Dumped I think.

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Last weekend I thought I had a girlfriend, now I do not. Three dates in three weeks, all is going well, planning for the four date and she writes me to say she doesn't have time for a relationship. I feel like an item in the store that a lady will pick up, carry around awhile then put back on the shelf.

It's always the same thing it seems, they say "you're great, never met anyone like you before, you're so nice, I feel very safe with you," etc. Then just suddenly goodbye. Pretty how my wife left too. I do all the right things, hold the door, pull out the chair, walk on the traffic side of the sidewalk, say funny things.

Just feeling really unappreciated right now.

Yea, I know how you feel. That happens to everyone though, so I doubt that it's just you. Are there any things that all of the women have in common from your past relationships? I mean other than dumping you? Perhaps you are consistently looking for some particular trait in women that is causing this response. Maybe you might try looking for a very different type of person. Either way, it sounds like the problem isn't necessarily anything you are doing wrong, just bad luck. Whatever you do, don't quit and just give up! Keep trying. Sooner or later you are sure to find someone who really does appreciate you for who you are, but to find her you need to keep trying.

I'M TRULY SORRY TO HEAR THAT FOR YOU. I KNOW MY WORDS DON'T HELP AT ALL BUT THERE IS NOTHING MORE PAINFUL THAN WHEN YOU'RE, NOT ONLY SUDDENLY ABANDONED OUT OF THE BLUE, BUT IT'S EVEN WORSE WHEN IT HAPPENS WITHOUT THE DIGNITY OF A WELL DELIVERED AND SENSITIVE EXPLANATION. TRY AND THINK BACK IF THEY'RE WERE ANY SIGNALS THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN GIVING OFF IN THE WEEKS LEADING UP TO HER ANNOUNCEMENT. MOST OF US DON'T WANT TO GET TOO HEAVY INTO CONVERSATIONS TOO EARLY BUT MAYBE WHEN THE MOMENT SEEMS RIGHT YOU COULD TELL YOUR SIGNFICANT OTHER TO SHARE WHAT IT IS THEY ARE LOOKING FOR IN A RELATIONSHIP AND WHAT THEY MIGHT NEED FROM YOU, THEN IF IT STILL DOESN'T WORK OUT THEN AT LEAST YOU KNOW YOU DID ALL YOU COULD TO COMMUNICATE AND HAVE CLEAR UNDERSTANDING FROM THE ERY BEGINNING BUT SOMEHOW IT JUST WAN'T A REAL GOOD FIT ON BOTH SIDES.

I KNOW IT'S SUCH A LET DOWN, BUT KEEP LOOKING AND REMAIN HOPEFUL. IT'S HARD TO REMAIN OPEN AND POSITIVE AFTER SUCH A HURT BUT IT WILL INEVITABLY ATTRACT THE NEXT POSITIVE DISTRACTION INTO YOUR LIFE THAT JUST MAY TURN OUT TO BE THE RIGHT ONE TO HAVE IN YOUR LIFE. I HOPE YOU'RE ABLE TO GET BETTER ANSERS IN THE FUTURE AND ZI HOPE YOU HEAL AND BOUNCE BACK QUICKLY.

This lady did approach me. I was pretty flattered to have an attractive blonde want to talk to me.

I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out. I don't think you should consider yourself to have been dumped because you only went on 3 dates with this woman. People need time to get to know each other and determine whether they think the other person is right for them.

But you managed to get not just one date, but three. I think that's something to smile about.

Pertaining to relationships, there are definitely wrong things to do, that tend to hold standard across the board, but I don't think there are right things to do. There may be right things to do at right times with specific people, but that might not apply to another person.

I will not tell you to be yourself. I think that is probably one of the most hated phrases on this website, but perhaps you should just try to take more of a casual perspective when dating, in that you hope it works out but if it doesn't, at least you had the pleasure of getting out and socializing a bit.

Did she like your dog and cats?
I remember once you were broke and needing money? Living in a tent?
Was it a going dutch date?

sorry, I cant do nice small talk

I'm with Chronos (good response, Chronos!). I don't think these are particularly "right" or "wrong" things to do, and I think you have a cognitive bias that is limiting you.

Shrox,

First and foremost, I empathize with your sense of loss. And by the way, it is healthy to let yourself feel what you feel so you can process it and move on when you are ripe to do so.

Perhaps, you have noticed the the thread I posted about 40+ L & D issues and concerns. When I PM'd you, you supported the idea. My hope is that you can utilize it now because coping is one of the steps/stages/tasks addressed specifically.

With all due respect and sincerity, if the thread is a success, I would be honored if you would consider gracing us with some of your art!
You are a very talented animator and artist!

Hugs to you!

Yes, no where but up from there. Still, no adult fun (sex)...

I am the same age as you and I know about that no adult fun problem

I really miss being married especially as the holidays approach. I really liked my in-laws too. It just sucks being alone again...

is three dates a girlfriend?

I have never even had a date or anything and I am getting tired of being alone and it's really been hurting lately-I am just a pathetic excuse for a person all around-I just cant seem to find companionship

Well, perhaps I should say I was on the way to having a girlfriend. Maybe I should just shoot for getting laid, but I will probably get this:

not everyone is an easy lei.