Guys who don't get a second date.. would you send this?

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hale_bopp
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TeaEarlGreyHot
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08 Dec 2011, 6:34 pm

I didn't know you read cafemom. 8O


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hale_bopp
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08 Dec 2011, 6:38 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
I didn't know you read cafemom. 8O


Someone linked to it on a dating site. I posted it here because I think maybe some guys with aspergers WOULD send that. I'm interested to see.



mv
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08 Dec 2011, 6:43 pm

This is so, so sad. I would react like she did, even recognizing that he's on the spectrum. I feel so terrible for him, but he crossed the line a lot. She should have been honest, it's always the best policy. You never hear from them again, if you're honest and polite.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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08 Dec 2011, 6:43 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
I didn't know you read cafemom. 8O


Someone linked to it on a dating site. I posted it here because I think maybe some guys with aspergers WOULD send that. I'm interested to see.


I sure hope not. This thing has been making it's rounds on the forums, though, and some of the responses are really out there.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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08 Dec 2011, 6:45 pm

mv wrote:
This is so, so sad. I would react like she did, even recognizing that he's on the spectrum. I feel so terrible for him, but he crossed the line a lot. She should have been honest, it's always the best policy. You never hear from them again, if you're honest and polite.


Right? The moment I realized he couldn't take a hint, I would have said something. I don't understand why that's such a difficult thing to do.


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hale_bopp
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08 Dec 2011, 6:53 pm

Well it seems that she tried to hint but got that before she said anything. I'm not sure.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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08 Dec 2011, 6:55 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Well it seems that she tried to hint but got that before she said anything. I'm not sure.


He sent several texts and voicemails before then. Plenty of time for her to have picked up the phone and told him "I really didn't like you, please leave me alone." unless they were all sent in one night while she slept.


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hale_bopp
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08 Dec 2011, 6:57 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Well it seems that she tried to hint but got that before she said anything. I'm not sure.


He sent several texts and voicemails before then. Plenty of time for her to have picked up the phone and told him "I really didn't like you, please leave me alone." unless they were all sent in one night while she slept.


Yeah it should have been seen as needed before then in that case.



Marcia
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08 Dec 2011, 6:57 pm

Wow! Just, wow!

A friend of mine met a guy like this once. Just once. He didn't email though, just lots of long text messages. She did say, nicely, that she didn't want to see him again as they weren't suited and he just got nastier, seemingly in the hope that she'd see just how good they could be together. 8O



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08 Dec 2011, 6:58 pm

I dont see what the big hooplah here is. If anything I look down more on the women who are making this to be such a big deal than on the guy who was just wondering wtf had happened.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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08 Dec 2011, 6:59 pm

MXH wrote:
I dont see what the big hooplah here is. If anything I look down more on the women who are making this to be such a big deal than on the guy who was just wondering wtf had happened.


I blame her, too, for not being straight with him. Not that some of the things he said weren't a bit nuts...

Basically, both parties kind of sucked.


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MXH
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08 Dec 2011, 7:01 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
MXH wrote:
I dont see what the big hooplah here is. If anything I look down more on the women who are making this to be such a big deal than on the guy who was just wondering wtf had happened.


I blame her, too, for not being straight with him. Not that some of the things he said weren't a bit nuts...

Basically, both parties kind of sucked.


actually, the only one nuts is the idiot that wrote the article.



Marcia
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08 Dec 2011, 7:04 pm

I suspect, going by what he says in the email, that even if she had responded to his earlier messages he still would have persisted. Instead of complaining that she didn't reply, he would have argued instead about what she said. Anyone who thinks a woman is coming onto them because she plays with her hair (google it!) isn't going to accept polite rejection calmly.

I wonder what the date was like? Maybe she was trying to strangle herself with her own hair as a means of escape!



MXH
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08 Dec 2011, 7:09 pm

Marcia wrote:
I suspect, going by what he says in the email, that even if she had responded to his earlier messages he still would have persisted. Instead of complaining that she didn't reply, he would have argued instead about what she said. Anyone who thinks a woman is coming onto them because she plays with her hair (google it!) isn't going to accept polite rejection calmly.

I wonder what the date was like? Maybe she was trying to strangle herself with her own hair as a means of escape!


Or maybe the woman can say "Hey listen, I didnt actually enjoy our last date because of this, this and this. It was nice meeting you, however I don't want to go out on another date with you." Pretty damn simple no? The guy would get the hint and would get some advice about what it is about him that turned her off and she would have him off her back by ignoring him as she was already doing. Win f*****g Win situation. No need for treating anyone badly, no need for assuming he is crazy, nothing.



Marcia
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08 Dec 2011, 7:12 pm

MXH wrote:
Marcia wrote:
I suspect, going by what he says in the email, that even if she had responded to his earlier messages he still would have persisted. Instead of complaining that she didn't reply, he would have argued instead about what she said. Anyone who thinks a woman is coming onto them because she plays with her hair (google it!) isn't going to accept polite rejection calmly.

I wonder what the date was like? Maybe she was trying to strangle herself with her own hair as a means of escape!


Or maybe the woman can say "Hey listen, I didnt actually enjoy our last date because of this, this and this. It was nice meeting you, however I don't want to go out on another date with you." Pretty damn simple no? The guy would get the hint and would get some advice about what it is about him that turned her off and she would have him off her back by ignoring him as she was already doing. Win f***ing Win situation. No need for treating anyone badly, no need for assuming he is crazy, nothing.


In theory, yes, it should always be that simple. That was the approach my friend took - see my first post on this thread - and she got even more text messages which were very similar in tone and content to this guy's email.