You've been the death of me...

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I, like most of us Aspies, has always been socially awkward. But I had a lot of friends who were drawn to my nerdiness...until 10th grade. Then, they pursued other things. They no longer wanted to hang out at my house and play video games. So, I was very alone. Then, in 11th grade, I sat next to a really pretty girl that I was familar with all year in AP European History. Over time, we became really good friends because we both liked nerdy things like anime and Star Wars, etc. But, she dated several abusive, unscupulous guys (and girls). Her tragic flaw, besides lacking common sense even though she was a very smart girl for a neurotypical, was that she was too forgiving. She would forgive those punkwads who clearly didn't care about her and they would use her for sex and what not because they pretended to love her. Suffice to say, I grew sick of watching someone I cared about being emotionally tortured like that, so I sought to stop it. Unlike most NT boys, I treat girls I care for like priceless gems. I hadn't intended to at first, but I realized I loved this girl. It had been nearly nine monthes since we were friends. I did everything I was supposed to; I wrote long, sincere, romantic letters, I bought her flowers, chocolates, nerd stuff etc. I even handcrafted jewelry for her, something I learned in the Boy Scouts in Metalworking. For two years, I tried everything I could think of, and for two years she rejected me again and again for the same idiots who had been mistreating her all that time. I had been hurt before, but believed in her, so I was willing to take another chance. I thought she understood me, liked me. I matched everything she wanted in a guy, but it didn't matter all the same. Suffice to say, we don't talk anymore and now that we've both graduated from high school, I will probably never see her again. They say college girls are more mature, but I know better. She was my only hope. Who would ever want to be with an Aspie freak like me...?

Don't give up so easily. I know that unrequited love is so painful, but she didn't know a good thing when she saw it.

There are so many girls you will meet in the future. So don't decide now that this is it for you. Maybe a nice aspie girl is the way forward?

There's no point in pursuing a girl who only dates abusive boyfriends, by being extra-nice to her yourself. Obviously, she has a "bad boy" fixation and no interest in "good boys" such as you at this time. Instead of writing such a girl poetry or giving her flowers, perhaps a few put-downs and unscrupulous behaviour would work better to get her interest.

Or just go after a different type of girl, one who doesn't eroticize mistreatment.

Though I understand the depth of your feelings of loss of a first love, it's still silly to say at age 19 that no other girl exists who will ever want you, for the next 60 years of your life. That would be like applying for one single job, and upon not getting hired there, concluding that you'll never have any job whatsoever for the rest of your life just because that one opportunity didn't work out.

Hey, don't say that she was your only hope! Really, I'm NT but I have been dating an Aspie guy which was also a bit geek (so am I). He is not romantic at all (meaning that he would never do such things as romantic letters or flowers), but if he did I would like it a lot. So, you are young and you have plenty of time to meet a girl who likes you and who understand you and loves you. The fact of you being "an Aspie freak" is NOT a reason why no one would love you, and the proof is that I love an Aspie freak, so why can't other girls love you? : ) We geeks tend to connect better with other geeks, so a good place to find a girl who could like you is getting into some community (internet forums or something) related with your hobbies. I bet there are loooots of single Star Wars fans who are girls and who would like you : )
Again, the fact of you being Aspie isn't an impediment to be loved, I couldn't love more my ex bf.

I love men who are different . Dont give up. : )

I really don't feel like offering advice to someone who makes sweeping statements about millions of "college girls" (I being one) because a pretty, insecure masochist in high school rejected him.

Sorry. Come back to the realm of logic first.

"Very smart for an NT girl"? Really? That's pretty condescending, dude. Are you sure you'd want to sully the master race with a lowly NT?

Also, I've been fixated on girls before, I think it goes with the territory. But you've got to realize that if she doesn't want you, she doesn't want you and no amount of love letters and homemade jewelry is going to change that (Protip: Showering a girl who isn't your girlfriend with gifts and love songs is more likely to make her uncomfortable than win her heart.) I know it's hard to just walk away, but continuing to fixate on her after she's rejected you numerous times isn't going to change anything.

Think of how the guys she's attracted to approach her. Do they shower her with gifts and passionate love songs? Heck no. Probably, they just act cool and confident, like they couldn't care less if she went out with them or not. The reason that these guys are attractive is that they're self-confident, not because they're smart, or good-looking, or rich. Being sweet, and loving, and smart, is all well and good, but it's worth somewhere between jack and squat if you don't have the right attitude.

Blaming the opposite sex at large because you don't have it where it counts is not a good idea, either. Saying, "All women who wont go out with me are floozies who only like abusive guys." is a nice cop out, but that's all it is: A way off offloading all the blame on to the other party when most of it lies squarely with Y-O-U. The best way to find a mate is to work on your self-confidence, act like you think you're awesome (and you have to believe it yourself, or it doesn't work), and go after whoever catches your fancy. If you get rejected, as my dad once said: "Tell her to go to hell and find somebody else." (you can probably skip the telling her to go to hell part).

Also, based on my observation, making a topic like this on this forum looking for sympathy is like sticking your boo-boo in a tank of piranha; you're more likely to get torn apart than find soothing relief.

I know this is hard to hear, particularly at your age where its all supposed to be epic and perfect, but you'll find out just how broken human beings are in the next ten or fifteen years of your life and I think you'll also realize - partly to your chagrin and perhaps partly to your relief - that there's absolutely nothing you could have done regarding your friend. Whether she was abused, whether, she just had something in her that pushed her in that direction, she's her and there's no amount of positive influence you could have exerted that would have changed anything.