Opening up to people

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I need help opening up to people, so I can have a healthy relationship in the future. I have been repressing a lot of my feelings for years, and I want to be comfortable with my thoughts and feelings.

There are two specific issues I need the most help on:

a) When do I talk to a future partner about AS?

b) When do I discuss personal issues, like sex, with a future partner (this is what I have been repressing the most, because my parents tell me not to do it until I'm married, but I want to be open with a future partner).

If anyone has advice on this, that would be great.

Tim

The first step is to become comfortable with your thoughts. You are free to have any thought you wish. Note that negative thoughts have a way of affecting your behaviour and perception. So you do need to keep yourself in check.

Next, you need to become aware of how you feel, instead of ignoring your emotions. You have to learn how your emotions affect your thoughts, and how your thoughts affect your emotions.

Finally, you need to develop the communication skills to share with people how you feel, and knowledge of when it's appropriate to share.



The right time to talk about important issues is when you both are comfortable talking about it. If you force a conversation about it, one or both of you will become uncomfortable.

If you're worried about what your parents have told you, you're not ready. Woman are pretty good about letting you know when they want sex. If you don't know if you're ok with it, odds are you won't have it.

If you make sex the object of obtaining a relationship, you'll obsess about it and become desparate. If you're struggling with problems in your life, the only woman you'll be able to 'hook up' with will be those with their own problems; and no one will be happy.

One of the most important things you need to do before having meaningful relationships is to figure out who you are, what your beliefs and values are, and what you want out of life. When you know that, then you'll be able to tell when a woman isn't right.

It's important to like a woman because you like the person. Not because your focus on her body blinds you from who she really is. If you're experiencing a crush and can only think about her, you will make bad decisions.

Patience is necessary, you can't expect immediate results. When getting advice, remember there is a lot of good advice, and a lot of bad advice. There are also a lot of right answers, but you have to choose the one that YOU are happy with. The people responding will have different maturities. There is always someone that will give you the answer you want, but it may not be the answer that will make you happy.