Ouch.......MTV Friend Zone

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I just watched an episode of MTV Friend Zone, where they follow a guy or a girl who is "friends" with their crush, and fakes having a "blind date" so they can reveal that they have feelings for their "friend". The friend helps them get ready, and goes with them to the destination, and then the truth is spoken.

The first two were girls, revealing that they had crushes on their guyfriend. The guys were kind of taken back, but both actually accepted the date and admitted that they also had crushes too.

The last segment showed a guy who had a crush on his gal "friend". When he told her, she told him that she liked him "like that" for the first couple of months, but he didn't make his move so she lost interest romantically. Basically he was rejected, and the girl still really wanted him as a friend, but after the truth there is no way that guy could just be friends.

I have been friendzoned a couple of times when I actually tried to get to know some girls, but I wasn't "friends" with them. I just don't talk to them anymore once I realized I was doomed, and it was alot more awkward than those people on MTV.

Anyways the guys on all of the segments seemed alot like me. I just think it sucks that the girls who thought they were friendzoned were able to make it work and the feelings were mutual, but the guy was really just a "friend" to the girl and she wasn't interested.

i saw an episode as well.

another reminder that action should be taken soon, and if you take too long , you will be burned.

i saw an episode as well.

another reminder that action should be taken soon, and if you take too long , you will be burned.

I don't even get friend-zoned, because nobody wants to be my friend, let alone partner, because I am not their predetermined fantasy guy. I do everything right (making the first move, showing initiative, having goals, trying to get in shape), but it isn't enough.

BINGO! I knew that's what her reaction was before I read it.

A guy has a small window to make a positive impression on a woman and to ask her out. If you miss that window you are OUT.

That is, of course, not true in all situations, and for all women. But it is true more often than not.

the aspie in me does not like waiting, wondering, and anticipating.

the aspie in me likes to find out right away rather than wasting his time

I was in a situation where I was on the cusp of a friendship becoming something more, and I asked for advice about touch issues (she was also an Aspie, and aversion to touch is a dealbreaker for me), and she happened to see my post about it (I wasn't expecting her to see it), and made an assumption that I couldn't communicate (because she never asks for advice, and that's the standard she holds the rest of the world to), when in reality, I had every intention of asking her, but I was just making sure I did it right.

I did ask her in person about the touch issues, but she made the permanent assumption that I can't communicate, because I asked for advice.

Last edited by Tim_Tex on 07 Nov 2011, 9:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.

That was the whole point. That the guy who waited had no chance and was rejected, as OPPOSED to the girls who thought they were friendzoned because the guy didn't make a move right away, but upon hearing the truth the guys went with it and accepted.

Those guys stuck around being friends because they had a crush on girls too or maybe even wanted to be friends, but they went with it when the truth was revealed.

The girl however really considered that guy "just friends" and nothing more. Pretty cruel. I hate to say I saw that one coming. I already knew that guy was going to get rejected.

If you've been persistent, the best thing to do is move on romantically but it doesn't mean you can't be friends, girls I know can be great company, offer affection and comfort and be good for social networking purposes if you have a genuine friendship but if they are just dumping their problems on you, avoid those types completely.

Before I knew I had AS, alot of girls I was interested in romantically said they just wanted to be friends. But then when I tryed to hang out with them they were surpised because they only said they wanted to be friends to let me down easy and I should have automacally known that.

So when a women says "I just want to be friends" how do you know they really mean it or are just saying it to try and make you feel better?

When I caught on to it and a women said that to me, I stopped seeing them all together because I had no idea if they meant it.

I don' think it's a matter of how long you wait, this is a myth, it's more a matter whether she romantically likes (or at least finds you attractive) you or not.

A female friend who's attracted to you will accept you even if you ask her out after a year of friendship.

A female friend who's not attracted to you, will reject even if you ask her out after, days, weeks, months, or years...it doesn't really matter how long.

So time isn't the real problem here.

However, it would be wiser to find out sooner than later.

Do you guys have wild parties, get drunk everyday...like in the Jersey shore?.
I mean MTV has some great shows but I dont think I want to learn about relationships from a network that considers Jersey Shore to be reality tv because it doesnt apply to me in any way whatsoever.

There are some girls out there that do have this concept of friendzone... there are others that dont and as Ive found out the only way of finding which of this groups does she belong is by asking her.


When I was 12 I was a social reject at my school, people avoided me because I was "the teachers pet", my parents forced me to wear fancy clothes to school everyday and most of my classmates thought I had a superiority complex...
One day a girl that was in desperate need of help started helping me getting my life back on track at school as long as I helped her with some subjects. After working together for a while we became great friends, she´d laugh at my jokes,we enjoyed doing projects together, we´d talk about our lifes outside school... to be honest I started having some feelings for her but since I had read so much about this friend zone concept and we had been hanging out for several months by then, all my attempts of showing her my interest were based on jokes(I was the class clown and if she said no I could allways pretend that it was just a joke).

We spent the following 3 years being addressed as "that odd couple"(and trying to get rid of the nickname) and every now and then one of her friends/my friends/sometimes even teachers would come by with the pretense of asking me about something to eventually ask why werent we dating. I usually felt threatened by people I barely knew approaching me so I didnt pay much attention to what they were saying and when it came to my friends I explained them the whole friendzone thing and that I valued our friendship a lot and they agreed that not risking things was for the best.

Eventually we had some issues and we barely spoke to each other at our last year of high-school. On my last day of class she asked me to sit next to her while they were handing the grades and I figured it would be nice to reminisce the good memories we shared. We spent most of the time awkwardly silent and eventually her gipsy friend that was more outspoken than both of us together asked me if I had ever been serious about the whole dating thing or it was just one of my routine jokes I used to get the attention of someone that didnt care about me. By this time she had a boyfriend already and I was leaving overseas in a couple of months so my reply was asking her what did she think, she pointed me out that if I had ever been serious about it I´d have eventually asked her out without the whole joking thing and my friend said she´d have agreed on a date if I had asked her but that she didnt want to be the one that had to take the initiative always.


From then on I try to get to know someone more personally and if theres no mention of a partner and Im attracted I ask if they´d like to coffee sometime or something, there are times when it works and there are times when it doesnt but at least now in my mind its clear that I tried and I dont have regrets for several years.

They won't ignore you, they will be genuinely interested in what you have to say, the best types of girls I find that make good friends are girls that already have lots of close guy friends.

it depends whether you were friends to start with or just barely acquaintances. if you were hardly even friends before, then there is nothing to salvage afterward. if you were genuine friends before for a period of time, it can easily continue after. i've been on both sides of that, and it has often worked out to have a continuing friendship after a romantic relationship doesn't launch (one of my best friends had a situation like that with me).

if a person gives off any hint that they were only friends to try to get something romantic out of the friendship, then the friendship will ultimately fail after a rejection. same if there is any bitterness or resentment lingering on either side.

and spongy, awesome post. you always find great examples.

In my experience, being "friend-zoned" pretty much only happens if you're unattractive in some way or another to the other person. How fast you take action doesn't seem to matter. At least for an example of the second sentence, there were these two best friends in my high school who had known each other for eons, and it turned out they were very attracted to each other but afraid to say anything. They went out for about 3 years.

Also, in my experience, if somebody says "let's just be friends" it basically means "let me dump all my crap on you" and "lord knows I'll back out on you as soon as you try to talk to me about anything." Sadly, I haven't seen a neutral example of this yet. That doesn't mean it doesn't exist, but it's something I have a hard time believing.

Stuff like this is yet more proof that TV these days - especially reality and talent shows - is run off of pure schadenfreude...