Boomshika wrote:
every time i have felt like i "loved" a guy, he became my special interest of the moment, and i would feel like i had to have him sexually. then if we do have sex, i become uncontrollably obsessed with him, and the less reciporcity of feelings i get, the crazier i get.
Eh. Tell me about it. This describes me. Except that I didn't get crazy in the way of stalking the guy, but crazy for him, doing things for him, etc.
So in addition to being a doormat when it comes to doing favors for him, I'd also made myself looking bad for having sex with him. The less they wanted me the more desperate I was.
This happened two times with two different guys who were more than happy to abuse this.
Then I met my husband who was opposite of this: he never disrespected me and he liked me right from the start. He fell in love with me just the way I am, and because my feelings were reciprocated, they didn't turn into an ugly obsession, but they flourished in a healthy way, building a true love and commitment.