I must be a nerd/dork because of a lack of social skills....

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....But only because of that. I have never liked anime/manga, I am not obsessed with cartoons or video games/computer games.

I never identified with the "nerds" growing up, I never felt like that was me. I knew some people like that, and I never felt comfortable around them, nor anybody else.

I was just a loner in HS, I was always by myself, and this facade of college has twisted my mind, thinking that I "matured", when really its not very uncommon to keep to yourself at university, or make some friends you wouldnt have normally made in HS.

The real truth is now that I am not in school. Where is my social life? It is completely non-existant. I am always on square 0.

I am working out 3 times a week and doing training. I am relatively In shape: 180-5 6"

I have a part-time job that could be a full-time job if I could actually get enough sleep to wake up everyday in the morning. I own my own car and drive, and I dont f*****g live at home with my parents.

What I lack is the ability to make human connections. I can make conversations sometimes. I can laugh and have a good time sometimes. I can make jokes sometimes, but ultimately I end up reverting back to nothing.

I have to force myself to talk to people I don't know. Im sick and tired of forcing myself. I have to force myself to leave the house, when I feel paranoid and everyone is judging me, even though noone probably is. I probably do look paranoid and mental in public, I really would not be surprised if there are/have been rumors about me.

What can I really do? Where can I go? My life is a f*****g nightmare right now.

I don't want to be some loser my whole life. I never though of myself as a loser growing up. Even in HS when I didn't have any friends, I always knew there was something different about me. I felt it. I always thought things would get better, I hoped for it, but I didn't know how to facilitate those changes. My dad nor the rest of my family could help me with that.

but now I see who I am, who I have been, and where I might be If I dont seriously just f*****g change and break down the mental barriers.

I can't do that without making some real friends and learning 1st hand about the opposite sex, but i have no idea where to even start.

There isn't many meetups that I am interested in my area. I actually went to a book club meeting, and I was the only guy there, and it was a disaster, and I wasn't even trying to hit on any of them, I just trying to talk.

Advice such as go to bookstores/supermarkets are plain awful. You shouldn't go anywhere or do anything that you don't normally do to meet women. I should never go to a coffee shop to meet someone. Meeting someone is for everyone else the byproduct of just going about their lives, because they have "lives"

I also fear being a loser, no one wants to be one. I'm a geek, I'm very much into computer games and have been one since we got our first computer when I was 9 years old. I know where you are coming from about 'forcing yourself to talk', seriously cbf most of time. I talk back out of politeness, the conversation is meaningless small talk most of the time. It does get boring. I've wondered myself how to make myself more sociable, you can't just walk up to someone and say "hey I wanna be your friend, lets be friends" , its more like "hello, you must know (insert friends name), how are you?" at a party/ social event. In order to be sociable you have to observe/ be around more people, the problem is where to find these people that is the question

I certainly don't care if I'm a so-called "loser" (As long as one doesn't define 'loser' as an impoverished feckless person incapable of anything) , but what I do fear is the complete inability to connect with anybody in this world, you know, the whole thing behind the "lacking social and emotional reciprocity" that's associated with aspergers? And, I don't particularly care WHO I connect with (Well, as long as they don't have despicable habits or some such), I just want to have the ability to connect with someone, so that it's not some kind of permanent interpersonal death sentence.

At the end of the day, you've got positive things going for yourself, you drive, you're independent, you have your own place, you are working out and bettering yourself. The problem is you haven't truly found acceptance for yourself and you are blaming yourself for not being able to fit in, this leaves you with a lingering insecurity about yourself that makes you feel empty. You are self conscious because you seek love, approval and acceptance and you don't want to feel short of adequacy or worth. All I would say to you is that you should stop letting others define your worth, don't let society or social pressure define your worth or value, if someone rejects you or doesn't like you, you need to tell yourself that it's their loss. The sooner you accept this and embrace who you are, the sooner you will comfortable in your own skin and around women.

Losers are underrated.

YEAH!! !

Get a dog. You need something to care for. You can make friends just based upon the love of an animal. Nowdays, a lot of dog parks are opening up and people are connecting that way. The future will eventually bring marriage and a child. You will have a life doing things with and for your child especially when they start school. You can do some volunteer work. There, you'll meet people who want to help others. You can also volunteer at an animal shelter as well.

I agree with trying to find something but try to find something that you like/find enjoyable so that it doesnt look like your only interest is meeting people.

For example:I recently met some people while "advocating"(having nonsense discussions over fb with closed minded people). I was just trying to show them that there were other views just as acceptable as theirs and thats what I believed in. Out of nowhere some people started liking my comments and I started getting friend requests from people on the group and we´ve remained in touch. I know its not the same thing per say because it happened online but what Im trying to say is that you can meet someone almost everywhere but it´d be better if you really liked what you were doing regardless of meeting people...

at least you had nerds growing up. I didn't even have that.