Best girl advice for aspie guys

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1. If you're trying to meet girls at like school or a workplace, heres one thing you need to remember - Being "the cool guy" helps. Giving off the impression that everybody in the room is your best friend makes you seem desirable. Alot of aspies will hang around a group of their peers, and fixate themself on 1 girl and only talk to her. That seems creepy. Sure, you can shoot the s**t with her if you're interested, but if you give everyone else you're with an equal amount of attention, it will work in your benefit.

2. Don't hesitate if the feelings right, because that will also make you look creepy. Be straight foreward with what you want but don't be creepy. If a girls talking to you and things are going smoothly, get her number and text her to hang out sometime. If you've been talking to a girl for a while and she seems genuinley interested, don't be afraid to sit kinda close to her and see how she responds. If she responds nicely, she'll naturally end up moving closer to you. And for the love of god, DON'T stand their awkwardly and nervousley just staring at her. Thinking about what to say to her. Because that can be taken SO wronly by her. She'll think you're a creep.

3. Girls get jealous. So talk to other girls too. Cuz she'll see you with her, get jealous, and want you more. Sounds crazy. It works.

4. Be cute and funny. Make fun of them but in a joking way. If you got a girl laughing, youve got a girl loving.

5. Don't worry about getting put in the friend zone. I love having female friends. Having female friends who can give me advice and I can have heart-to-hearts with about anything is great. My first year in college, I made friends with so many girls and theyre all like sisters to me now. But this year, I've just been flirting and hooking up with freshmen girls. After all those times getting put in the friend-zone, I now know how NOT to get put in the friend zone.

6. If you're gonna try to cuddle up to a girl or touch legs with her, at least make sure the chemistry between you guys is ok enough where you can do it. I saw this one kid with aspergers at my school try to touch legs and snuggle up to this girl, but he didnt say a word to her. He just sat there, staring off into space, and slowly kept inching closer to her. Creeped her the f**k out. I ended up getting a blowjob from that same girl, and spent 2 nights in her dorm because I knew how to get her and I did it right.

I think the Asperger's syndrome is what makes it hard for us to act in these NT ways successfully.

Practice makes perfect though. Best advice - watch the movie Dazed & Confused over and over again. That movie is like a tutorial guide on how to act in social situations. I've grown so socially fluent that when I tell NT people that i have aspergers, they think I'm kidding.

And appearence also has alot to do with it. Keep yourself in shape, and theres nothing wrong with spending a good amount of time in front of the mirror to make yourself look good.

This was me a couple years ago. Chubby, kinda dorky, awkward...Not exactly "ladies man material"


and this is me now. nuff said
[img][800:642]http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/319192_2478237841590_1421845081_32857340_1720523032_n.jpg[/img]

I stop liking a guy if I see him flirting with a load of other girls, just makes me think he's a womanizer who's just gonna use me.

Most of the time, its the other girls that are flirting with me. And obviousley I'm not gonna be like "No, eww go away". You just gotta have the swag to attract them. Swag is key. Plus, most of the girls I flirt with also flirt with lots of other guys so its not like theyre gonna get offended or anything. Its just...idk...how people act at art school lol

Agreed.

~Kate

Why only Asians?

I actually think you look more natural, and therefore more interesting, in the first picture (the "dorky" one).

In the second one, you definitely don't have the "look" I tend to think looks good in guys (though I'm straight, but whatever). And the girls have too much makeup on for my taste, which makes everything look too grown up and "ladyish" for me. Don't get me wrong, the middle one is rather cute, and the one on the left is pretty, I just don't think they're the kind of girls I'd get along with (the one on the right isn't my type in any sort of way).

But yes, about your tips:
1. I do tend to fixate on one girl in a social setting, but I tend to fixate on one person (male OR female) at a time in general.
5. That's hard, though, if you keep being attracted to different girls and it's never reciprocated. If you're the kind of person with the self-control to just "turn off" attraction when the other person wants to just be friends, then this can work.
6. I certainly don't try to snuggle with a girl who I'm not conversing with, but it's still hard to tell if there's attraction or just interest.

Let me see what i can do.

