How to tell if shes INTERESTED
im sure a lot of aspie guys are as bamboozled as i am when it comes to social ques. that being said, i found a pretty extensive list of things that means shes interested. some of it might be 'place dependent', and not relevant to you. this being said, you should definitely be able to pick up more on some of the nonverbal ques / actions if you know what to look for:
(PLEASE NOTE: you need to observe SEVERAL of these to assume a girl is interested, seeing a girl do lots of these things means shes interested, whilst doing only a few of these might just be coincidence)
* She reinitiates conversation when you stop talking
* She giggles
* She touches you
* She looks back and glances at you repeatedly every minute or so
* She tosses her hair (to see if you will look)
* If eye contact happens from a distance, she holds it for a second
* She smiles at you
* She stands nearby (proximity)
* She interrupts your conversation from nearby, or laughs at something you said
* While walking by, she turns her body towards you or brushes against you
* She says something to her friend then they both giggle
* She asks you for a light, or the time, or in any way initiates a conversation
* While you're talking to her group, she is particularly talkative (to get your attention)
* She asks you for your name
* She asks you your age [make her guess]
* She compliments you
* She is playful and tries to challenge you
* She's disagreeing but laughing
* She's punching your arm but laughing
* She uses nicknames for you
* She plays with her hair while talking to you
* When sitting next to you her leg touches yours
* She repeatedly touches you in any way
* She asks if you have a girlfriend
* She mentions your girlfriend without knowing if you actually have one When she has to go to the bathroom, she comes back
* She holds eye contact when she speaks with you for longer periods of time
* She avoids mentioning her boyfriend
* If it comes up that you like something, she mentions that she likes it too or needs someone to show her how
* When she says or does something, she looks at you to see your reaction
* She looks at you from the side, to hide the fact that she's looking
* She introduces you to friends
* She buys you a drink
* She calls you a player or a heartbreaker
* On her way out, she re-approaches to tell you that she is leaving [get her number]
* On your way out, she asks you where you are going [invite her]
* She returns your calls
* She invents reasons to be near you, interact with you, or have isolation with you
* She mirrors your gestures
* When she starts asking questions about you
* If she leans in when you lean back
* Smiles a lot
* Puts on lip stick/balm/gloss in front of you
* Playing with hair
* Scratching the back of the wrist
* Squeezing your hand back
* Starting a conversation after youve stopped talking
* If her legs are cross her knees will be pointing in your direction
* She will keep constant eye contact
* She will ignore her friends that are next to her
* Will ignore her cell unless her job is an on call type of job
* Will match your speech speed
* Will lower her voice
* She will fix her clothing to show off her assets or have her posture show off her assets.
* She will act cute
* Will be excited or have high energy
* She will show her palms to you and have open body langauge
* She will try to get your attention or at least be apart of the conversation you are having if you are talking to other people.
* squeeze her hand and see if she squeezes back.
* using your name
hope this helps!
feel free to add to my list, or tell me if some of these arent right. i'd also like to hear from girls if some of these dont indicate interest, etc.
Hello tronist how are you? I think this is a pretty good list you put together. I already know a decent amount of them, but I read a few that I have never heard of before. I noticed that most of these signs are mainly in dating situations, where the woman would have more opportunity to show more intimacy. I noticed there is a girl in my class who shows a number of these signs to me, but she also shows signs that you have not listed. It seems women have a list of signs that show their interest in men and if they were all listed...they would create the thickest book in the world. Do you know of any more signs of interest that are more subtle...but actions that involve body language such as specific types of preening, etc?
well, i do know that if a girl knows she'll see you again, and she wears something special (like a dress, etc.) it means shes into you. not telling her she looks nice when she dresses up for you is an EPIC FAIL. whatever you do, dont use the word 'today'. this implies you look good NOW, but you dont look good other times, or as good, etc.
What if you are both on the spectrum and you both don't give off proper body language and cant detect proper body language-thats where I ran into problems I liked the person a lot and I found out that they really didn't like me all along, maybe not even as a friend. I feel so stupid.
