[HOT!] The PUA mania bandwagon...

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I don't think it works.

I think the real problem of guys here consists of two parts:

This: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt173196.html

and the following which is the main topic here:

The lack of social life and social circles.

99% of couples I personally know have met in social events and mostly through social circles, usually through friends but in many times even coworkers and colleagues, the other ~1% are by mere luck.

This is the most common pre-mating ecosystem among the normal human beings, but aspies are like the rest of the human beings, their lack of social skills and their lack of interest in social life lead to almost non-existent social life and a very poor outdoor life. That's why you notice many aspie guys on this site go for artificial dating ecosystems and unnatural ways : Online dating, speed dating, sugar daddy dating, mail brides dating, geek to geek dating, suckme-suckyou dating (don't ask..), How to become an Alpha, Alphahood, Alpha-dick,, funny and cocky, PUA ways, PUA books, cat pheromones, love charms, voodoo magic ....etc

But seriously, none of those have proofs of success more than 1% to 3% . I can bet that 99% of positive testimonies and success stories out there are just marketing lies, otherwise everyone would use them.


As for the guys who are just seeking for flings or one-night stands in bars:

I think lilypad's famous curves are very true only in the fling/night-stands scenarios. Yes, it is in such scenarios where humans turn to apes and influenced by the most basic animal instincts. The whole Alpha-Beta-Omega theories are true and only true in those scenarios.

Let's face it, It's not everyone. By years of observation I can guarantee that the guys who get success in those don't exceed the 10%, and they are either the top of the top physically hot guys (the tall, very handsome, with swimmer body, six packs and the like....) or the naturally very high socially skillful smooth talkers (yet he should be at least not hideous).... or the millionaires.

The second type is almost impossible for aspie guy to attain , and if you're not one of the other two then forget about it. Also forget about the sex buddies thing because it's the same.



So the only solution would be enhancing or at least having a regular social life and regular amount of social circles, yet this alone is a hard sh***y journey, and not easier than dating itself at all.

Our extensive posting on WP here is just a proof that our social life is pretty poor, no?

I'm f****d. I don't go to school, and I don't have a car or a job. I have no way of meeting people even if they wanted to hang out with me.

I'm also ugly, slow, uneducated, unclean and poor. People don't like hanging out with folks like that, as it "damages their rep".

I've never had a social life, and I don't even know what the hell a social circle is.

I think the right kind of social circles are important. I hung around in social circles for years and never met anyone suitable. Why? Because they were all "normal" and I couldnt really relate to a lot of them.

i agree with this. i have zero social circle right now......it feels like I have fallen off the face of the earth.

im 24, iv really only had a handful of friends my whole life, most of them were very questionable friends at that, and i met them trhough other "friends'......so there you go. Almost none of them were dating, or knew any girls themselves. the ones they did know, they never introduced me too.

There are so many topics about pick up artists...hmmmmm? Perhaps people on here are jealous? Why all the fuss about something that you supposedly can't figure out how to do anyway? This is like the 15th topic I've seen on it. After a while, it stops being about learning and starts becoming about complaining.

The topic isn't really about PUA, don't be fooled by the title .

i tend to attract people with baggage (who need an accepting ear and a caring heart) into my life and I'm getting tired of it as the only thing that it benefits is the loneliness aspect(which is already taken cared of by my family anyways). I play an important role in the lives of these friends but they don't really add to mine. Perhaps I am too picky? But how can I genuinely learn to care about the normal things that interest people instead of politics and philosophy which passionately enlivens or enrages a handful? The social circle is important but I want to wish away my current circle of loser ingrates who do nothing but complain about everyone but themselves.

Just to clarify "through friends" doesn't always mean friends introducing you to some girl as a potential date, I am not just talking about setting up here.

What I mean, that by having friends and social life, you are much more likely to meet this potential date, and that usually happens to NTs.

PUB?

The saying, "showing up is half the battle" comes to mind. That is a major problem for introverts.

Social circles are incredibly hard to come by. Only recently (in the last year) have I made friends that actually know each other as well. Before that I've only had a friend here, a friend there, etc.
But I find it so hard to relate to them, I never do much with them anyway. They bug me to do things I'm not into, with no less than 8-10 other people sometimes, who I don't know at all. This is way too overwhelming, so I don't meet anyone else (in any sense) through them. And rarely see them outside work.
I've never had much luck in the friend arena. Not many I can trust and rely on, or even find time to do something with. Finding a decent friend is harder most of the time than getting a date.

I'm in a pretty geeky field and I relate much better to people of that variety. But what I've noticed is that these days no one is a real geek anymore. They are just as social as anyone else. I just started a new gig and a lot of the time the guys there were talking of going to bars, drinking (they even have fancy whiskies while at work), etc. So even in that crowd I can't relate. I don't drink or go to bars.

The other thing I find really tough with meeting people not from online dating is theres no 'search'. I can't narrow it down to people I'd actually want to be with. And most random people are as difficult to relate too than when trying to make friends. If I did meet some random girl, either while 'out', or through a friend, chances are we won't have much in common, so how can it go anywhere? I never understood that. If some girl at a bar gives you the eye or something, and you started talking, how do you expect that to lead to anything without caring if you actually have things in common?
I have a friend whos been complaining about the guy shes seeing, how they don't have much in common, he does his own thing and wont include her, and what she wants to do he won't do. So I keep asking her why shes even with this guy? They obviously aren't right for each other.

I recently moved to a new city. I have managed in three months to build up a rather small social circle. I take a writing pad and pens into the pub to write nonsense songs and draw childish pictures. I also dance at any opportunity incorporating my torso stims into it.

By being proudly "freaky" I have quickly filtered out people who have no tolerance for me. The end result is I now have a small social circle. A social circle can be consciously achieved, just don't expect a large one if you use my methods.

I would recommend to anyone who tries the same to do it their own way. Attract people to what's interesting about you. If you don't know what's interesting about yourself ask someone or try something new.

I think most people are put off by me, putting myself in the public view has found some people who like me though. I intend to do the same every sunday and as I continue I grow more confident.

I agree that social circles are the main way to meet interested people. Inventiveness can gain or grow these circles.