Love? I don't care anymore.

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I don't feel like I care about dating and relationships. I mean, I guess the cherished idealizations of love periodically waxes and wanes but it's just not an everyday concern. I'm aware of the various traits that makes guys "lovable" for WHO THEY ARE in real life and I don't seem to have any measurable advantage in those particular traits. Things like good verbal memoy, emotional reciprocity and social cognition which leads to "good social ability" and "good communication skills" (The 'good' seems arbitrary to me, but I'm not going to ignore the prevailing standards out of idealism.)

Now, don't get me wrong, I could be a strong-willed, confident, goal-achieving and persistent kind of guy that's attractive to a few females, but it's not "me" they're attracted to, it's where they could be going with me. And, yes, I know I could find a girl, so it's not that I can't find a relationship, it's that it seems to be highly improbable to find 'genuine' love. And if genuine love is impractical, what's the point?

So, I guess the idealizations are merely a dream and it seems pointless to even care.

Yeah, I'm pretty much in the same boat actually. It's quite weird, I'm really quite chivalrous and all that fun stuff in my "love" thought process, but I hurt myself with a girl, not her fault at all, and yeah. Now I just don't care. It's weird, I'm quite a "useful" person to know, I can usually cook you dinner, fix stuff, teach you how to do things, but as far as emotional reciprocity goes, screwed.

It's very odd, too, I'm pretty good looking, I've been told, I'm able to socialize with strangers relatively well, etc. So, if I wanted to just randomly have promiscuous sex with random girls at clubs or something, I'm in a position to be awesome at it. Just, relationship is where I'm screwed.

So I've just basically given up. I don't really not want it, I do want it, and I leave open the option of it, just I don't feel like fighting for it. The effort isn't worth it for me. There's more heartache than I'd get for benefit out of it I think, so I just don't try at it anymore. It's not worth my time stressing over. So I fill my day up with random things, like today I figured out how to do low bar squats, so now I can squat more than before. No use wasting my time feeling sorry for myself, saying girls don't love me or whatever. I could probably get a girlfriend tomorrow, just like I could probably get a job tomorrow. The question is, are those items worth it? I want something that will work longterm, I don't want to risk failure again and again and again, the consequences of failure for those things far outweigh the benefits of success to me.

But yeah, completely get what you're saying. I kinda don't understand why the rest of this board hasn't taken our approach.

If you really don't care you wouldn't make this thread.

He has addressed what you just said.

Love comes love goes! It's not about love as such, it's just a chemical X, it's about the person.

So yeah, idealizations are merely a delusion to which homo sapiens is so prone to. I think when men look at girls they always have this love, more like sex, thing in mind while they should try to befriend them like normal people. And then it might come in a way you don't even expect. In this culture it is didfficult to find anyone who is capable of loving, let alone a lady-person. Also bear in mind that love is tied with wisdom and at this point it might not even be clear what one wants anyway.

I know it's BS but here you go. (Long-remt) love is a very simple feeling at the same time.

my friend Summer knows i like her she is normally a very dominant person and always insists that we do everything together she said she hates always being the dominant person that she wants a guy who is dominant and i can be because my VERY submissive friend last year Cheyenne taught me how to be dominant but i feel it wouldn't be me then you know?

Love may come and go but I don't even know what it is.
(romantically anyway)

Love is another word for status-seeking and lust.

I'm pretty sure there's a difference between lust and love. However, it seems that a few aspies might be incapable of experiencing love just as sociopaths appear to be incapable of it, so it's possible they would never know the difference.