playing it safe to broaden your dating base

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i would think that "playing it safe", concealing things about oneself that may not appeal to everyone, making oneself seem more well-rounded than they are, or pretending (in any way, shape, form, or degree) to be something your not is bad. i would think it would result in more dates, but more inevitable dead ends as well.

i suspect in everything, the more broad you are, the less concentrated you are. a person with a passion, belief, or trait of X, may prefer someone else with a lot of X, rather than someone with a little bit of X and a little bit of Y who can initially please everyone.

correct me if i am wrong. your thoughts?

I like to accentuate the things that make me what I am

This is called "casting a wide net". I'm not going to speak to the morality of it (my personal views are my own), but like with fishing, you often pull up things that may be edible yet completely unpalatable.

There's a difference between lying about yourself, which is always a mistake (so much to keep track of!) and simply not mentioning something. It's a little better now as Asperger's is almost trendy these days, but even now there's a tendency for the norms to recoil if you say you're autistic. It's like saying "oh, by the way, I have leprosy."

My general policy is not to mention awkward topics unless I have to. I don't lie, in large part because I am a terrible liar, but I'll avoid talking about it if I can. If directly asked, I'll answer truthfully. I know full well that if I were totally honest, I'd still be a virgin, be living with my mother and claiming some form of benefits. My job, my relationship, my entire life has come from hiding those facets of me that don't go well with society at large.

This is how society functions. We cooperate not because we work together but because we suppress our urge to fight.

i think omitting important things is very close to lying.

there are a lot of aspects to a person, and if you conceal too many things, then you are making yourself out to be someone you aren't, even if you never told a lie the whole date, imo.

lets say if a woman is interested in broadway plays a lot, and you don't like them, but get into it just to please her. eventually its going to catch up to you. and you'd be in a relationship bored having to go to a play every other week.

if a woman is a socialist, and you are staunch conservative, and you act as a moderate, you are broadening your base. but eventually, she will have to find out, and if its a problem with her then you wasted all that time, and you also reduced your base of conservatives who would have truly connected with you.

some people love someone who is absolutely hilarious. and if you are a funny person, and are holding back on your humor just to appeal to more people right away, i dont think it will last.

i would think that appealing to more people, by concealing your passions or what some would consider flaws

so i say quality over quantity.

i would not tell a person i have aspergers or i was born with autism on the first date, as they would make assumptions or have misunderstandings about me which are far beyond what i have,

i think if the other person cannot tell that i was born with autism, then consequentially, they don't need to know. in a relationship, yes, but not on the first date.

Lies by omission. Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with gradually revealing yourself to someone as long as it's done properly. There is such thing as overwhelming someone with too much of yourself at once.

Keeping things from someone you're supposedly close to, though, is very hurtful and causes a lot of problems.

my overall point is that facades and gimmicks are always short-lived.

I used to believe casting a wider net was the way to go...but what I realized is that I did this because I didn't know myself very well, or accept who I was. I would become attracted to all the wrong women...it wasn't until I started using the preciseness of a fly fisherman that I started to have more success (and by success, I mean at least mutual interest if not dating or relationships).

For me, this involved flaunting my geekiness, embracing it, doing geeky/nerdy things. One simple thing I do now is wear geeky t-shirts that are like the Cardinal's red plumage to female geeks. I've lost count of the number of conversations that girls have initiated with me because of a geeky t-shirt I'm wearing. This never happened when I cast a broader net. But you can't just wear any shirt...you have to know the subject behind it. Anyway, that's just one example.

Your mileage may vary.

Asteroid Nap expressed my point very well.

By not wearing "nerdy" t-shirts he is restricting himself from "nerdy" women who would appreciate his interests, and superficially broadening his base to people who he may not even connect with.

I believe in being who you are meant to be, to the best of your ability. All kinds of benefits are attached, but one is that you attract people who are right for you. 'Know thyself'. Then you'll know who's right and who's wrong on an intuitive level. Also, you don't spend all your time thinking about chasing another half, you can get on with self actualisation, or playing video games

I don't dig this pot luck style, date everyone and hope someone decent shakes out of it business.

You could also try my 'astro dating machine'