Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

One sided-love : guys vs girls

Page 1 of 1 [ 12 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

LePetitPrince
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,464

15 Sep 2006, 5:23 am

Do you think that guys experience the one-sided love more than girls?

All my male friends experienced such thing at school and they loved one-sided for a long time ...as for my female friends they rarely experience such thing ..and if they do they experienced it for a short time because usually they give know how to give signs to the guy and *poof* they date after a week.

As for guys friends they knew one-sided love for ages at school and they never made it to get the girl (usually is a popular girl surrounded by guys lol) .

ps: all friends are NTs



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

15 Sep 2006, 5:33 am

LePetitPrince wrote:
Do you think that guys experience the one-sided love more than girls?


No.



r_mc
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 208

15 Sep 2006, 11:04 am

Definately not, if my experience is anything to go by.



Raph522
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,717

15 Sep 2006, 12:22 pm

No...

Maybe you only notice it more because you are a boy. I thought it was more common among women before i saw this...

The popular girls with lots of male admirers probably don't experience this as much, and i geuss the same could be said for popular boys...



krex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Age: 61
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 4,471
Location: Minnesota

15 Sep 2006, 4:54 pm

I think you answered your own question....

The guys get "crushes" on the same three girls because of their weight,cloths,face or popularity.
It is shallow and self defeating...maybe they "think"they want a girlfriend but are really afraid?and pick someone out of their league?I dont know....never really understood but have observed it.

I think a lot of females can see positive qualities in different kind of guys...their "standards" are less rigid and stereotypical(not all females....just in relation to guys.)I know I have "over-looked" someones going bald or "extra-weight" because other qualities they possessed out weighed any negatives.(they say women tend to be less visual,perhaps that is why?)

I have "admired from afar" guys who I was invisible to.If I had stayed focused on them,perhaps I would have missed out on the shy guy in the corner that I was more compatible with in the long run.
This maybe harder for guys to do?Open up their field of focus to consider the unconventional?I'm not really sure....I just know I have been lucky to meet some guys who could.I'm not exactly the "popular cheerleader"type girl


_________________
Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesn't mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang

Visit my wool sculpture blog
http://eyesoftime.blogspot.com/


Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,749
Location: United States

16 Sep 2006, 12:22 pm

I'm a guy, and I never experienced one-sided love in my entire life. If I found myself getting a crush on a girl at school, I made sure she liked me back at least a little bit, and if she didn't (which was always the case), I stopped myself from liking her. I would keep telling myself how I have no chance with her whatsoever, until the crush disappeared. That tactic got me through high school and college without a single one-sided crush. The Webster's Dictionary defines crush as "overwhelming, but foolish and short-lived passion". I completely agree with it, and therefore never allowed myself to have one. Why waste emotional energy on someone I have no chance with?

Now I take the opposite approach. When looking for a date or girlfriend, I can't possibly care less about whether I like her, but I always make sure she likes me before taking any action in pursuing a date or relationship.



newchum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2005
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 641

16 Sep 2006, 7:27 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
I'm a guy, and I never experienced one-sided love in my entire life. If I found myself getting a crush on a girl at school, I made sure she liked me back at least a little bit, and if she didn't (which was always the case), I stopped myself from liking her. I would keep telling myself how I have no chance with her whatsoever, until the crush disappeared. That tactic got me through high school and college without a single one-sided crush. The Webster's Dictionary defines crush as "overwhelming, but foolish and short-lived passion". I completely agree with it, and therefore never allowed myself to have one. Why waste emotional energy on someone I have no chance with?


Your experiences are similar to mine in those respects, when I see a girl I could develop a crush on, I remind myself I am weirdo ret*d, whose life is unbelievably pathetic.



LePetitPrince
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,464

17 Sep 2006, 5:26 pm

krex wrote:
I think you answered your own question....

The guys get "crushes" on the same three girls because of their weight,cloths,face or popularity.
It is shallow and self defeating...maybe they "think"they want a girlfriend but are really afraid?and pick someone out of their league?I dont know....never really understood but have observed it.

I think a lot of females can see positive qualities in different kind of guys...their "standards" are less rigid and stereotypical(not all females....just in relation to guys.)I know I have "over-looked" someones going bald or "extra-weight" because other qualities they possessed out weighed any negatives.(they say women tend to be less visual,perhaps that is why?)

I have "admired from afar" guys who I was invisible to.If I had stayed focused on them,perhaps I would have missed out on the shy guy in the corner that I was more compatible with in the long run.
This maybe harder for guys to do?Open up their field of focus to consider the unconventional?I'm not really sure....I just know I have been lucky to meet some guys who could.I'm not exactly the "popular cheerleader"type girl


I disagree that women are less shallow and their "standards" are less rigid and stereotypical but I do agree about the crushes part.



LePetitPrince
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,464

17 Sep 2006, 5:27 pm

Aspie1 wrote:

Now I take the opposite approach. When looking for a date or girlfriend, I can't possibly care less about whether I like her, but I always make sure she likes me before taking any action in pursuing a date or relationship.


this how I am acting lately.



mysteriouslyabsent
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 170
Location: YouKay

18 Sep 2006, 7:37 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:

I disagree that women are less shallow and their "standards" are less rigid and stereotypical but I do agree about the crushes part.


Women have loads of crushes, funny thing is, I have seen women wonder plenty of times whether men have crushes as well :lol:

Women are not visual in the same sense as men, but they will still obviously be attracted to similar stereotypical things in a man, of course this varies a bit from woman to woman just as men have varying 'standards' or what they find attractive/desirable.



pineapple
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 573
Location: california

19 Sep 2006, 12:44 am

I don't think so either, at least in my experience...



Bart21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2006
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 558

20 Sep 2006, 11:50 pm

Nah it's not something that just happens to guys.
I know plenty girls who experience it.