Getting a girlfriend for the first time.

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Hi, I am a 16 year old male from Pittsburgh PA. I have never had a girlfriend in my entire life, nor kissed a member of the opposite sex. I'm 99% sure i have aspergers and i officially have ADHD. I really want some tips from fellow aspies about how you manage. I am great looking, but I'm afraid of getting my picture taken. Some of my interests include computers, hacking, IT, programming. I started to really want a girlfriend when i was about 11 and ever since i have been depressed due to the fact that I'm mentally unable to socialize with girls.

-Thanks

only 16? dont worry; even though it might look like it, only a small majority of people, including NT, have a girlfriend at that stage in life.

11 years old does sound a bit early to be wanting a girlfriend in my ears, i only started getting interested at around 20, but most of my 'friends', mostly NT, didn't start dating before their 20's either, if at all at this point; all at about my age

A girlfriend should be something you want, not something you need.

You only 16 and that is still very young. I'm almost 25.5 and never had a girfriend.

NT girl here, so maybe I shouldn't post, but I want to put in one piece of advice: don't seem desperate. Even if you are, don't give off that impression.

Let's say you ask a girl out and she says "no". So you move on and ask another girl out the next day. If she knows you already tried with someone else (and if they're friends, she will almost certainly know), she will consider herself your second choice, which is insulting. Desperation makes people think, "Do they really want me, or just a girlfriend?" and if it's hard to tell whether someone really likes you, or just likes that you're female and possibly willing, that's a huge, huge turnoff.

Focus on one girl at a time and make her feel special: that's my advice.

Seriously, don't worry.

I was a late starter myself, but it happened.

Despite what others may tell you, looks count, seriously.

You'll have no problem. Trust me, I've been through the same.

Just be yourself and don't change that. Reliability has many different interpretations. The main one is consistency in character.

My friends' exes lined up for me. That was good looks (narcissism maybe) and dependability.

It's different for everyone, you have your thing like I had mine. Just know even an undiagnosed aspie with no help could do it.

You can do the same, if not better. May Crom give you strength.

No you're not, you just think you are. Everyone is mentally capable to socialize with girls, you just have to put yourself out there

(P.S. I've never had a gf either though )

Thank you, this advice helped me boost my confidence a bit. What sucks though is that I've gone to the same school district all of my life and as they say, the first impression is always the most important. Basically, I was branded as the weirdest kid in my grade and to this day people still talk about my previous actions. I was very hyper and I did not have a similar train of thought to everyone else. It is especially hard for me to get a girl to like me because they all know that I'm weird. I can honestly say that I'm the only aspie in my school.

Well then you want to practice further afield. Don't waste time where people don't like you. Girls from another school, a non-school activity, etc. The sooner you start talking to women, the sooner the rest will follow. Take small steps starting at your age and you'll be ahead of many of the men who post here sooner than you think.

You don't get a girlfriend like you get a computer or a car.

A girlfriend is a person with whom you have developed a relationship.

Yeah at least someone on forums has the balls(ovaries?) to tell the truth. Looks matter. ALOT. Which is one of the main reasons I been rejected by so many girls/women. My face looks like s**t, I'm too poor to afford clothing. I've been teased about how ugly I am since I was a tween, by males and females.

That's why I get so mad with jealousy when I see girls talking about how "cute" a guy is. f**k that s**t. A girl has never called me "cute". Then I have to watch the "cute" guys get just about any girl they want, while I can't even get a girl to friggin' talk to me.

Big +1 on that!

Well.. if you just want to have fun, okay, maybe you can just go get one... But if you want a real relationship you'll want to just make really good friends, and if it develops into something more, you'll (hopefully) know.

Something you should be aware of: school eventually ends, and after that, nobody will care what kind of reputation you used to have in high school. Also, you aren't required to bag a girlfriend by the end of school. There isn't a deadline here.

There's nothing wrong with looking for a girlfriend, just don't worry about it if you don't succeed.

28 here and never had a girlfriend. Probably been rejected over 100 times now. I wouldn't start panicking yet.

It's not a race. 16 is pretty young to start, even if it looks like everyone else has they haven't.

are you looking for a long term love relationship? You may want to wait for that.

Any AS ppl on here who met the love of their life (and are still with them) before the age of 18? Just curious.

Edit: I'm looking more for males perspective/experience, but females can weigh in as well.