So... should I try dating another aspie?

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I've never had a problem getting a girlfriend... but I can't keep one. Girls are attracted to my quirkiness initially, but after awhile they become frustrated by the autistic/NT emotional communication barrier. I'm recently single, and a little frustrated with the same old pattern in relationships. Should I just date an aspie girl already? Is this easier? More fulfilling? Or will I just have to give up and be gay?

I think aspies are better at clear, direct communication rather than subtle social cues.

Sounds like you are reading the cues okay, which is the first step.

The other part is expressing romance in a way she understands, feels internally, and responds to. It's a skill that you can become better at with practice. There is hope.

Also, note that college women sometimes prefer short term relationships because of the age.

The gay community is alienated from society due to widespread intolerance. Also, gays are more aggressive in their dating habits and less likely than a woman to form a long term bond.

Oh, I don't really want to give up and become gay. Well, I don't know. I tried to be gay once but I don't think I tried hard enough. Ha ha. ; )

Try anything once, I say. Aspie-aspie relationships work for some people and aspie-NT relationships work for others. No magic key, I think


I do find myself getting a long a lot better with my aspie husband than any one I have been with before, though.

I have no idea what to say here. I've never dated an Aspie. I have one Aspie friend; other people in my life are NTs. It's difficult for two Aspies, but in a different way than for an Aspie and an NT.

The problem is, another Aspie has her obsessions, interests, her way of doing things, and if she's not compatible with your stuff, it will be difficult to find a middle ground.

Then again, an Aspie girl would never patronize you for being an Aspie or see that there's something wrong with you, so I don't know...

Personally, I find close connections with NTs (family and friends) stimulating. They make me feel better and they get me back on track whenever I go into my Aspie stuff. It's invaluable. But you need to find a girl who is ok with doing that for you.

And you can't be gay unless you are gay. Maybe you're bi? Just nitpicking here, but, well, we're at the WP.

I say you go for it and date an Aspie, why not? NTs never got me, until I met an Aspie and he understood me and we get along really well. We've been together for almost 4 years now.

Where do you live?

I believe the best thing to do is to keep both your mind and options open. We always think we know what we want, and what's best for us, but often we're completely off the mark. Explore relationships with different kinds of people and you'll learn what sort of person you're most compatible with over time.

Some research i have read says Aspie/Aspie relationships can experience the same difficulties as NT/Apsie ones. What does make for a sucessful Aspie/Aspie relationship is if you both share the same interests otherwise finding things in common is difficult and with time alone as we all need, then we can come together on the shared interests. So I would go for that option and would maybe try groups that relate to your interests as meeting potential people.

Cant say i have actually had an Aspie partner yet, but the NT ones really didnt get me so i am single and will wait and see if i can find an Aspie with similar interests. i do believe i have found one but dont think his interested. Just my luck lol

My special interest are...

Psychology, psychiatry, pharmacology, cinema, writing (of course), autism, ADHD, Bob Dylan, retired pharmaceuticals, the beat generation, poetry, art, etc...

They switch around a lot and two at a time are usually especially important to me.

So who wants to date me?

I don't want to date you, but your interests are diverse enough to find people who are into at least some of them.

I mean, writing, cinema, Bob Dylan, sounds good.

I guess I'm saying these things interest both Aspies and NTs.

My experience with other Aspies has been mixed, on one hand it can lead to massive misunderstandings because you are multiplying the social ineptness of the relationship by a factor of two. On the other hand, it can be very comfortable and even liberating to be with someone who you can be entirely "yourself" with.

In either case, I think you should be in the same general point on the spectrum - I could not be involved with someone who hated hugging/kissing for example...