What are the "Clues" that indicate a girl is inter

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I was wondering, what are some of the "Green-Light" indicators that let you know that a girl wants you to come and try and open up with her? I know there are certain "clues" or "signs" to read........ these may say a girl is either welcoming your presence to try and flirt and eventually ask her out. Or, she could be telling you to buzz off with her body language and saying she'll reject your advances.

I hear its mostly things like "Smiling" ....... however, I personally find "smiling" to be a bit too broad-based and non-specific for my AS brain to really register. To me, I don't know if she is really smiling at me, or just smiling because she is happy or amused over something.

I know many times in my life, I think girls have sent me "signals" time and time again (Like I look up at them, and I see they are smiling, but then they coyly turn their head away....... or they twirl their hair.) I know these things are probably some clues, but I have a really poor theory of mind, and no real confidence or decisiveness to act in these situations.

I bet there have been dozens of times that a girl in my presence mabye liked me and assumed I was an NT..... I bet many of these times, she was sending me some signals for me to read as an invitation to flirt with her, and she was probably befuddled and perplexed by my (lack of) reaction. I have no doubt that some girls just assumed I'd act on her ways like any NT. Perhaps some girls thought I thought they were repulsive or something, since most NT guys even in relationships will converse with other pretty girls any chance they get.

It makes me upset since I can look back at some situations from years ago, and I think that it was about 80 or 90% likely that a girl was sending a "green-light" for me to initiate things with her.

With AS, its just I have the ability to read people of about a 5 year old. Over the years, I have learned many social skills from trial and error, but most of it is not intuitive....... I know what to do once in a conversation, but I don't know how to read body language as the situation changes from person to person.

I just wonder what are some concrete things to look for? I can handle risking it if something is about a 70 or 80% chance of being a "green light"

I am a girl but I don't know what signals other girls give out. Personally I tend to be a bit backward in coming forward and will wait for the chap to start talking to me. Back in the days when I used to drink I would just walk up to guys, kiss them, and ask them for their phone numbers, but I am not sure that is how most people do it lol.

As I am like you in that I cannot read the signals men give out when they are interested I don't really know what signals I should give out to say that I am interested in them.

I guess I would mostly be friendly towards them and hope they picked up on the hint. I might go out of my way to talk to them, for example if I knew they liked talking to me. Or I might keep glancing at them when I think they are not looking.

I think some women like to play with their hair, and I did read that if someone mirrors your body postures they like you.

In conversation I guess I would look for indications that they were up for going out one evening, even a casual invite could have underlying meaning.

Also if they spent a lot of time talking to me I may start to think they might like me.

Oh and I may also pay them lots and lots of compliments as a way of saying "I like you".

If she looks right at you when you speak. Also, the posture is different, where she might lean in or stand upright and alert. If she asks you questions.

Yep, that's one.

Wow, I have never thought of this before. I think this is another huge disadvantage I have, in that as a male, I am NOT giving off the adequate indicators to show that I am interested. Thanks for bringing this up.

My "body language" I think is fairly constant, and I think I never give off the clues that girls are looking for, so they think I am disinterested in them and don't even bother with me.

Obviously most girls think I am NT at least until they get about 15 feet from me. Then, I don't reciprocate with them like other young NT guys do............. This puzzles and discourages them, so they walk away shaking their head. Probably they had an intention of coming close to me, hoping I'd begin to go through the "ritual" with them, and then they'd walk away totally perplexed.

To me, it seems like when a guy and girl both start to flirt, there's a bit of "song-and-dance" on both sides, where both parties make moves that gradually escalate (body language statements) I think I fail to initiate these in the incipient stages, so the girls are cut off before there is even a chance. And Its not that I'm disinterested...... I have no clue how to begin this "dance."

(Also, I'm sorry to say I can not help you either...... as a male, I have no clue what signals I should give out)

I used to be very oblivious about hints and tips and to some extent because I've always been directly asked out by a girl or the ones that have liked me have shown strong indicators of interest such as expressing that they like me. I think most girls prefer the guy to initiate, escalate and take the lead and maybe that's something that comes naturally to most but it isn't something I find natural.

I know it's not ideal but having female friends can help because you will be invited to more events, you'll be introduced to more parties. One of biggest myths I find going is that you can't get out the friend zone, In several cases where I've been friends with girls, it has lead to them wanting a relationship because they have found me to be a trustworthy, different guy or it has lead to casual intimacy so I would say by all means, go out and try to establish a social circle rather than fixating and obsessing over one girl.

^ That's one thing......... I present as a very reserved and "conservative" person most of the time. (If I get going on an area of interest to me, I will be opposite and open up.)

I read once that people with AS display "little apparent sexual interest." I think potential girlfriends pick up on this vibe from me, and they don't come on to me since they think I am some sort of "Puritan." I dress and present as very clean and groomed.......

I'm definitely not obvious about wanting to flirt, or being an available male "target." I usually look away from girls and can't make eyecontact with them since I am so shy. Its like everything in my presentation and body-language closes the door.

i made a thread about this with a HUGE list of indicators of interest. take a look by clicking this text!

one thing i can tell you is that eye contact is important. if they look at you, and you are interested in them, you have to maintain CONFIDENT eye contact for ~3 seconds then look away. make sure you smile a LOT when you see them and look at them. if you are positive all the time and laughing and having a good time they might feel more eager to be close to you and be apart of your positive energy. if you are always gloomy and shut off from the world it will show and they'll stay away from you, which is the opposite of what you want. YOU have to seem approachable at all times. just remember, smiling is key

practice smiling in front of a mirror so you can give the smile you want to give. a lot of aspies, myself included, have had trouble with smiling and facial expression in general XD. looking in the mirror can help this

Thank you tronist........

I am going through the list and really committing those indicators. I definitely know now that there were times I saw those signs (mostly in the last few years.) It makes me sad atm.......... I know now there were many times I could and should have acted on my suspicions, and there were many great opportunities perhaps I missed.

I've heard it said that each guy in life only gets 1 chance to act on the opportunity with his ideal partner. I hope mine didn't already fly the coop.

Also, it would be interesting to see a similar list, but for males. For me to recongnize when females do these things is all well and good, but its still a bit academic if I can't reciprocate and flirt back ! !