Bad Female Online Dating Profiles

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First of all, this is not intended to be a one-sided misogynistic rant. There are many good female profiles as well as many bad male profiles (the latter of which I have not explored).

I browsed through 50 profiles, and many of the "bad" ones (which attract the wrong kind of guys and would probably repel many guys) had numerous traits in common.

1. Bad Photo. A promiscuous photo will attract messages from perverts and would repel responses from people who want someones sexuality reserved for them later in the relationship rather than on display for everybody. We all know the camera tricks that enlarge a woman's breasts and reduce their face fat. Or using a photo that does not show what they would like like in person. The problem wasn't at all that the women were unattractive in their photos. It was that they were not being themselves.

2. Doesn't say much. Some profiles are only a few sentences or under a few paragraph. And those sentences will just be typical things such as "I work/study at", "My favorite bands are...", "I'm funny, interesting, and a loving person". Anyone can say good things about themselves, but better to show those qualities in writing something unique. And does it matter that your favorite band is the Rolling Stones? They seemed like interesting people, but I didn't reply to them because I just did not have much to say. Some women on their profiles complain they get too many generic messages, but their profiles are too generic, so what else is a guy to do. If a woman really wants a quality message, they shouldn't rely on their photo album alone.

3. Too negative. Some women make a huge laundry list of things they don't want.

But I've seen some profiles which are very unique, that start out with an opening that stands out from the crowd, that contain a lot of humor/jokes, that describe their passions in detail, includes specifics that will attract men who are exactly like them rather than playing it safe, their philosophy/views on life, etc.

A profile only says a limited amount of things about a person. Unfortunately, in online dating, an interesting attractive person may not get many messages because of a bad profile.

Well these are actually quite earnest rather than anything. Not wanting to look too promiscuous I think would come across more of a shock having come from a man than misogyny.

Am I the only person with a problem with online dating? I have a problem with any kind of dating, but COME ON, the other person could be completely lying about themselves and actually be a completely evil serial-rapist who pours acid into his victim's eyes so they'll never be able to report him! Or he could just be a total loser...

I've used online dating and I always make it a point to take my own vehicle, and meet in a public place each time until I feel that I know the person well enough that he's not a criminal or a creep. I never have too much to drink either, and don't leave my drinks unattended while I go to the bathroom. None of this is an absolute guarantee, I recognize, but there are things one can do to minimize the chances of being victimized.

Regarding the OP's post, it works the same way with male profiles. They are often very vague and don't say a lot about who a person is, and too many don't have a picture. I'm not necessarily looking for a super-physically attractive guy, but I would want to know what someone looks like before I met him.

~Kate

Well, yea...once i compared local guy profiles with girls profiles on okcupid (which are not many any time) , and I noticed that men write more stuff and more details unlike to what I expected.

Female profiles were more generic and had more photos.

some concrete male examples

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/rirxe

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Hopeless18

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/behnamie?cf=regular

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/eliechahine?cf=regular

females:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/lifesight?cf=regular

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/aw_angy

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Mareluce?cf=regular --> I am hating the caps.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/simaaa?cf=regular

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/DialaHalwagy

you get the idea...

All those are public profiles on okc, so I am violating no one's privacy , they're there to be viewed.



I bet that most of those guys started their profiles small ( and yes, I noticed that guys often make more adjustments on their profiles, girls often change change their pics) then they started to develop it more and more, they might even go to some forum and consult others, you need to check Jono's thread on this board and check the impressive amount of effort he invested in his profile, but what does forcing those guys to improve and constantly develop their profiles?


The truth about this disparity is not gender-related ,not at all, it's more need-related.

There's an old Arab proverb says "The need is the mother of invention" , which means that the need is what 'creates' or lead to the invention.

Why else do you think the greatest civilizations have emerged from harsh lands like deserts and areas with very harsh winters? Because of lack of food which creates that need to find ways to make more food: agriculture, which is the first requirement for civilization. Think of the Sumerians (desert, first civilization ever), Egypt (desert), Japan (earthquakes, tsunamis, mountains, lack of plains), of Europe (harsh winters and eras of lesser ice ages...), Russia ....etc

That's why native Americans , Amazonians and many African tribes never developed agriculture because they lived in areas where food and water was easily accessible (hunting from the forest) and available during the year. Hell, probably a climate change that forced humans to leave Africa after all, again... the keyword is the need.


There's much less demand on guys on online dating due to ratio imbalance (and that's true even on okcupid which claims to have a 1:1 ratio because a hella lots of women there go there for quizzes and not dating), so more competition between guys , so more need to improve the profile. Girls on okc, don't need to do that, they'll receive plenty of messages anyways, they would only add later "don't message me if..." list for better filtering, but not more.

So OP, you can preach what you're saying day and night, but nothing will change, if there's no need for this change.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 07 Sep 2011, 4:41 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I think this applies equally to male profiles too.

I HATE online dating, just being reminded of it irritates me (but that's just me - if it works for others, that's great)

The thing I would add to your list is people who list every book/band/film/whatever that they have ever seen as being "favorites" - some of them go on forever - why? WHY?!

Because some of us are indecisive bints Grish.

But it's not going to get you in trouble if you miss one - can't they just select a representative sample? That's what I used to do.

You wouldn't believe the length of some of the one's I've read...

My experience of dating websites suggests that 99% of female profiles follow a very similar forumula. Either they are all copying each other, or they all know instinctively how to present the same blandness to the world.

Maybe they like to give a fully rounded impression of themselves? I dunno.

Is it possible to give too much info?
Wouldn't you rather know in advance that their 57th favourite film is She-Ra - Princess of Power: The Menopause Years?

You don't need to read it love.

Face of Boo makes a good point. Women have more photos, but far less words in their profile.

Many women, especially at a younger age, just go just to see how many messages they can get, or for the quizzes, or with a less serious attitude, whereas many men go on there desperate.

Women do this because they can. They still get messages. If it works for them, they're not going to care if you think they're examples of bad profiles.

Also you have to take into account that some of them are on there for sexual meetings.

I just figured guys don't care to read one's life story so I kept it brief. As for photos, I did have OKcupid do that photo review and still attracted more deviants than others on their rate scale. Even though, the photo was not sexy in any way. Most profiles I only picked out content so it doesn't matter how nicely its written. I guess a lot of people get off on that though.

Yeah, its a complete wall. What's incredibly dark is what it seems to imply for society's opinion of people who aren't like that. Seems like anything sufficiently elegant or advanced gives people the odd impression that they might have been abducted by aliens, they have a slice of missing time, can't remember where it went, and anyone watching them could likely verify that they sat there and scratched their head with a bewildered look on their faces - of course any memory of the event is thoroughly surpressed. Woe to the single man or woman who have such fatal flaws as sophistication or elegance themselves - they'll quite literally be made to not exist.

I can't speak for other guys, I'm guessing the same vanilla rule likely applies there as well but, I never look twice at a profile that's next to vacant. Might be that I'm a weirdo and need to see where I have a hook with someone (being a bit of a conformity failure myself) but, there it is.

I think things have to be tailored to your market, too. When I was doing online dating, I had the word "Mensa" in my profile. When I removed it, I got a lot more interest (though not all of it welcome).