1. At my college dorm, when everyones outside smoking cigarettes, I'll make conversation with a girl I like, and if theres an awkward silence, I'll either briefly start talking to somebody else, or join another conversation thats going on and say something clever. That gives the both of a chance to think of things to say when we start talking again.

2. Say a girl invites me to her dorm to hang out one-on-one. First thing I'll do is sit on her bed. I'm not just gonna stand next to the door nervousley with that "oh s**t what do i do" look on my face. I'll go sit on her bed and make myself comfortable. If she sits on the bed next to me, that means shes trying to comfortable around me. If she starts touching shoulders or touching legs with me, that means shes REALLY trying to comfortable around me. Then eventually if the feelings right, I'll put my arm around her and see where it takes us. So far I've found we'll either end up just cuddling, or she'll start making out with me and eventually she'll take her clothes off, but it all depends on what kinda girl she is.

3. I don't necessarily mean flirt with other girls when I said this. But having lots of female friends does make you seem alot cooler, because then other girls can see that you're not off-putting to girls. Like say I'm walking to class with a girl who im close friends with. A girl that might be interested in me might think to herself "What is he doing with her?" Even though there is nothing at all between us.

4. It's kind of hard to explain the whole "making fun of girls in a flirty cute way" thing. You just need to know how not to be TOO mean. Like don't call her a fat stupid b***h or something terribly offensive.

Also, subtle compliments are the best. You don't wanna smother a girl with a million "OH MY GOD you're BEAUTIFUL!" compliments, but if you casually slip compliments into the conversation, it'll work to your advantage. For example, I go to school in a pretty sketchy city, so if a girl has to walk somewhere and I'll usually walk there with her, and I'll say something along the lines of "I'm not gonna let a beautiful girl like yourself walk through this city alone" or something. Or if a girl is talking about a female celebrity that she hates or something, you could say "Yeah, you're way prettier than her"

Your doing it all wrong

MetalAspie has got Liam Gallaghers eyebrows

and the encompassing neurology for 'eyebrow boy', is that of a babe hound


Its in his blood like Jack Russell terriers and chasing cats

not all the other advice.....

a bad haircut, a bent face

a nervous, unsure demeanour?

most girls wont go for the beiber cut, so 2010

This thread is turning out to be practically useful.

I just act like myself and hell yeah I'm weird. I don't tease, admittedly I don't compliment falsely either. In the last two weeks I have been H O T. On the whole your advice is fairly good. Not my style entirely but I could see it working.

I go for a geek/nerd approach. I sit in the pub on a Friday/Saturday night with a notepad and pens. Everyone who approaches the bar gets asked to add to my drawing, I hassle them for a minute if they don't. This gives the appearance of getting along with people and enables me to practise conversation.

In the last two weeks I've gotten to know a lot of people casually and had a couple of offers I 'couldn't refuse'. Probably not the best approach for a permanent relationship but I sure enjoyed drawing a mulberry bush.

Admittedly my narcissistic belief in my looks helps too.

Should I make sure the chemistry is right first or should I avoid hesitation?

To determine whether the feeling is right or the chemistry is okay,
I must run statistical analysis for each variable and plug that into a decision matrix.
My margin of error exceeds the variables themselves by several orders of magnitude.
Hesitation is the ostensible symptom of such mind-racking calculation.

Intuitive knowledge of when "the feeling is right"
is a luxury that I do not possess.

I say avoid hesitation. Even she does reject you, who cares? It's all a learning experience. I've been rejected by lots of girls, but for every girl that has rejected me theres been at least 1 girl who doesnt. If she rejects you, just try to figure out what you did wrong and then try not to do it next time.



Yeah, girls love bad boys. I skateboard, I love to party, I love heavy metal, I wear a leather jacket, I have tattoos. Girls love guys like that. Girls also like guys who have things about them that make them interesting. Things about their personality that set them apart from everyone else and make them unique.

The thing is, I've been a metal fan since I was like 13, but I was still really dorky and awkward. I've learned how to be a metalhead and be cool about it. I've learned how to have that "rocker swag" that makes people like Lemmy or Steven Tyler so damn cool.

Last edited by MetalAspie on 02 Oct 2011, 5:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, its not necessarily flirting. Its more about just having this confident charisma in the way you talk to girls to make you appear as the "cool guy".