Do you need alone time or together time?

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As an introvert and an ISFJ on the Myers Briggs Personality Trait test, as well as a woman who is an official Aspie, I've always found great relief in coming through the front door to an empty house. It's as if I can almost -breathe- in the solitude. That's how nice it feels. However, there are people, NTs and Aspies, introverts and extroverts, men and women, who are very different than I am. My significant other is different from me. My behavior is somewhat of a mystery to him, so I was hoping that my fellow forum-dwellers could help me out. I find energy in being alone and being separated from others. He finds energy in the opposite, in being around others. We're opposites in that sense and it's as if we come from a different culture. How many of you find energy the more you spend time with your significant other, and how many of you find energy in spending less time? This is only for physically being there, face-to-face. There is no wrong answer, so please answer truthfully

I voted "as much time as I can spare" - together time by average NT standards is like suffocating hyper-clinginess to me, and causes me a great deal of anxiety.

There is this book 'The Introvert Advantage' that talks about the definition of introvert and how to cope with it in an extroverted world. An introvert gets energy from being alone. An extrovert gets energy from being with others.

The author herself is an introvert but her husband isn't, and it's interesting to see how they make different decisions. For example a vacation for her would be to go to a museum, for him it's doing something social.

My wife and I are generally both introverts, She's more extroverted than me. But there are times when we need to recharge a part and recharge together. What's important is that you can get both of your needs met.

for me personally it's not so much about being left alone as not being disturbed in what I'm doing. I come from a family of introverts and it was never a problem for any of us to occupy the same space while not interfering with each other's business. but unfortunately it's a very, very rare quality - "normal" people require constant feedback and that can be really draining.

A couple of times a week is good enough for me.

Every day, if I can. But I do need at least a few hours each day to myself. Nowadays, my job provides plenty of this, so I spend every minute I can with her. Back when my job required lots of interaction with others, I'd need at least a few hours to recuperate before I was ready for "together time."

i prefer daily interaction. i like to have extensive conversations and do activities together really often. i like to go out quite often socially, even though i find it extremely stressful.

however, i also need a lot of time to myself to "zone out" and do my thing. i prefer living with someone as i can both retreat and/or seek the person out for interaction when i am in various moods. i am not the type to sit and watch t.v. for example unless it is a program i *really* want to watch, so i may decide to work on a project or surf the net instead, which is less social. i also have some of my own routines i like to follow.

i guess i don't really hang out unless there is actual interaction going on, otherwise i wander off and do my thing. but i get a lot of comfort from being around a partner on a daily basis.

I prefer daily interaction as well, but like many others on the spectrum, I do like having some time to myself. For me, it's all about proper allocation of stuff like that.