should i steal this girl from her boyfriend?

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i need your advice on something...

there's this girl who i really like a lot... she's like my best friend now ... she's just plain frickin gorgeous... and she's a little hyperactive, sorta like me,... we have a lot in common... problem is, she's got this boyfriend and they were going steady here in uae, but then for some reason the guy went back home to live in romania.. she's here and says they're going to get married in december.

Now, she's a very liberal moslem, has very few islamic hang-ups, and we're like pretty close... (i'm pretty sure i can convert her to atheism)... Now, i'm a very honorable guy right, so i basically didn't pursue her cos i thought: well she's got her mind set on her boyfriend, or perhaps she has a sense of duty or something... anyways, this other guy i recently met says i should just not give a s**t and make my move.

so what should i do? should i woo her? trouble is, i got to know her boyfriend while he was here in dubai, and we got along pretty well... he's a nice guy no doubt... but u know, i'm an aspie and as it is i'm playing with this humongous handicap... so i don't think it's right that i should play fair..

All's fair in love and war

You can express an interest, but that's all. It's her decision. Maybe dress it in a non-competitive way, e.g. "You know, if you were single I'd probably have asked you out by now!".

To be honest, girls are normally pretty perceptive anyway so she might have guessed. If so, the fact that she's still with her b/f and making wedding plans tells you all you need to know.

I'm worried abot the "convert her to atheism" line. If you really loved her, you'd accept her for who she is.

Only if you can cope with All getting Very Bloody Complicated on a regular basis

you there, he aint........says somethign right?
chicks get lonely.
you figure it out

She's engaged.

If you try to move, you'll probably lose the friendship entirely.

On one hand, you've got a point where you said your already playing at a disadvantage, so why should you play fair? Do they play fair? Most people don't, in fact the whole damn attraction system is twisted beyond belief.
On the other hand, if she leaves her fiance for you, who'se to say she wouldn't leave you for the next interesting guy?
But even if she did, I think if anything you could only gain from it. Even if she did leave you, maybe other girls would have developed some interest in you by that time, after seeing you with her. Women are attracted to men who've already had girlfriends, especially if it's someone in their inner circle. Plus, either way atleast your not in a forced life long state of celibacy for the time your with her (unless she's one of these religious no-sex-before-marriage types).
An old song said it correctly, love is a battlefield. And all is fair in love and war.

Short answer: yes.

Long answer: go for it.

i don't know man, is her boyfriend arab? he might cut your dingdong off if he finds out you want his woman. be careful!

In my opinion. No.

I think you should go for it; you don’t want to be just another aspie male statistic with less then a 10% chance of getting married yourself.

Agreed.


Agreed.

Now that is going too far. That is just another canned cliche. You seem to like using these canned BS phrases!

Why wouldn't you go for it? Just give it a quick shot and see what happens. Then go to the store and buy a gun for when the fiance/boyfriend gets back. I don't think he's going to appreciate this very much. His problem, not yours. Just do what your heart tells you.

Postscript-If I ever say anything that cliche again, please point it out and mock me for it.

Postpostscript-500!

Last edited by subatai_baadur on 22 Sep 2006, 1:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

What I'm saying is - if she's really so wonderful then why the need to "convert" her to atheism? This ignores the fact that she might actually have an opinion of her own. It also sounds as though this is a definite requirement - in other words, she is unsuitable as she is and he's banking on being able to change her.

While the phrase may be considered a cliche, this does not invalidate it. I've never met anyone who is perfect, and any couple will tell you that sometimes their partner is a pain in the neck. One of the main reasons why couples manage to stay together is that the annoying aspects of one's girlfriend or boyfriend are considered inconsequential compared to the good parts in overall terms, and thus become acceptable (or "worth it").

It is quite possible to accept someone as different without accepting that what they say or believe in is right. For example, my last long-term girlfriend was a Christian whereas I am not. Although I didn't agree with many of the things she believed in, I supported her wish to go to church and to believe because I knew that it made her happy and was an important factor in making her who she was.

Wee word of advice... From what I've experienced myself and what I have observed other people do, I have observed that it doesn't matter how well a couple may be matched, if either starts making attempts to convert the other to their own belief system the relationship tends to fail fast. Just because she's a moderate doesn't mean her faith's weak.

wow thanks guys, lots of great advice here... i will give proper individual replies soons I get back home.. right now i gotta dash...

the religion thing... well i definitely don't want to lose her by being overbearing religion-wise.. so i guess that could stay.. cos anyways she's a moderate... i just want my own kids to grow up atheist.. which i think won't be a problem cos anyways everyone's born an atheist.. so i'll tell her to give them the chance to grow up before making up their minds LOL and it'll be easy enough to immunize them against religion..

I want to express my interest in her in the "noncompetitive" way like one of u guys said.. but i'm really afraid of losing her friendship cos i value it very much..

anyways, i'll be back soon.. cheers mates!!