Abusive relationships? (Possibly triggering)

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Hi, I'm just wondering if there's any other aspies here that have been in abusive relationships.
My ex was very abusive and she'd be a jerk to me about my mental illnesses....
Plus it was physical too. Anddd that sucked, because certain touches make me sensory overload.
When people pull my hair I sensory overload to oblivion.
You can ask me anything about it if you'd like

Yeah, so many you almost couldn't believe...

I'd say they (your ex) failed to relate. Rest assured lots of us have no real need to ask, also moderators can be great around here in case you start a helpful thread that goes oblong. Since on WP it's customary to work through this stuff in writing, you may want to visit the Members Only, Social Skills or Haven subforums depending on how you viewed all this.

It's good to see people here to validate their positive choices. You succeeded at something that eludes some people their entire lives!

I have been one emotionally abusive relationship. I found out he was a covert narcissistic just by reading and I realize how abusive he was than I realized and I was oblivious. I didn't know it was all abuse and at least I know now I probably wasn't being paranoid. My parents were not being judgmental either. They were right. It's very easy to defend your partner and justify their abuse or their behavior. "He is just honest, he isn't saying it to hurt me or to put me down." 'he has Asperger's so he doesn't realize how important this is for me" "He lacks empathy because he doesn't understand my feelings because he has Asperger's." 'He just doesn't have a filter." See how easy it is? He obviously hid behind the label to get away with it and so I wouldn't even notice and to make me question myself. So I can understand the "is this Asperger's or is he just an as*hole?" question when people ask it about their partner. But after all if your partner has AS, you just need to toughen up and get over it because they have a disability, but if they are a narcissistic, get out, you don't deserve that treatment, you don't need to get over it you are not being over sensitive. You are not being a narcissistic. So of course you will be depressed and question yourself and let the abuse continue because of the "AS." That is what happened in mine. Yes I did try to help him and try to make him understand and then I realized I had to break up with him.

BTW I have written more about my abusive relationship in my blog linked in my signature.

Yes...living it. Before? Once.

Um... OP never even mentioned AS. Actually that's presumably why they're here so you should probably stop dragging that through the mud. You have a blog for this.

He wanted to know how many of us have been in a abusive relationship so I told mine. Mine just happened to claim to have AS and then I found out he was a covert narcissist. Was I not supposed to say and only say yes?

Look I'm pretty sure aspies here have done nothing to be portrayed as that dishonest. Correlation implies no causation so yes, your guy was in the wrong but you could stand to be politely concise about it.

I wouldn't say I've been there with anyone I've dated but I've dealt with nasty people excusing themselves with labels for all sorts of reasons. I think with all the details you added you could be more specific about how to deal with the aftermaths of these things.

What I do when someone's being intrusive and manipulative is make some tea, drive away quickly and go outside.

I am not sure where you are trying to get at. I don't identify my ex as being an aspie. I used to only because he said he had it but when I discovered cover narcissism, that fit him more and he seems to be nearly textbook of it so I don't say he has AS anymore. Now if anyone asks if anyone has ever dated an aspie and say to say what it was like dating one, I wouldn't say anything because that question no longer applies to me. Even if he did actually have it, I do not care because I find it to be irrelevant if he did or not and I don't wish to contribute to the negative stereotype about us. Hence the reason why I had the word AS in quotes and I said he was a covert narcissist, not an aspie and some covert narcissists do hide behind labels to get away with their abuse. I have read about it at some places. They will claim to have depression or something or use their history as an excuse for their behavior and mine just happened to use AS.

If anyone should be upset about my post, it should be because of how someone could hide behind autism to get away with their abuse and that is pretty insulting for us and for anyone who knows someone with it or has a kid with it.

Maybe my first post wasn't clear, I don't know. Perhaps if you had been following all my posts or have read all of my blog, then you would have understood it than thinking I am trying to make us all look bad and doing a smear campaign. I wasn't going to write it all out again when I have said it many times before about my old relationship so I said it's all in my blog if anyone is curious and wants to know more. I have tags so they can click on narcissism or relationship abuse and relationship break up to make it easier to find those posts so they wouldn't have to search through every post and every month.

My first boyfriend started out nice but became abusive. Not hitting but using me for other stuff :/. I left the nasty pig but I didn't tell the cops and I should have.