When the Friend Zone is a good thing

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This post could so easily have been one of those "I have a crush on someone. What can I do?" threads, except it isn't. Yeah, I was surprised at myself when I sat back and thought about it.

Someone started a work placement with us recently and she's turned out to be a real ray of sunshine. The whole place is in a bad situation in terms of staff morale and workload, so we're all basically miserable as hell. This new starter though is cheerful, hardworking and kinda cute (in my opninion anyway). I'm not getting any funny ideas here - she has a boyfriend and I don't think she's aiming any more attention at me than anyone else.

The weird thing is, we get on really well for some reason. I guess we have a few interests in common (she has 'geeky' leanings but seems to keep them in check better than I can) but not everyone is so 'open' and easy for me to engage in conversation with. It's great to have an extra pair of hands around the place to make the working day more bearable, but I'm really appreciating the fact that there's another person around roughly my age who I can talk to. Most of the other people are middle-aged with kids or are only interested in things like celebrity gossip and football; I don't meet up with any of my other friends very often these days, so the interaction is probably doing me the world of good.

If I were to answer the question "am I interested in her in 'that' way?" I'd have to say "not right now, and not if I can help it." Since her relationship is ok as far as I know I wouldn't assume she's interested in me either. Right now a platonic thing is fine, and having 'friends' at work is in itself enormously helpful. It doesn't say much about my current situation when something as trivial as this is worth starting a thread about!

I suppose what I'm rreally trying to say is, if anyone in this sub-forum is finding the idea of starting a relationship a bit intimidating, having non-romantic friends in the first place will probably put your head in a better place and give you practice (and self confidence) when interacting with people. Hope it helps.

Yeah, it's true. However, I'm assuming a time will come when you'll fall head over heels with her and you'll be like "f**k! What do I do now?!" But yeah, some people really hate on the idea of having female friends, but really, you do need them. I mean, if you got no female friends, you'll have to be like....Solid Snake, or someone really cool like that, that'll instantly attract girls with zero friendship required. However, I think the main thing is just not to invest so much into female friendships when you hope secretly they'll turn romantic. As long as you don't do that, I think having female friends is a good thing.

The friend zone pretty much sucks no matter how you slice it. But... there can be benefits to it that don't include "If I can't be with them romantically, at least I can be close to them", because that's not really a benefit.

A true friend is always something to be thankful for.

It's never a good thing.

Hmm...maybe it's not accurate to say my current situation is the Friend Zone (which DOES suck...I've been there too)...maybe calling the thread 'How I've managed to learn from past mistakes' would be more appropriate. >_< I have to admit this is all luck rather than judgement though - I was once told "you can't choose who you fall for" - but it's such a relief to not have the usual pressure (I'm my own worst enemy at times). I guess there's a chance I'll report back and 1000Knives' warning is correct, but until that happens I'll enjoy the everyday human interaction that most other people seem to take for granted.

I was never outgoing and popular, but had a few good friends during my student days; we were more or less a 50/50 gender mix and it was the nearest I've ever had to a 'normal' healthy social life. TBH I thought I'd become too jaded and out-of-practice to experience that again, and this rural backwater town makes matters worse. The last thing I want to do is sound like I'm bragging, but I've realised that I'm not completely repulsive to my fellow humans, and can in fact communicate with them on a day-to-day basis. It's not so much 'good news' as 'an absence of oh-no-not-again', if that makes sense.

These placement students stick around for a year or so each time and those of us who've been trapped here for ages end up giving them training and helping them settle in...in this case it's given me a bit of confidence in my work, because helping out the newbie has helped me shake off the idea that I suck at my job!

i agree. and OP, those are some fantastic sentiments in your post. sometimes it can be better to just cultivate a friendship. someday if you are both into it, then it could go farther... or not. but either way you have a good friend and that is worth a lot.

Sort of like having guy friends, except she usually resents being called "one of the guys."

I kind of like his latest "maths professor" look in MSG 4. It says: I can calculate exactly how much force it would take to break your neck.

Do girls have a symmetric "friend zone" issue?

Yeah, having coworkers you can BS with and not be too worried about presence around is great. I work in an office with a boss who's easy to get along with, a guy next to me who's 40 going on 25 and loves toilet humor, and another girl (kind of Katherin Heigl'ish) who started a couple years back who's a lot more sociable than the last lady who was in the same spot. The three of us in particular tend to BS the day through when we're tapped out on available work; sadly in this economy and by way of lead generation that's happening way more often than we'd like these days.

I like having friends. I like having female friends. If it's meant to be it will be, if it's friends, then I'll be grateful. Friends are a blessing.

Unless you mean 'friend' i.e. someone who uses you while you hang around waiting for them to tell you they love you.

There's always friends with benefits. Tough to set up without repercussions, though.

If you're in like with someone, this is a terrible idea. A FWB should be someone you are friends with but are not interested in in any romantic sense.

Lines blur far too easily even then.