Proposition message on dating sites

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I have problems with using dating websites. I've registered in the past and tried to post messages to a couple of girls but they never responded. I know I'm supposed to post messages to about 30:1 for every reply but I don't know what to put in my message. Has anyone had success with this and if so what kind of things did you talk about?

I would not say I had success but I found commenting on things in their profiles or asking questions about something helps a little

I don't know if you would value the advice of a 40 year old female, however, I did meet my husband on a dating site...

Most dating sites (such as match.com) have a series of questions (multiple choice style). They also have sections where you can say a little about yourself. Try to keep your paragraph or two about yourself fairly short and sweet. You don't want to go on for paragraphs and paragraphs. Just about 10 - 20 sentences should do it.

As for what to say in this little paragraph - just say who you are and what you want in a relationship. If I was single again (no hubby, no kids), this is what I might say: (BTW - I would always include 2 up-to-date photos, one with my face and one with my face and body - usually outside at the park or something - this way - someone can tell if they would possibly be physcially attracted to me at a glance).:

Hi. I am a 40 year old, woman. I am single, no dependents. I work full time in the health care field and take a great deal of pride in my career. I enjoy science fiction short stories, movies of all types (SF, action, romantic comedies, foreign, dramas - anything that is well presented). I spend lots of time going for walks, enjoy local history and can often be seen taking photos of buildings, structures, festivals, and other things that interest me while out on walks. I like to end my day with a cold beer on a patio. Speaking of which - I have very eclectic taste in beer and enjoy sampling products from different breweries.

I am looking to spend time with someone who enjoys similar activities and would like to share their own interests with me. I am particularly attracted to taller men (I am five foot, eight inches). I am neither an athlete, nor a couch potato - but healthy active. I am attracted to men who are medium to stocky build, but reasonably fit so that they can enjoy 20 kilometer plus walks.

I am not looking for a long term relationship at this time, but if you would like to spend some time on a casual, "no commitments" basis with a fun lady - please reply with a note about yourself and a recent photo. I will respond to all replies.

If you want - try drafting a little something - maybe the Wrongplanet friends can help you edit and tweak it so that you accurately represent your wonderful self in the most positive way.

I've been getting some replies on plentyoffish, I find that what works is simply asking them a witty question about something in their profile, possibly trying to make an open-ended conversation with it. It's quite a hard skill to master in fact, and I can't quite get it right yet, but I have at least manage to engage in some conversations. Try and ask them an open-ended question about something in their profile, like their musical taste, or their job/career/study.

What I find the hardest is the subject/topic.

Usually I write quite a decent text, but then I have to make up some topic, and somehow everything seems stupid or boring. Result = some messages are not even read.

Besides that I hate to write about myself in my profile. I don't like to write how great I may be at something, but leaving it out is also strange. I'm always wondering whether something I find interesting, bores other people to death too.

What I hate most about dating sites is when you find some1 that you just know you would like, and back, and then you never get a reply back. That makes me ragequit those sites sometimes

If you want them to respond, don't make it too long. I know I will be too lazy to respond to the long ones (and well, I only take the sites half-seriously, but I always respond to the first message, and then to keep me interested is a mixture of things....do I sound stuck-up, sorry) But, like, you also need to make sure you have good pics on your site because at least more than half of the time, I check out the guy to decide how I will respond. I'm mostly checking for religion, but I do pay attention to small things on the profile...and I have noticed guys will have like lame pictures as the profile and maybe a good one or two off to the side or whatever (like for okcupid....when you hover, they have a better pic, that is just annoying). Also, don't just be like, hey beautiful, sexy, cute, generic statement of looks. Those only work if you know the girl and it seems shallow at the beginning. Comment on an interest of hers (ESPECIALLY if shared) and it wins major points. Don't just ask how's it going, or what are you up to, ask them their plans and such (like college or job) and try to relate...that's the biggest thing RELATE. But to start off, just maybe compliment them on a talent/skill and say how you have something you do that you like or are good at similar to their's.

Yes, if you're going to write a message to a woman on an online dating website, keep in mind that most women get a lot of messages, and that many of them are low quality.

1. Make sure your message is grammatically correct and intelligent sounding.

2. Make sure your message isn't too short. Don't make it a profound love letter either. I say around 5-10 sentences.

3. Make sure it isn't something generic that could've been copied and pasted to 30 other women. Tailor it to her. Talk about a few of the things she wrote in her profile.

4. Make sure it is open-ended and gives her something specifically to reply to.

Great advice, but this one can't be stressed enough.
Not knowing "your" from "you're" = instant turnoff.

AGREED!

It depends on the person your messaging. I'm dyslexic & it is literally impossible for me to use correct spelling & proper English. I would be putting on an act if I did try. I'm am NOT compatible with grammar Natzies. I tend to get along better with women who use lots of slang & aberrations. I've seen lots of women who type like that on dating sites. I've seen lots of gurls type ur

Hmmm, it depends, there is a certain effort level from both parties. One of my close friends is dyslexic and he has pretty good spelling and grammar....I mean, I admit, I misplace comma's, I abbreviate words, I use slang, I forget to capitalize I's sometimes...but I hate it when t sences r typd lyk dis. Also, for some reason, it's like my pet peeve when they misuse a word...for instance...this dude (as I was typing this) messaged me...."so how come so cute women like you no bf"

*such, not so
*woman, not women
*have no, or doesn't have a

Mind you, I didn't pick on punctuation, capitalization, or whatever....just, basic things.

Oh, and he just spelled well as weel.......urgola.

they're their now

speek engwish now u think funeeeeeeee?

I think the dyslexia claim is a bit steering off topic.

It's the exception, but not the case.

WordPlay iz a spethal enterist
Hence, deciphering engrish is quite the opposite.
The commingling use of there / their / they're happen to oblivious to many.

kewlio
But when they make dumb mistakes like that dude did in my example, it's irritating.
There is also a line to be drawn in deciphering engrish and plain ol laziness.
There are so many internet memes about it, you'd think they'd get the message.