Advice on how to ask a girl out, for an Aspie male

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Hi. I don't post here often, so a bit of background info first.

I'm 29, Aspie, male, and no girlfriends, no kisses, no sex, nothing. Yada, yada. I'm an English teacher and a Masters graduate, yet I cannot seem for the life of me to master the social nuances of dating. I've been on a few dates with girls, but I never know what to do.

There's a girl I met recently. A sister of one of my sister's friends. At a party, she and I seemed to hit it off. She asked me if I had a girlfriend, and when I said no, she said she hadn't a bf, either. Now that clearly sounds like a signal of interest, right? Girls don't usually advertise themselves as single if they don't like you. Later, she added me on Facebook. Problem is, she doesn't use it that regularly. If I wrote to her on there, she would likely just ignore it, like she does with other posters messages. I have her email and phone number, it's on her Facebook profile.

That party was over a month ago. I feel too cowardly to just ring her up, or email, and ask if she wants to meet up. How do you word a message that tells a girl you would be interested, without coming off as too creepy? Maybe I ought to just ask my sister if that friend of hers is still single, because we seemed to hit it off, etc.

I'm really really sick of being single. After 29 and a half years, I think it's time to find love. What should I do?

I am the last man anybody would consider asking for advice on dating (I have even less experience than you: never been on a date), but I have to say this: do not call her phone number. It would be very creepy. I think you should ask your sister about her.

I'd advise finding out from your sister if she is indeed still single, then sending her a text saying something like "Hey (her name), it's (your name). It was great talking to you at the party, do you fancy meeting for a coffee/drink soon?". If you put kisses at the end of your texts, I would only go for one for the moment, and see how many she puts in her reply. Also, it might be worth asking your sister for this girl's number, as it suggests more that you're interested in this girl, as opposed to telling her you got it from her Facebook, which she may see as a little creepy. Good luck!

Hello!

I'd follow up through your sister, too. It sounds like she might have been interested at the time, but your sister can find out if she might still be interested. Perhaps she can also explain to her why you didn't jump on the opportunity right out of the gate.

Happy New Year!

Rob

Do what the above (Laddo) said. And do it

NOW!

Though no kisses at the end of your text, she may find that as too much of a girly trait in a guy. I 'dunno, I think that's how it might come off as.

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Done. I just sent a casual message, asking if she'd like to catch up sometime.

It was a very brave thing for me to do. A bold step. But I asked someone out. I finally did it.

What you did was probably the best way for an Aspie male to take the plunge.Of course face to face would have been better but you didn't have that option.Well done on your attempt.

My advice would be to pay more attention to social cues, and don't wait so long. I met my current girlfriend at the college, and I only knew she was interested because of awkward stares. She kept looking in my direction. After a few days talking I finally asked her out on Facebook, since that's the only contact she gave me.

Now we're in a sort of boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, and I just hope it lasts.

Thankyou for the comments everyone. I sent the message, I'll just see what happens. If she doesn't respond, i won't take it too personally. I probably should have acted sooner. But I rarely discuss dating related issues with my family (too shy to bring it up) so I consider it an achievement just asking my sister, and then contacting the girl.

If she says no, I'm sure it won't be too mean, because she is friends with my sister after all.