Grow content with age ,without love

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Is it possible to grow content and not to need love, as one gets older especially if one has never really had anyone special in his or her life? I want to work rewords being content just as much as I am with trying to find someone. If I never achieve any then there would not be a point in going on living.

I'm 56, never been married. I'm fine. It helped a lot to figure out the aspie thing - all these years I thought I wanted a hug, what I really wanted was a weighted blanket. Aspie or not, it's important to sort out which is what, and to take care of yourself. If/when you find love/marriage, it'll that much more solid.

I think you're the only one who can ultimately answer that.

And to do so, you must really know yourself.

And I suspect that the answer will change back and forth as you get older and more mature.

I think alot of it has to do with how you solve the "life crisises" that you encounter.

My view is from Erikson's stages of psychosocial development

"Happiness is a weighted blanket"

Yes it's possible. Remember...having someone in your life doesn't necessarily mean you won't still be alone.

I've been more "alone" with someone that didn't understand me than I ever was being by myself.

Surround yourself with the things that make you happy...do the things you enjoy...live.

I had someone who didn't understand me at all. But when I was with her I felt a little bit better.

In what ways?

Did you accept the things she didn't understand?

Follow your dreams. Everything else is secondary.

If it is your dream to raise a family, (or as a dutch saying goes, "house, tree, dog"), then yes, it is important.

If not, focus on what you want out of life. Cherish what you have, but don't feel bad because you don't meet 100% of the "goals" modern society imposes on everyone to be considered truly happy.

She lacked the real intelligence to understand the true me. She didn’t understand that I was much better at programming then I am with woman. One time she thought that I was s**t at programming because I failed to write down her number when she said it to me. One time she thought I was sleeping with a woman at uni because she was taking me to her house so I can do some of her home work. Some time she calls me at home, she thinks that there is a woman in the background talking.

Finally she blamed me for stealing her WIG, PEN and one or two VIDOES they probably don’t even have a resale value of £5

Yes.

Yo Bro..... do You have the real intelligence to understand the real you? Maybe you're expecting too much from people. Hope you find Love in your life and someone to hug you, nothing can be done without Love... don't turn your back on it...... its far better than a blanket, but you have to be willing to pay the price, sometimes it hurts

Capt. Katze has spoken

I didn’t really expect her to understand the real me, I know that she would never be able to do that. It was her who dumped me.

Well, heres a hug from me.....

The desire for companionship is pretty universal. If you want it and don't ever have it, you may not ever be happy.

You have to be willing to accept that some changes may be in order to make yourself more available for a relationship.



She seems to have a severe lack of trust.

Why does it matter how good you program? Does she program? It still shouldn't matter.

What do you want from a partner? Are you prepared to reciprocate that?

When in a relationship, are you concerned about the needs of the other person, or just focused on making yourself happy?

Being alone is better then being in a bad relationship...which alot of people end up getting stuck in.
People who have been in few (or no) relationship,naturally tend to idealize them....None of them are with out cost and sacrifices you watch some couple smooching or holding hands...you do not get to follow them home and watch what happens next(and dont count on most movies or books to tell you).
Is it worth it...somedays yes, but its never free.I keep repeating the same message on this site because its as essential as air....the happy you are alone,the happier you will be in a relationship because you are not expecting the person to "cure" all your ills.....and stay away from people who expect this from you...they are leeches(I have been one,I know).Two whole people coming together can make something really special...two half people cant even make one whole person...(bizarre math)

krex
Real good advice there. I've been a single parent for over 11yrs now and wouldn't change a thing in my life. I've had 2 real bad relationships in my life and have gone through life questioning myself what is wrong with me that I can't have a good serious relationship. Well now at the age of 37yrs I am extremely happy being on my own, I own 5 cats and really the prospect of ending up a old crazy woman with her many cats appeals to me.