not that easy

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I miss a special lady and the time with her. It was one year ago when we started chatting. Before this we exchanged messages for several months.
Until today i'm not sure what happened or did not happen. The last short mail she sent me more than three months ago.
Hell, what happened was a power struggle. At least that's what i suppose. I wish i could stop thinking about her but there's no way. No one said things would be easy.
Generally, if two people have the same or about the same issues one would think they should be able to understand each other. But love is not therapy.
And now i hate all the other women for not being her.

Perhaps I should hate all men for not being my handsome prince charming and falling in love with me....oh wait, that would be petty and illogical.

Why don't you just find out what happened to this woman?

Okay, maybe i should have expressed what i mean more clearly.

.

means that every woman with who i was together since (about six in six months,) was a huge disappointment, compared to my special one. Either they lacked the intellectual format, or we had barely anything in common, or they were sexually uptight, or chronic whiners.

Perhaps instead of "i hate all the other women" i should say i'm disappointed and frustrated. My special one has set standards which no other has reached so far.



Because this would mean to run after her. I'd never give her this gratification. She knows where to find me.

if she has so much in common with you then maybe she's doing the same thing. and you will both end up old and alone and stubborn. the end

Profound words.

Can't want her very much then, can you?

ah yes, when to chase and when not to chase?

If you want someone badly enough, you will make an effort to find them.

Taking a poisonous attitude and doing nothing means it really isn't all that important.

You sound like a bit of an a***hole. Swallow your pride and go find her!

Unless she left you deliberately in which case you're probably not wanted.

Tell us a bit more about the "power struggle". Even if you two had your differences she's still better than any alternative at this point... what's the worst that could happen?

We both are very independent and autonomous individuals, also not into socializing, family, and such stuff. Primary interests are work, career, realization of our individual goals, and special interests.

We were used to having unattached sex with different individuals and breaking up with them if things should become too personal.
Neither of us has sex issues.

When we first met it was due to sex and we hadn't planned that it would become more. However, it did and made both of us feel very uncomfortable. Those feelings weaken an individual, they cause certain issues like jealousy or fear of abandonment, to name just a few. Or the feeling to need the other one, which is the worst ever for a person who values their independence.

The power struggles revolved around those issues and we did our very best to prove ourselves and each other that nothing had changed. We kept on flirting and fooling around with others to demonstrate, "Hey, i'm still free and can do as i wish."

For myself i can say that i was frightened by the depth and power of the feelings she evoked in me. It made me kind of dependent, needy, and helpless. I didn't want to feel like that, because it gave her an incredible amount of power and control over me and my life.

At any point she told me she felt the same and also very uncomfortable, and we fought this feelings with demonstrating that we didn't need each other at all. Suddenly everything else became more important, work, hobbies, friends, other people of the opposite gender. We fought about everything and nothing just to sustain a certain distance.

In a nutshell, the power struggle was to show we don't need each other at all.



Not sure what could happen from her side, but the worst about the idea itself is that it feels like a surrender. As though i would submit myself to her.

u just gota love the human mind and how it form relationship in some of the craziest ways
(not saying ur relationship with her is bad or anything but it is a relationship just not how most people would perceive one to be)