Of all the stupid reasons to be rejected

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GamerNerd07901
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04 Jan 2012, 11:19 am

So I am now a junior in high school. In my final years of middle school, I was firmly rejected by my first crush, who wanted to "just be friends". honestly, most of the girls in my grade are starting to look pretty to me, but only a few of them really stood out. Of those few, there was one girl in particular who seemed like everything I could ask for. She is smart, pretty, very nice, and whats more, she understands a bit about autism, and we just sort of connect on a way that I never have or could have with any of my previous crushes,

So when I finally got up enough courage to ask her out, she flat out said no, (although she understood and she thanked me for complimenting her, and still does now)

Her reason?

I remind her of her brother (who has either HFA or AS I can't remember which,) who, ironically, is the reason she know enough about AS to understand me to the degree that she does. Which I guess is kind of her point ...... but I am still majorly POed :x :x :x


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Asp-Z
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04 Jan 2012, 11:57 am

Forget it and move on.



mad_monkey
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04 Jan 2012, 11:58 am

Everyone has their reasons, nomatter how stupid to you all that matters is if its good enough reason for.them. Just keep going and find someone else



diniesaur
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04 Jan 2012, 1:07 pm

At first, I was going to be like "yeah, whatever, she's stupid..." but then I got a chance to stop and think of the implications of her reason. It seems to imply that she sees all people with autism as the same just because of our disability! What if someone saw all black people as automatically having the same personality? That's racist, right? It's the same principle here. She needs to let go of her prejudices and see people for their individuality. And you should move on; you don't want someone like her dating you.



Daemonic-Jackal
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04 Jan 2012, 1:09 pm

GamerNerd07901 wrote:

Her reason?

I remind her of her brother (who has either HFA or AS I can't remember which,) who, ironically, is the reason she know enough about AS to understand me to the degree that she does. Which I guess is kind of her point ...... but I am still majorly POed :x :x :x


That sounds like a bit of a cop-out excuse to be honest and probably not the first time she's used that line when rejecting someone. Wouldn't be too shocking if she had another reason for turning you down.

Either way whether she was being truthful or not, it's her loss. All you can do is move on.


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Asp-Z
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04 Jan 2012, 1:13 pm

Daemonic-Jackal wrote:
That sounds like a bit of a cop-out excuse to be honest


That's what I was thinking. I wouldn't look too much into it.



AngelRho
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04 Jan 2012, 1:19 pm

Sorry to be the brutal one here...but I've had girls use that line on me before, too. I'm pretty sure, at least from my experience, that she is a genuinely sweet young lady who is really trying to be nice. Translation: "Flat-out NOT INTERESTED."

I would suggest strongly to look beyond girls your age and in your grade. Younger girls are more easily impressed by older guys. Older, mature girls might be tougher to get, but at least with them you have the "awe, he's so CUTE" factor. You COULD try going for other socially awkward or unattractive girls you age, but I generally recommend against that sort of thing. The reason why is if people aren't asking them out, there's probably a good reason that has nothing to do with how she looks or carries herself. I had a LTR with a girl like that when I still felt "looks aren't everything." I mean, no, looks aren't EVERYTHING, but this particular girl had some ugly passive-aggressive issues and I ended up getting horribly manipulated by someone I thought was just a shy, sensitive person. I'd rather know up front if a girl is a downright b!+ch or is pure beauty inside and out. At one point I knew a girl a good bit younger than me who had a massive crush on me but I was dating someone else and too foolish to see that it was a bad relationship. If I'd maintained contact with this girl until she got a little older, some great things could have happened. I'm kicking myself for stubbornly hanging on to the other unhealthy relationship when it would have done me more good to "date around." I just didn't understand that I could have done that back then. Hindsight is always 20/20.

The other thing I'd suggest is don't take dating too seriously, and don't be too picky. Be as willing to go out with girls you AREN'T that interested in because you might find someone out there who is interested in you and over time you might reciprocate. "Just friends" is good because at least that means you have a foot in the door. "Hang out" rather than "go out." If you find a girl who wants something serious with you, she'll let you know.



Lady-ivy
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04 Jan 2012, 1:51 pm

even though you feel your the one for her. She will still reject you, she won't change her mine. Just let it go and move on. Think of the rejection this way "she has just lost out in a wonderful guy" There will be someone for you

Same thing happen to me but with much stupider rejection resoun. The person I had a crush had this list of what qualities he is looking for in a partner. I fit the boat on his list. So I thought I had chance. However when I got to know him better. I asked him out. He said I was not his type for dumb resoions. He said wanted delicate feminine like women. I do dress like someone together. someone who wants to be a writer, English teacher or a English major, librarian Must be book worm( liKe science majors like me aren't caple of being book worms as I do read alot. he wanted librarian looking girl. I wander why he tell single