My bad luck with dating

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I've been in a university for an entire year now, and I haven't found any dates, I haven't had any luck with girls at school. I wonder if maybe there's a problem with me knowing how the "game" works, or me thinking too obsessive. I have some obsessive habits, like when I first meet a cute girl or have a good conversation with her, I'll think about her a lot for the rest of the week.

I also don't think I know completely how to relate to girls. I usually let them do most of the talking, and I keep asking them questions about themselves, but like I haven't really baited them that much, or played them because I just never really understood how that worked. I thought for NT's that the player thing came natural to them, or making a girl want you.

I have nervous and soft spoken speaking when I first meet someone sometimes, but the more I get to know them over time the more comfortable I become with them, and easier it is to open up and not care about how I appear to them.

This is what I look like. Anything wrong with my appearance?

What's with the gorilla mask? Zing!

Have you tried relating to ugly girls? He strikes again!

But seriously, you look fine; better than I do. It's probably a matter of more subtle behaviors, so try asking friends and relatives, maybe professionals, maybe a social training group that does roleplaying like I was in.

ummm... a little lost for words... you are gorgeous ....the girls from your college must have blinkers on....
Without a doubt though... it sometimes takes a while for a diamond to stand out amongst the gems.... just be true to you... the right girl will find you... : )

You look fine to me, but from what I've seen around here most guy's problems don't seem to be looks - if you figure out what it is, please let me know!

Yep, you need to start observing and pushing yourself into situations with people that initially make you uncomfortable, making general chit chat with anyone can be a good way to start to build comfort socializing. You may face rejection and find it awkward at first but take it all as a learning experience and learn to take it on the chin without letting your attitude become bitter, disheartened or negative Being persistent is the key.



You have a good facial structure. Wear clothing that is in proportion to your body and fitting, baggy clothing isn't particularly attractive. http://www.hm.com/us/subdepartment/MEN Clothing like this would suit you. Also go to a barbers and ask them to style your hair and ask them advice on how to keep it parted and kempt. A sunbed and facial steaming can also be good for your complexion too.

I like lists, so I'm going to make you one:

1. You're extremely attractive. So that's not your problem. I agree with Wolfheart, you'd look very good in that type of clothing.

2. It sounds cliche to say things like 'just be yourself' or 'have confidence', so I'm going to give you different advice: stop caring so much. Try not to obsess until you find someone who reciprocates your interest, and you'll be a lot happier. I speak from experience because I tend to do the same thing. Try to distract yourself or you'll drive yourself crazy.

3. As far as talking to girls goes, try giving a girl a compliment. It doesn't matter how shy you are or if you don't understand how to flirt; just smile and tell a girl she looks nice that day or something. A guy might seem nice or friendly, but I won't assume he's interested in me unless he singles me out in some way like that. Come to think of it, that's how all of my relationships have started...

4. If it doesn't work, don't get discouraged. It's better to have someone appreciate you for who you are than change yourself for someone who wants someone who's not you. Even if you feel like it's taking a longer time for you to find someone than it does for everyone else.

And 5. If you don't understand 'the game', look for someone who doesn't play it.

She's right, your a good looking bloke and look your age.

With number 2 here, even if she does share the same interest back you shouldn't care as much, you should care when you two are actually in a good relationship, if you start caring when you are only dating then it will end in disaster.

Number 3 is great advice but don't do the compliments to much to one girl or compliment a bunch of girls because word gets around quickly and the girls who you gave the compliments too won't feel so special any more.

Number 4 is completely right, trust me on this the more you try to catch a fish the better chances you will actually catch a fish in the end, it's all about making attempts every time you find a girl that suits your tastes and if she blows you off, there's loads of other women out there.

Finally, number 5 is correct, you don't want to play games, don't buy into their games and just be very straight forward about it, people who play games want people to chase them but if you don't play the game then the two choices for them are: 1. Chase after you or 2. Move on, since women and men alike want something they can't have easily they will most likely always go for option 1, with few going for option 2.

By the way people, what do you think of my new haircut?!

did you get a haircut cos these trollies were mean to you:(

looks good lambchop

Na they weren't being mean, they were just being honest with my old haircut and I agree so I had it cut, now I look like a man instead of a man trying to be a woman.

Thanks OneStepBeyond

Damn I was talking that potential girl at my college as of 2 days ago, and today my friend pointed out that when she waved to me at some tables outside that she seemed to like me, and taht I should go sit with her, so I did. We had a conversation going and then she waited until NOW to tell me she had a boyfriend. She didn't straight up tell me that she had one, she just kind of slipped it in while she was talking about playing the flute.

Fuckkk whyyy... I was considering asking her out on a date after getting to know her more, cause shes also really pretty. and intelligent.

God dammit, this happens to me every time I meet someone cool, it just turns out that they already have boyfriends -_-.

Last edited by sickforapathyx on 03 Oct 2011, 9:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Just practice your chatting skills and get outside of your comfort zone now and again. You look fine. You won't have any problem once you get some more practice.

You have an attractive face and great hair but your look is too 90s. Nothing worse than having an outdated look, for purposes of finding a mate. Go hipster - all you'd have to do is stop shaving and combing your hair. It's easier and you'll get tons of chicks!

Why can't you still get to know her more? You can use her as practice socialising. Or better yet, become her friend. Don't you want friends? You don't have to scarper every time you find out they're taken, or you'll never get anywhere.

You're a good looking dude - no homo

But looks aren't everything. Girls hate guys who are clingy and have no confidence. You definitely have potential though.

Watch the movie Dazed & Confused and watch how the guys interact with the girls. It will help.

This probably isn't common, so don't take my opinion as anything, but I'm never attracted to soft spoken guys. I find the sound irritating and half the time I can't hear what he is saying.

Yep, I have to agree with everyone else. You are pretty hot, looks are probably not an issue. And I don't think there is anything wrong with your look, maybe your hair could be scruffier. Thats always hot.

Buttt, I still think you should be this girls friend. Even if she has a boyfriend. Just general interaction with women and having more women friends will make the dating part easier.