people tell me to "just get out there"...

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but how do you "just get out there" when you really don't know or trust anyone?

The key is to let go off expectations and misconceptions and just let things flow naturally. Don't allow past experiences to define who you are or hold you back, approach every situation with enthusiasm and stay confident in your outlook. Join some clubs that are relevant to your interests, join a gym, find some interests that truly appeal to you and make your life seem more exciting and at the very least, you will learn something and perhaps make some new connections and friends.

it really doesnt matter that you dont know anyone, the issue is trying. doesnt really matter where, either.

grocery store, gym (like ^ said), parks, bookstore (other stores), clubs, bars, parties (ick lol), school, etc.

even if you are just talking to people in general, it will help you be more confident. work on small talk and carrying on conversations with people. the trick here is to pick out things they are talking about, and ask questions about them. if they mention a detail about a topic, be inquisitive about this detail. you'll get better at it, but acting interested will go a long ways. smile (look in a mirror to train yourself to actually look like you are smiling, as most of us have trouble in this area), and nod your head to look more interested.

more people you talk to = better you'll get at talking to them. more girls you talk to = better at talking to girls. its pretty straight forward, in this regard.

Now what about for guys like me who try to get out there and get looked at funny or laughed at or threatened? (and all I do is say hi to people!)

Try to look for groups of people that interest you and are open to new members and you are likelier to have a good outcome.

I know it sounds hard but I live in a small city and in a couple of days of search Ive found several groups that did metups and seemed interesting.

As for TOS a friend on another forum is on a similar situation and his conclusion was that he has slim to no chance of meeting a female at the moment(he doesnt go out much...). My only suggestion was to try to get out more and find some offline activities he enjoys. I understand you have to be cautious about meeting people for the first time, why not bring a friend along to make sure that they are trustworthy people?.

I have worked quite a bit on small talk. The only confidence it's bestowed on me is in my ability to make small talk, though even now it still doesn't come naturally to me unless the conversation drifts into my areas of interest. Also, it only works on people I've known for a while; talking to a complete stranger without some kind of a cue to go with (i.e. wearing apparel of a sports team I follow) is something i'm completely unable to do. Most of the people I do talk to nowadays are the people that work at restaurants I frequent, and while I get to know those people quite well, it's not anything that can turn into a relationship because we only know each other as worker/consumer.

yeah I keep hearing it too. "there's nothing wrong with you, you just need to show up more!" i.e. "play the numbers game".

truth is I suck on the social scene without a wingman/wingwoman. but the people that say it are the same people that blow me off the most.

meh.

JUST GET OUT OF....


Ummm....well, let's take it this way, the more exposure the higher probability.

Even if our catastrophic social skills make this probability very slim, it would still be higher than zero at least