Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

nice girl raises my hope in chat, just to mostly let me down

Page 1 of 3 [ 36 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Frieslander
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,767
Location: Michigan, USA

04 Dec 2011, 6:04 pm

Almost true, my subject header is. Months ago she told me before that she thought we lived too far apart. But I had saved her and saw her new photos, and I ask what her natural hair color was (it was blonde many months ago, and brunette recently). BTW, we're an 88% match, 80% frend, 17% enemy, and were 117 miles apart.
her: Hey
me: Hello
her: I jsut wanted to say hello and thta I hope you'll find a nice girl soon
me: thanks. You seem pretty nice.
her: but this distance isnt gonnawork for us
me: yeah, I know what you mean. I know.
her: but good luck though! :)
me: thanks for sayin Hi
her: :)
me: I know about the distance. Was just curious abou thte hair :)
her: ha
me: Oh, well.
her: its dirty blonde but i darken it for work
her: my students dont take me as seriously when im blonde
me: that's funny. LOL
her: alright
her: :)
her: back to work for me
her: g'night!
me: you too.
her: :)

Sucks that she's nice enough to explain this to me but doesn't want a somewhat long distance relationship, not even a long friendship or have a desire to be email friends.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,049
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

04 Dec 2011, 6:09 pm

Log out of okcupid.

Have a okcupid fasting for like...3 months.

It's controlling your life already.



Frieslander
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,767
Location: Michigan, USA

04 Dec 2011, 6:11 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Log out of okcupid.

Have a okcupid fasting for like...3 months.

It's controlling your life already.


Not true. I wasn't THAT disappointed at that IM exchange. Mostly posted this for fun.



Fullofstars
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 545

04 Dec 2011, 6:13 pm

How did she raise your hopes? By saying 'hi'?
:/



Frieslander
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,767
Location: Michigan, USA

04 Dec 2011, 6:15 pm

Fullofstars wrote:
How did she raise your hopes? By saying 'hi'?
:/


usually IM is fairly promising - to me, at least. If you want to be less friendly, you stay on regular messaging system. I'm betting I'm not the only one who thinks this?



Moog
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,671
Location: Untied Kingdom

04 Dec 2011, 6:15 pm

I think your hopes are raised too high. A woman saying hi of their own free will on okcupid is pretty gobsmackingly rare


_________________
Not currently a moderator


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,049
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

04 Dec 2011, 6:17 pm

Fullofstars wrote:
How did she raise your hopes? By saying 'hi'?
:/


What is your natural hair color btw?



Frieslander
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,767
Location: Michigan, USA

04 Dec 2011, 6:18 pm

I repeat, mostly posted this for the heck of it (I'm starting to wish I hadn't now ; ) ) Yeah, I'm an crazy Aspie who thinks things way to fast sometimes (probably true). I did think that IM was friendlier than regular messages, but maybe I was wrong.



nat4200
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 704
Location: BANNED

04 Dec 2011, 6:21 pm

Redacted



Last edited by nat4200 on 19 Apr 2012, 4:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

Frieslander
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,767
Location: Michigan, USA

04 Dec 2011, 6:22 pm

I wondered about her telling me to leave her alone. You may be right.



Grisha
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2009
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,336
Location: LA-ish

04 Dec 2011, 6:37 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Fullofstars wrote:
How did she raise your hopes? By saying 'hi'?
:/


What is your natural hair color btw?


:ncool: :?



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,049
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

04 Dec 2011, 6:38 pm

Grisha wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Fullofstars wrote:
How did she raise your hopes? By saying 'hi'?
:/


What is your natural hair color btw?


:ncool: :?


*awkward look*

What?? Is it illegal to ask this?



Grisha
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2009
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,336
Location: LA-ish

04 Dec 2011, 6:42 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Grisha wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Fullofstars wrote:
How did she raise your hopes? By saying 'hi'?
:/


What is your natural hair color btw?


:ncool: :?


*awkward look*

What?? Is it illegal to ask this?


For all practical purposes, yes.

In every jursidiction where female H. sapiens are found.



Frieslander
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,767
Location: Michigan, USA

04 Dec 2011, 6:44 pm

nat4200 wrote:
I would un-save her profile.

While she's nice about it, I think she's asking you to leave her alone.


I was sort of wondering that - that was part of the reason I posted this thread. It has been unsaved.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,049
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

04 Dec 2011, 6:55 pm

Grisha wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Grisha wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Fullofstars wrote:
How did she raise your hopes? By saying 'hi'?
:/


What is your natural hair color btw?


:ncool: :?


*awkward look*

What?? Is it illegal to ask this?


For all practical purposes, yes.

In every jursidiction where female H. sapiens are found.


You mean it's like the age question thing?

Wow, that's new.



Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

04 Dec 2011, 7:18 pm

Frieslander wrote:
Almost true, my subject header is. Months ago she told me before that she thought we lived too far apart. But I had saved her and saw her new photos, and I ask what her natural hair color was (it was blonde many months ago, and brunette recently). BTW, we're an 88% match, 80% frend, 17% enemy, and were 117 miles apart.
her: Hey
me: Hello
her: I jsut wanted to say hello and thta I hope you'll find a nice girl soon
me: thanks. You seem pretty nice.
her: but this distance isnt gonnawork for us
me: yeah, I know what you mean. I know.
her: but good luck though! :)
me: thanks for sayin Hi
her: :)
me: I know about the distance. Was just curious abou thte hair :)
her: ha
me: Oh, well.
her: its dirty blonde but i darken it for work
her: my students dont take me as seriously when im blonde
me: that's funny. LOL
her: alright
her: :)
her: back to work for me
her: g'night!
me: you too.
her: :)

Sucks that she's nice enough to explain this to me but doesn't want a somewhat long distance relationship, not even a long friendship or have a desire to be email friends.


I've noticed a lot of men determine whether or not they would like to be in a relationship with a woman based solely on the fact that she is nice to them. In your case, you have some additional information, but consider that most women will be "nice" once you are able to strike up a conversation with them, and part of that is a socially taught behavior because there is such a fine line for a woman between being called nice and getting accused of being cold or a b!tch.

Unfortunately, attraction for women is far more complex and abstract. If we use a car analogy, and men look for cars that are shiny, and have a lot of horse power. That's a lot of cars.

But a woman might look for a car that "feels right", and that might encompass a lot of subtle things about the car.

I think I would regard most OK cupid interactions as highly tentative.