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techn0teen
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25 Sep 2011, 1:27 am

I don't want to be sexually intimate with someone, but I do want to cuddle with people I am comfortable with. I like the feeling of being closely touched. I think I am craving it now since I did not get enough as a child or adolescent due to my extrasensory issues.

I am asexual, and I don't seek sex or feel sexual attraction toward other human beings. Whenever I help my older sister with her computer, she leans on my side. Or one of my classmates pats me on the back. Things like that feel nice to me. They also calm me down, because I tend to be uptight.

I count cuddling as the following:
-Sitting close together
-Leaning
-Grooming
-Softly Wresting
-Stroking arm, hand, leg, head
-Petting (mainly head and hair)
-Arms wrapped around
-Being in a dog pile
-Massaging shoulder/back
-Scratching back
-Nuzzling
-Putting single hand on shoulder (helps especially when anxious)

I am not sure how to actually date people for cuddling. 1) I have to really trust them and like them to feel comfortable enough to let them touch me. 2) I think I would sound like a creep or people would mistrust my intentions. 3) I am worried the other person would want something more than cuddling like sex or something.



cathylynn
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25 Sep 2011, 1:42 am

from your picture, i guess you are a guy. i think lots of girls would appreciate you just wanting to cuddle. that's the kind of info you would share after a few dates and getting to know that someone is turning out to be compatible with you in other ways.



Seventh
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25 Sep 2011, 1:54 am

You could join a cuddle party :)

http://www.cuddleparty.com/



PTSmorrow
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25 Sep 2011, 2:08 am

OMG, this is amazing. I can bear cuddling with humans (i.e., females) only if the previous sex was very good, but apart from that i totally hate being touched and would freak out. However, i cuddle a lot with animals, mainly my cats.



AS_Citizen_43275-B
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25 Sep 2011, 4:09 am

I frequently see Craiglist ("strictly platonic") ads of women asking for a cuddle buddy. That's way too.. uhm, odd for me.

I don't like to cuddle, hold hands, kiss, or neck strangers, not even the first few dates of someone I'm interested in. To me, those are loving acts, I need to love that person, not merely like her. Not judging you, but I see that as a bit weird outside of love..


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EmilyVictoria
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25 Sep 2011, 4:42 am

I too am asexual, I see sex as a necessity for creating life and not an experience that would be particularly pleasurable otherwise :roll: ... I absolutely LOVE cuddles though, and I to, have hyper-sensitivity. Certain forms of stroking or rubbing can feel like acid-laced sand paper on my skin. I've been so lucky though and have met a guy who totally accepts me for who I am and although its not always easy he is willing to listen and to learn what I can and can't enjoy.
In reponse to the original post I would say that you shouldn't set out on a mission to date someone just for cuddles. Your aim should be to find someone who understands the challenges you face and then go from there, sometimes it takes compromise on both sides and even as aspies we can learn to love and so make the occaisional effort in the bedroom.


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Bloviater
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25 Sep 2011, 12:05 pm

I cannot cuddle without having sex first. It just does not work for me. I get horny, the lady gets irritated that'd I be so "cheeky" to have an erection and it turns out to be a frustrating, blue-balled mess.

If it works for you, go for it. Find a lady who'll satisfy your cuddling needs. I'm sure there are some out there for you. :D



j5689
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28 Sep 2011, 8:28 pm

I would kill to cuddle, I never have before, but I used to imagine it and it would just get me really relaxed, now when I think about it, I just get worked up about how far away I feel from it