is it being too "nice" to explain why ur breaking

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Zinnel
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08 Sep 2011, 1:43 am

i recently had broken up with this amazing girl

in short i made mistakes(complusiveness, inconsestant confitdence, etc.) all things im working on, she constantly threated me and i became so stressed out over it i said enough is enough and said we should go our separate ways, and said goodbye and take care
she replied with "ok"

a day passed and my best friend which i had met her through said she was asking "what was going on?"
i told him that he doesnt need to be brought into this and if she wants answers she can talk to me

so she texted me and i thought for a moment and decide to call her and tell her y i was breaking up with her
she lashed back at me "saying she as her own s**t to take care of" i was polite the whole time(even told her how i still saw her as a great women) but said that while i hav made misstakes i intend to improve myself knowing what i did wrong and until u seem t feel the same way about urself it best if i moved on, goodbye

anyway my question is for future reference was giving her an explaintion a good thing or would it hav been wiser to just leave it be?



hale_bopp
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08 Sep 2011, 1:58 am

Well, I guess it was a good thing. It's done now.. from what I see you didn't do anything bad.



Chronos
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08 Sep 2011, 5:54 am

I feel that whether one should tell a person the reason for ending the relationship depends on the situation.

Most of the time, if the other person asks why, I think it's appropriate to tell them as they did indicate they want to know.

Sometimes it's a reason that can actually be addressed and letting the other person know the issue you have with them can save the relationships. For example, a habit the individual has that they don't think much of but is a deal breaker for you.

But then there are times where telling the person why you are breaking up amounts to a list of all of the many little things that annoy you about the person, and I feel reading that list off should generally be refrained from as it's ultimately not conductive to anything positive and can be summed up as "I just think we're not meant for each other" or some other expression of incompatibility.