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diniesaur
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Oh, man. People probably think I'm a slut. I do these things:
* She reinitiates conversation when you stop talking
* She giggles
(I actually laugh obnoxiously)
* She touches you
* If eye contact happens from a distance, she holds it for a second
* She smiles at you
* She stands nearby (proximity)
* She interrupts your conversation from nearby, or laughs at something you said
* She asks you for a light, or the time, or in any way initiates a conversation
* She asks you for your name
* She asks you your age [make her guess]
* She compliments you
* She is playful and tries to challenge you
* She's disagreeing but laughing
* She plays with her hair while talking to you
* When sitting next to you her leg touches yours
(I try to avoid this, but it happens)
* She asks if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend
*When she has to go to the bathroom, she comes back
* If it comes up that you like something, she mentions that she likes it too or needs someone to show her how
* On her way out, she re-approaches to tell you that she is leaving [get her number]
* On your way out, she asks you where you are going [invite her]
* She returns your calls
* When she starts asking questions about you
(I was told to do this because people like to talk about themselves)
* Smiles a lot
* Playing with hair
(I fixate on hair; it's a sensory thing)
* Scratching the back of the wrist
(This is because of my hives)
* Starting a conversation after youve stopped talking
* If her legs are cross her knees will be pointing in your direction
* Will be excited or have high energy
* She will try to get your attention or at least be apart of the conversation you are having if you are talking to other people.
* using your name
The problem is, I do these things to everyone! I had no idea these were supposed to mean I was attracted to them. Some of these things I do no matter what, and some of these things I do because I'm trying to make friends or have fun with my friends. I'm not looking for a dating relationship...but I don't want to stop doing those things just to show people I'm not trying to date everyone. Does anyone else have this experience?
Every girl does these things every now and again, it's if they're repetitive and centred on one particular person. I still think the most obvious move is when talking to someone else, play with you hair, look over to your crush and smile, holding eye contact. It's the best non-verbal cue I've learned from my mum, and usually lets even the most socially awkward guys know I'm interested.
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Your Aspie score: 157 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 65 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
This is a great list, but having Aspergers, I don't do half these things. If there is a guy I'm interested in around me, I get nervous, I can't talk, I have a hard time looking at him, and pretty much make myself invisible. Not the best way to get a guy! Plus I am oblivious to whether he's interested in me. I think I've let a couple guys get away because I couldn't pick up on their clues that they liked me only to realize that they were hitting on me several weeks later.
I'm extremely hesitant to hit on women unless they hit on me first, because I know that, generally speaking, men want to get into bed with women before women want to with men. I fear coming across as a pervert.
It's also why women need to be asking men out as much as men ask women out!!
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Your Aspie score: 98 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 103 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
AQ: 33
diniesaur
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It's also why women need to be asking men out as much as men ask women out!!
I know how you feel. Whenever I hit on women, they either freak out because they're straight and assume I want to rape them, or they don't take it seriously because they have this idea in their heads that EVERYONE is straight. I, too, want to get into bed with women (and men) long before they want to get into bed with me since I'm ugly.

It's also why women need to be asking men out as much as men ask women out!!
I know how you feel. Whenever I hit on women, they either freak out because they're straight and assume I want to rape them, or they don't take it seriously because they have this idea in their heads that EVERYONE is straight. I, too, want to get into bed with women (and men) long before they want to get into bed with me since I'm ugly.

Geez I have been down that road I am ugly but because I cant always express my feelings I do things for people to show I care about them and get to know them and maybe they will look past my looks and like me too but it doesn't happen-just got hurt recently in that way-I care for someone and they could really care less and they are also on the spectrum.
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No Pain.-No Pain!! !!
You're analyzing it far too much, it does help to look into body language but if you look into it too much, you're bound to be insecure about how you're coming across to her and you'll appear needy and approval seeking, the best thing you actually do just ask her, if you like a girl, just make a beeline for her and ask her. Girls can be flirty or display flirty body language in general, they can even do it for attention, it doesn't necessarily indicate they want a relationship.
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