To those who are on OKCupid, does this happen often?

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I've posted this in my other thread, but I notice nobodies replying to it anymore. I've got a question. I've been corresponding with a girl on OKCupid for three weeks now, since new years day. Now as I was writing my last reply to her, I got a message saying she had just logged in. Then I tried sending the message, at which point I got error saying "your message could not be sent because an unknown error occurred". So I copied my message into a text editor so that I could paste it and send it again after checking if I was still logged in. I was but it seemed she had just deleted her profile. Later I found that the version of her profile just before she had deleted it, was still open in the web browser when I had checked it earlier to see when she was last on-line. When I looked at it more closely, I found that she had changed her settings from looking for short-term/long-term dating to just looking for new friends. I don't know when she had changed it because I can't remember when last I looked at that but it did say she was looking for someone to date when I first started chatting to her. It's as though she changed her mind about wanting to date someone and then deleted her profile when she realised I was hoping to meet her with the intent of dating.

Has this happened to anyone else here?

No, but lots of people join dating sites like that just for online relationships and have no intention of ever meeting in person. Further, it's possible she has gotten involved with someone else from the site she was talking to or someone she met elsewhere.

She was probably talking to more than one person at the time (most people on those sites do) and one of the relationships got serious. It's very likely nothing to do with you.

I suppose. It's funny though that from the last message she sent me, just this afternoon, still seemed to indicate she was interested. Even replying that me still living with my parents (because I don't earn enough money yet) was not a turn-off, after I finally told her. Since she seems to of changed her settings, I don't think me mentioning that was the reason she deleted her profile though. With regards to accepting a date from someone else on the site, I tried asking her if she would like meet a couple of weeks ago already but then she said that she wasn't comfortable meeting yet.

I've had at least one woman delete her profile after I sent her a message. And she approached me first!

I think maybe they just think 'I don't actually really want to do this' and panic. Either that or I'm a monster.

Chalk it up to experience... good luck with the next one.

Are you sure she deleted it? I don't really know all the ins and outs of OkCupid myself, but it seems you can block people from seeing your profile. Also you can disable it temporarily, which I did recently when I got a slew of "Hey, just send me some noodz from your cell!! !!" messages from different guys when I posted a journal about why there's not a pic on my profile yet. I had confessed how I'm a tad phobic about cameras (and microphones) , so I'm not the kind of person who has tons of pics of myself lying around, and that was what I got for my troubles. So I disabled my account for a couple of days and then when I reactivated, deleted that journal entry. I'm still pissed about it. I've tried 4 dating sites, never for very long, and at every one I've started getting harassed by lowlifes within a week or so.

So while I have no idea what happened with this woman you were chatting with, you might want to consider that it not uncommon for us women to get just harassed by idiots at these sites. Maybe she was having trouble with someone and felt that was the only way to deal with him. Hell, maybe she has an abusive ex who tracked her down there. You never know.

Either way, don't dwell it. Just move on.

And be glad no one's PMing you for NOODZ!! ! Or, has been my case the past few days, getting PMs from guys who write bizarre profiles and then at the end of them admit none of it was true, so you know absolutely nothing about them other than they're not honest--and they seem to think that's cute or something. Heh. At least my weirdo profile's 100% truthful. It makes me wonder if they think I'm just BSing too, which is also upsetting. I shouldn't dwell on that myself...

Well, sorry about that. Its sucks. But good luck to you anyhow.

All my message filters are in place, but do those filters still apply to winks? I had one guy who didn't pass my filters for normal messages (he was looking for casual sex and he matched below 50%) but he managed to send me a wink instead. Kinda weird how he'd intentionally try to get to me like that when he knew I wouldn't want to get messages from him. He'd see my filters wouldn't he?

People disappear all the time online, I just assume it just goes with the territory and move on...

Yes, similar things have happened to me. Just once lately there was a woman who was obviously really interested, and the last I heard from her she was visiting relatives because one had passed away. She told me that we should get together when she was back in the area, but then next thing I know the profile is gone. It seems she must have changed her mind about being in a position where she wanted to date. There have been other instances where people I had gotten a reply from deleted their profiles, but no others that had actually expressed an intent to meet in person.

Oh... and there recently was one who canceled her profile, but gave me an email address where I could contact her. I haven't tried sending her a message yet. Though in this latter case, it was actually her political activism that caught my interest, so while of course there is always the possibility that some woman is into me for dating/sex, I wasn't thinking of that when I messaged her.