Turning someone down

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So you walk up to a girl you really fancy and say, "Do you want to go out with me?" Unfortunately she isn't interested. How would you prefer she turned you down? For clarity: if she says yes, you're instantly a couple.

I voted for the "I don't feel the same way".

On one hand some replies can be really hurtful, yet others are just stuffing people around.

in an honest direct manner.

i dont want her to say a specific phrase, but however she truly feels.

^^ This. But in my case it would be a guy. But of course this is just hypotetical because I never, ever, take the iniciative. Never. But I like straight answers. Trying to "say it nicely" usually ends up in misunderstandings. It is better to be as clear as possible. Something like: "Thank you for the invitation, but no, I dont. I just do not like you that way", or something like that. Actually I think I said something like that once... or twice...

If I said that to someone, I would expect to get slapped. Just stroll right up and say "do you want to go out with me?" Nope. "hang out," maybe, "go out" ... no.

In my life, I have mostly "dated" people who were already my friends. People I was already on a platonic-hugging level with. From that point, after spending some particularly nice time together, one of us mentions that they would "maybe enjoy cuddling and stuff if the other is interested, no pressure, you know." And eventually the other goes for it or not. If you're thinking about asking someone out that way, it also helps if both people have their own transportation, like bicycles. So the "askee" doesn't feel traped and dependent.

Actually, I think I've only ever been on one real "getting to know you" kind of date. I don't even understand why someone would want to date someone they didn't know.

Your point is a little off-topic, but obviously people shouldn't do this to someone they'd never met. That's just...irresponsible.

Last edited by CrinklyCrustacean on 14 Oct 2011, 11:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I voted "I dont feel the same way" Maybe with a little bit of "you'll find someone someday", but only if it is genuine and not a throwaway line. If a girl rejected me but then introduced me to her friends, that's a sign of at least some respect for me...

Ignore, change subject. Treat them like they're ret*d if they don't take the hint. I cannot ever remember specifically answering a girl I didn't like with a "No".

I do however think anything is less rude and more productive than simply ignoring the person and hoping they go away.

The hard and honest truth.

I've been rejected more than a few times & I really wish the women would of been honest with me & told me why they weren't interested in me. I wanted to know what it was about me that turned them off so I could of worked on it to be more appealing to the next woman I liked. I wanted real answers instead of em giving me some BS line to make themselves feel good about rejecting me

no beating around the bush, just tell me i'm not getting into your bush!

"Let's just be friends", but actually meaning it.

I don't think that's the reason most people do it. It's usually done because they probably think the truth will hurt too much.

I've used the friends line before. It would have been extremely harsh if I had told him the real reason. I'm not posting it here.

The fact is, even the real reason can give you no feedback on how to improve. Sometimes people just don't hit it off, they're too different.