'll leave you. Men consider waiting for sex a sacrifice and men will sacrifice for someone they genuienely love, and someone who genuienely loves you is a lot less likely to leave you lonely. Of course, there is the 50% that he could divorce you anyway, but even that's higher than if he were not married to you in the first place. As I said, I am biased in this matter because I'm a hard-core, pro-abstinancy Catholic, but regardless of what you believe, I'd hate for you to get hurt and/or disappointed. Then again, it all comes down to what you want. Do you want a life partner, or would you rather 'play the field' (which I would not reccommend, but I'm biased)? Do you want sex (satisfaction of a physical desire) or to make love (satisfaction of physical, emotional, and spiritual desires? I offered you my advice. I leave the rest up to you. Good luck.

Why not discuss this with the man? Tell him your expectations and find out about his.

Abstinence has a side effect of not knowing how much intimacy the other person wants.

People are different. Some want sex many times a day, and some once a month or not even that often.

I think it would be a good idea of sorting these things out very early in the relationship. Otherwise, at least one of you might end up being very frustrated.

Earlyish imo, so you can test how physically compatable you are.

in my mind there is no time window that it is alright to, it's a matter of when both you and your sexual partner want to.

I WANT TO BECOME INTIMATE WITH PIGLET......

Wait, that's not right....

My advice would be just to ease into it, its not simply hug, kiss, intercourse. Likewise without saying anything more there is more then just intercourse to sex. You could work your way up bit by bit, determining how comfortable you feel, how he responds, etc. It keeps him knowing its on your mind, that it will eventually happen, etc without you having to just do it one day. Likewise don't set a date or make a space shuttle type of expectation, just determine when you are close to being comfortable to go that far and pencil in that it might happen over the next week, month, whatever.

Also don't bring up birth control suddenly while being intimate, pick a moment where he's at his relatively least interested in sex to discuss it so you are dealing with him at his most rational.

I really hope you are not waiting for an AS male to be comfortable talking about birth control. haha....... that could be after you're in menopause.

It seems simple to me: When you won't regret it no matter what happens.