How important is a neat, clean house to a new relationship?

Post Reply New Topic

Could encountering a messy house be a deal killer in a new relationship? What would be more important to you- neatness, or cleanliness? Yard or interior more important? I have a big house and lots of clutter, so I need to prioritize.

I think someone's home can say a lot about how they are doing on an emotional and psychological level. I'm in social work and when I do home visits, I can pretty much tell where someone is at within 10 seconds of walking in the door. Not everyone places that much emphasis on it and I think a lot of women expect single guys to be slobs to an extent, but if it's really cluttered or messy, I think it's definitely worth putting some time into cleaning up.

As far as priorities go, I'd suggest making sure your bathroom is clean, if you are going to have someone stay the night. Scrub the shower and toilet, replace the shower curtain if it's gross, etc.

along with the bathroom, a clean kitchen is necessary for the place to be healthy. i'm generally messy and my husband doesn't mind. we tend to be clean, though. some folks are distracted by clutter. i think it's an individual taste.

It's not important to me at all but I think it would be a lot more important to the average women than it is to me. I'm messy in some ways but the 3 jobs I've had involved cleaning(dishwasher, floor maintenance/cleaning at WalMart, custodian at a sporting goods store) so I'm able to keep things from getting too bad. I may be happy she has a messy house because I wouldn't mind doing a lot of the cleaning for my partner & it would help me be helpful & show I'm useful to her.

I'm messy, but there's a difference between messy and dirty, neat and clean. My place is clean, but it's still not neat; I can't live in a neat space. My husband is very neat so he reminds me to fix some things, especially before the guests arrive.

So, in my book, stuff thrown everywhere = ok. Cockroaches running free in the kitchen = not ok.

At the very least, you should clean the areas your date may possibly see--especially the bathroom, the front entryway, and (if you're lucky) the bedroom. If you're going to be making dinner, you'll also have to clean up the kitchen and the dining table, and if you're going to watch a movie together you'll have to clear the clutter in the living room and brush the crumbs off the couch.

If you've never watched the television shows "Hoarders" or "Hoarding: Buried Alive", they are very inspiring when it comes to cleaning! (And in showing how others might view your mess...)

If I were dating someone and I walked into his house and it was all messy that be the last time he go out with me again as a date. Been there, done that. I have learned my lesson you do have to judge sometimes. If only his room was messy, then that be another story but if it's his whole house, I would think he is a slob and he be a slob in my own home if we lived together and I don't want to live that way and be cleaning up after him. If he had room mates and his room was a mess, still another story because it could be his room mates that are messy and what he does in his room is his own personal space and since I don't mind a messy bedroom and then cleaning it every now and then, I'd be fine with it.

I don't expect a house to be a display out of a magazine. I would expect some dishes in the sink or a few dirty dishes in some places like on a coffee table or bedroom or a pile of dirty clothes on the bathroom floor or a DVD case on top of the TV stand, I think you get the idea. My apartment isn't perfect either so I wouldn't not date someone for not having a displayish home.

i think being clean and tidy will be closer to being 'optimal' for closer to ~75% of people as opposed to the ~25% who wouldnt care either way. basically, being clean will be more beneficial for your interactions with MOST people.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone. One idea that I will use is to focus on the areas that would be seen. I will designate some rooms as "storage rooms." My place is clean, by the way, but cluttered.

I don't mind a messy house, so long as I am allowed to clean it.....cleaning can be fun as long as I can listen to some heavy metal, and possibly be on stimulants but just heavy metal works too.

I really don't care as long as the place isn't a health hazard.

It really depends on the person, some people aren't very neat and others really don't mind. For me, I'm a very neat and organized person, I tend to have my clothes and items coded into different sections of the wardrobes and shelves and if something is slightly out of place, I become agitated or I have a meltdown so I definitely need someone similar in that aspect.

A lot of the clutter is messy, but organized. My music CDs are in alphabetical order within categories, and chronologically ordered within each artist.